Ugly creatures

David Caruso - Butthead

2009-02-18T11:44:00.001-08:00

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso - A face so ugly only his mother could love or one or the other highly delusional fan... (like dodo/dojo, the dumb one)....

We doubt there is anyone who has been more often ridiculed and made fun of than him. And Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is one of those individuals who deserves to be the butt of jokes.

There are so many reasons as to why:

- his unbearable diva behavior

- his ridiculously bad acting

- his careworn appearance which bears signs of prolonged substance abuse.

Just to name a few.

Recently someone put together a collage of the most notworthy caricatures of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. Is it just us or does Caruso bear a certain resemblance to Mister Bean? LOL

Quote of the day - ..Is David Caruso the biggest douchebag on the planet? Just seeing that picture of him on the CSI cover wants me want to punch him in the neck..(http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/38265 )

David Caruso - Oh, crap! It's Caruso!

2009-02-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

One funny picture.
One funny caption.
14 hilariously funny answers. ENJOY!!!

"Oh crap. He took the shades off. RUN. Does this mean he doesn’t have a career now? (David Caruso)"

Vilebird
That may be the creepiest picture I’ve ever seen of him. Looks like he’s practicing seducing people like a serial killer would.

ugiron
If he had a brain he would understand how ridiculous he looks. He still thinks he looks cool doing that. That moron was still in grade school when Robert Stack made fun of the Sunglasses Yank in Airplane!

bean
Does anybody else thing this man looks like an orange lizard…?

Captain Blowme
Uhoh, he took the glasses off. He is now -20 Acting Ability, -50 Emoting.
forge Also, channeling Chester the Cheezy Cheetah =/= acting. Try again fella.

Hemibill
Take away the glasses and he looks like John Mark Karr.

Jon
Lol, the overacting reminds me of Star-Trek… Ironically, the shows have about an equal basis in real science between them!

Tessie
Oh, crap. He’s going to try to act. RUN!!

Pugiron
Was the part where he got punched in the face better or the part where he got killed? I loved both!

2kissy
The fact that he is even on the air (let alone the lead in a hit show) amazes me. It sure has nothing to do with talent (pathetically lacking). Maybe he knows where the bodies are buried & blackmailed his way back onto TV.

geesh!
Hi anyone else think he has a HUGE forehead??

1redcat
Roundhouse kick. Next question?

Julz
I think he went to the Joey Tribiani school of acting .. takes the glasses off for effect. Gawd he’s a major douche and looks like an overgrown leprechaun.

asslee
This guy is the worst actor ever.
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http://roflrazzi.com/2009/02/15/celebrity-pictures-david-caruso-shades-off/
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Quote of the day - "It is great that so many people can come together to share an overwhelming emotion...even if it is hatred for another person...David Caruso - bringing the world together, one person at a time..." (http://organicmeatbag.blogspot.com/2009/02/david-caruso-i-hate-you.html?zx=9493ff1f4a1d6ca0)

David Caruso - Caruso Dream Interpretation

2009-02-15T09:42:00.000-08:00

Ever dreamed of HoCaine?
Ever dreamed David Caruso?

Nasty, we know. If yes, you should seek help immediately . Because you are obviously in big trouble:

Lieutenant Horatio Caine (David Caruso): If you are a man, dreaming of Horatio means you could be showing tendencies of megalomania.
And, for some reason, you think some people just don’t like you and are talking and writing nasty things about you behind your back. Seek professional help immediately. Better yet, go out and buy yourself a good pair of sunglasses, they’ll make you feel more powerful.

If you are a woman dreaming of Horatio, wake up, it’s a nightmare
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http://iliketowatchtv.blogspot.com/2008/06/csi-dream-interpretation-guide.html
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Quote of the day - "Wow! It appears that you are indeed the authority on Caruso! Hopefully our body of work will lead to him being trampled by a pack of Rhinos somewhere in the Serengeti...."
(http://organicmeatbag.blogspot.com/2009/02/david-caruso-i-hate-you.html)

David Caruso - Never ask a redhead...

2009-02-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

Approximately 2 percent of the world's population has red hair. Among them Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. Dying to find out if all the "two copies of a recessive gene on chromosome 4" myths are true, but you're not sure how to proceed?
Today we are offering you these ten sacrilegious questions of the Ginger Church that are best left unasked when in company of TV's most annoying/untalented redhead......

10. "Do you dye your hair?"
We are sure Caruso does...even his pubes.
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9. "Can I touch it?"
Are you sure you really want that?
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8. "Do you know Conan O'Brien?"
He's Caruso's long lost twin-brother.
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7. "So, does the carpet match the drapes?"
Always!
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6. "I bet you have a fiery temper?"
Just ask Emily Procter and everyone who had the bad luck to work with Caruso.
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5. "Did you see that 'South Park' episode where Cartman rags on all the 'ginger kids?'"
Caruso videotaped it and watches it religiously every day before he falls asleep.
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4. "Mind if I count your freckles?
Everywhere but those on Caruso's Willy.
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3. "Do you have to wear sunblock all the time?
Caruso bathes in it.
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2. "Can you go out in the sun?"
Only if Caruso has to.
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1. "Are you Irish?"
At least 50%. But Caruso can drink them all under the table.
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Edited from: http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/02/13/10-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-redheaded-man/
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Quote of the day - "I mean, Caruso was called Kit Kat! If that's not the sign of a movie that's In On The Joke, then... well, okay, maybe it's not." (http://videogum.com/archives/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time/the-hunt-for-the-worst-movie-o-20_017071.html?utm_source=bb&utm_medium=rc)

David Caruso - Ever had sex with David Caruso?

2009-02-13T09:02:00.000-08:00

We know, it is a completely gross thought. He is old, ugly, wrinly and just a huge DORK (= Icon of Idiocy). Besides, we doubt he would be able to get it up without one or the other little helper....(Thank God, for little blue pills, right Dave?)

.....Just a random LOLism I made in honor of an inside joke in my circle of friends.
Get enough alcohol into your system...well, let me just say that it involved an entire e-mail conversation about how gross it would be to have sex with David Caruso.
Of course, when he's done having his way with you, he would turn to you in profile, take off his ever present sunglasses, and say "and that's how you crack the case!"...

Barf!!!!
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http://peasant007.livejournal.com/2475.html
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Quote of the day - No, David Caruso neither inspires fear, or sexual feelings. Only pity. (http://answerology.com/index.aspx/question/2402838_The-Hetrosexual-Questionaire.html).

David Caruso - A douchebag and a dog

2009-02-11T15:56:00.001-08:00

It is no big secret that Icon of Idiocy David Caruso likes to be front and center 24/7. And it is also widely known that he doesn't like be upstaged - be it by fellow actors like Tom Sizemore or.....by dogs performing a daring feat....

This is NOT your action shot, Caruso. You are rude. You have no manners! Douchebag!

Picture: http://cartoonpenis.tumblr.com/post/75167641/this-is-not-your-action-shot-caruso-you-are

Quote of the day - "Caruso said the lines with all the emotion you would expect from Kelly deciding what to order for dinner, because he was supremely disinterested in any storyline that didn't have Kelly as the focus."

(http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~sepinwal/summaries/season3.characters)

David Caruso - Presumed Crappy

2009-02-09T16:10:00.000-08:00

What happens if Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and larger than life diva P. Diddy meet for a scene?

ACTING BRUTALITY !!!

Phew.....watch at your own risk. A crappy scene between two crappy actors on one of the crappiest shows in TV-history could go something like that:

Diddy: I know the law. You might even say it's my job. Just call me Sean Combs: Lawttorney At Law. [he sniffs the air] I know I am king. Are you?

[Diddy tosses a bottle of his fragrance I Am King to Caruso. Caruso, being Caruso, lets it fall to the floor. The bottle shatters.]

Caruso: Oops.

[The score plinks dramatically for another 10 minutes. Caruso puts on his aviators and walks around in the perpetual Miami sunset. Caruso's hair looks like a soft cotton top of a giant Q-tip soaked through with iodine and left out in the sun. There's a closeup of a knife wound. More dramatic plinking. End.]

Faithful readers of our blog now, the more PR an episode gets the shittier it will turn out, With the large amount of promos we have been showered with in the last hours it is a sure thing that this episode will most likely be nothing but A HUGE PILE OF CRAP...

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http://www.avclub.com/articles/diddy-is-a-lawyer-who-knows-the-law,23605/
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Quote of the day - "That David Caruso clip has confirmed my decision to give up t.v. was absolutely sound!" (http://mdh1954.wordpress.com/2007/12/27/4-facts-1-opinion-and-too-much-information/)

David Caruso - Seperated at birth?

2009-02-08T14:29:00.001-08:00

Is it just me or does Illinois Governor Blagojevich, who is currently being impeached, look strangely similar to someone else we may know? CSI Miami “star”, I say star in quotes because to be a star would mean you have to know how to act, David Caruso.
Caruso is a graduate of the William Shatner School of Scenery Chewing. The talent is a bottomless pit...The bottom's a talentless shit more like...LOL
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http://g3insider.com/2009/01/26/is-it-just-me-or/
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Quote of the day - "How about David Caruso? One of the most insufferable goons with a SAG card." (http://emergingpictur.setupmyblog.com/?p=25)

David Caruso - Nasty Habits

2009-02-07T16:57:00.001-08:00

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso has many bad habits - boozing, fooling around, cursing and spitting on the set. In short, he is one misearble son of a bitch.
Now we find David Caruso in a storage room full of Japanese sex-dolls.
How interesting!
No wonder Caruso looks so wrinkly and tired in every episode on CSI Miami. We just detected the REAL REASON as to why he almost falls asleep while reading his lines...
The old ginger pervert has been busy playing with his rubber toys - night after night!
Shame on you Dave! Now that's really a nasty habit ! LOL.
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Picture:
http://darkdiamond.net/web-notes/japanese-love-doll-storage-like-a-morgue-only-sexier/
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Quote of the day -"David Caruso?? Slap slappity slap!Can we sandblast David Caruso with termite-infested Thai hooker crabs? " (http://mdh1954.wordpress.com/2007/12/27/4-facts-1-opinion-and-too-much-information/#comments)

David Caruso - Shave it, Caruso!

2009-02-06T10:31:00.001-08:00

We all know Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is in constant need of money: two kids out of wedlock, an Ex and sperm receptacle Amina Islam have to be clothed and fed. Plus the maintenance for two houses that has to be paid. And ocassional strip-bar visits aren't that cheap either...
Oh boy, playing musical houses can burn a hole in a mans' wallet, right Dave?

According to a fellow blogger David Caruso obviously has found a way - to make some additional cash:

SHAVE THE BABY!

....David Caruso outdid himself this time. Not only is he already an internet meme superstar, he has decided to come out with a line of very life-like action figures of himself saying “You can shave the baby!”
Therein folks, lies the trend-savvyness and mystery of David Caruso.

What do you shave the baby with?
Where’s the baby to shave?
Who’s baby is it?
Are we expected to shave the proverbial baby?
Do babies need to be shaved against the grain?

Go against the grain, David! Do it!
And the fact that he made the executive decision to let his action figure wear the new Softmoc Emu boots (Uggs are so Jessica Blimpson circa Nick Laghey) shows that he is not only a branding genius, but a fashion canon of our generation.
Watch out Armani! Another bisexual is coming to take your throne away...

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http://sunnyfong.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/we-all-can-shave-our-babies/

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Quote of the day - Poor David Caruso. I remember when he was a big hit on NYPD Blue, then left the show to further his "movie career". Guess that didn't work out much, eh Dave? (http://somethingclevershouldgohere.blogspot.com/2009/02/csi-suck.html)

David Caruso - ...a mere 5 percent...

2009-02-05T15:26:00.000-08:00

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso - a face only a mother could love!
Please allow us to present you with another example of America's new favorite leisure-time activity: blasting David Caruso! YEAHHHHHH:

“....this guy is a ham head ....What a laff! Monotone voice and one and 2 line scenes and you call him an actor.

Caruso in my opinion is a putz. CSI with Grissom is a show! You and your other 12 friends in here who like this boob, I aint tellin you not to but next time you see this tit turd hold a weapon, think about how stupid he looks. LOL ! I can picture the boob now, pistol raised, sunglasses on, head cocked at an angle...

It appears more to me that Caruso told THEM what HIS character was going to be and not vice versa.... David Caruso has been a no name actor for 40 years and always will be. Just because a handful of you like him doesnt mean hes an actor. Whenever a group of us talk TV actors, its usually a mere 5 percent of the crowd that can stand to even watch him watch him." ....(Dr. Tibbs)

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http://www.cbs.com/community/manage/userProfileHome.html?u=DrTibbs

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Quote of the day - "...for the rest of us, David Caruso represents the worst of the worst. Or, he may represent the future when we all give up TV. ..." (http://mdh1954.wordpress.com/2007/12/27/4-facts-1-opinion-and-too-much-information/)

David Caruso - Caruso's Favorite Fetish Reloaded

2009-02-04T08:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we introduced Bobby Finstock, founder/webmaster of Pointless Banter , and his hilariously funny post about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and his secret fetish. This article attracted so many readers - David Caruso fans and detractors alike - that we thought it deserves a follow-up.

Attached find the most noteworthy answers to the revelation of David Caruso's secret sexual fantasy:

*cigar smoking, beer drinking lawyer says:
*snatching sunglasses off* I always saw him as a Mrs. Buttersworth kinda dude. I hear Khandi got tired of having to say “I don’t know nothing about birthing no babies” after each of her scenes

*stan says:
listening to The Who’s “We Won’t Get Fooled Again”*
I hear Khandi got tired of being asked to change her name to “Florida”, only to have Caruso grab his sunglasses, clap his hands and shout “Dy-nomite*!”

*Robot Monkey says:
Oh yeah, “Jade” is da’ bomb! I mean, literally. I believe it bombed badly at the box office. It may be a bit of a misnomer to actually call it”da’ bomb” as that title might be rightly reserved for “Heaven’s Gate” or “Ishtar”. Um, David Caruso has been in shows that I never watch and movies I’ve never seen, so I don’t care.

*Trisha says:
My boyfriend has always had the hawts for Ms. Alexander. He loves the sistahs; don’t know how he ended up with someone as fish-belly white as me. Must be because I have really big boobs.
Whenever I think of David Caruso I want to start screaming “FIRECROTCH! FIRECROTCH!” like I have Tourettes. I would do it so much funnier than that sweaty steaming pile of Marley poop, Brandon Davis.
You know these are my favorite blogs.

*Tori says:
Firecrotch made me laugh harder than the actual post. Because EW. David Caruso is gross enough without thinking about his crotch, firey or otherwise

*Vince says:
They haven’t cancelled David Caruso’s crappy show yet?

*Darcie says:
David Caruso creeps me out.

*Vixen says:
Khandi Alexander left because she was tired of having to kiss David Caruso’s bony white arse every time thy had a scene together. And i can’t blame her.

*slackmistress says:
David Caruso looks like he’s made out of Play-Doh that was left out a little too long.

Thank you guys, you rock! Ridiculing Icon of Idiocy David Caruso has become a national sport! And we LOVE it!

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http://pointlessbanter.net/2009/02/03/why-did-khandi-alexander-leave-as-the-autopsy-expert-on-csi-miami-and-other-questions-answered/

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Quote of the day -"The Orange glow is special for David Caruso so you won't notice his bad acting and that annoying tilt of head plus the stupid smirk on his emotionless face." (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/10/les-moonves-csi-will-crus_n_150019.html?page=3&show_comment_id=18698304#comment_18698304)

David Caruso - Syrupy fetish

2009-02-03T11:05:00.000-08:00

Not surprisingly, people having a laugh or two at Icon of Idiocy Caruso's expense. Seriously people, who wouldn 't? Bobby Finstock, founder/webmaster of Pointless Banter did a great job with the following hilariously funny post:

Q: Why did Khandi Alexander leave as the autopsy expert on CSI: Miami?–Emma Freeman, Fort Worth, Tex.

A: Very good question. The easy answer is because she has a new show coming out on HBO but that isn’t the truth. It is really a little known fact that David Caruso has some very racist sexual fetishes. All I know is that I heard rumors about an Aunt Jemima outfit, syrup, a toaster, and his testicles. Far be it for me to judge but I wouldn’t blame her for leaving the show either, Caruso can’t be that attractive dressed as Aunt Jemima....

Does anyone actually like David Caruso?

NO, not really....

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http://pointlessbanter.net/2009/02/03/why-did-khandi-alexander-leave-as-the-autopsy-expert-on-csi-miami-and-other-questions-answered/

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Quote of the day - "CSI-Miami. David Caruso has been annoying since Day 1 and the shows showing his charater (lack of) development should have been taken out to the woodshed and been put out of our miserey long ago." (http://divbyzero.newsvine.com/_news/2008/10/26/2041613-canceled-without-pity-should-have-been-canceled )

David Caruso - Why people don't like CSI Miami

2009-02-01T15:51:00.000-08:00

Successful shows have many fathers: writers, directors, producers and last but not least the cast. However, those things are all being put into question when the lead of the show is such a ridiculously bad actor - like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso - that people rather poke out their eyes than watch the show:

....Speaking of David Caruso. God! Why!? What made the producers decide this guy should be cast as the lead character? Am I the only one that thinks this guy should quietly slink away into the Florida Everglades and be swallowed up whole by a hungry alligator?

What the hell is with the idiotic one liners?

Okay, I understand the cheezy one liners began with the likes of Stallone's Rambo character or Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movies, but good god damn, this is David Caruso. The tilting of his head, whipping off his Silhouette sunglasses and proclaiming to the smug, yuppie sailboat owner, that he knows raped and killed the 18 year old college student on spring break, "Oh, the DNA will put you there. Count on it." Then he gives that 'make-you-wanna-rip-my-spleen-out-with-a-spoon' grin before he stiffly walks away.
And I understand that there are writers that make this shit up, but even Stallone pulled it off better then David Caruso.. The point is, even with the written in one liners, David Caruso isn't a pimple on Stallones ass.
And, as far as I'm concerned, Clint was the only guy that could pull off the one liners. Spaghetti westerns, Dirty Harry. Now that guy was a stud in his day, and even now he could still pistol whip Caruso into oblivion with a good, "Go ahead, make my day!"
So Caruso, go away, and let someone that can actually act, that can step into the role and pull off the one liners, be the guy for a while....

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http://scuzzymoney.blogspot.com/2008/12/david-caruso-must-die.html

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Quote of the day - "Tess and I waited on David Caruso when I worked at the Pawn Shop. He really does talk like that guy on CSI... always like he's trying to have the last word, and that it has to be dramatic. Hah." (http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/roadto_mandalay/1840.html)

David Caruso - Spot David Caruso being a twat!

2009-01-31T09:09:00.000-08:00

We are well aware that there are countless Icon of Idiocy David Caruso Drinking Games out there. No real suprise here. Caruso's acting is so bad that some only can bear to watch it while being completely intoxicated.

A fellow blogger invented a new amusing form of the game. He calls it

'Spot David Caruso being a twat':

According to the autor it's very easy to play:
We have a laptop set up, with a spreadsheet open, and for each episode we watch, we keep a count of various David Caruso mannerisms:

"Manipulating sunglasses"
"Saying the same thing two or more times in row"
"Being a condescending bastard"
"Acting As Though He's A Jesus Figure"etc

He's still the same sickening overacting ham that he'd become, but it makes the show much more interesting; since the action on the screen is somewhat secondary to the ever-increasing scores. One episode (Season 1, episode four) was a record for 'condescending bastard' moments. We were at the end of Episode 5, when I casually mentioned the lack of his taking off his sunglasses, when not 10 seconds later, closeup and he's taking off his sunglasses, a palpable hit!

As our spreedsheet grows, we can track his performance history, do pivot tables and geeky sillyness to prove how bad Caruso is.
(Warning: I would make it a sipping game, rather than a shotglass event, unless you can afford multiple bottles of booze, and have a hankering for a little alcoholic poisoning ...)

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http://episteme.arstechnica.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/34709834/m/520007486931/inc/1
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Quote of the day - ....Suddenly, we are faced with watching a comically absurd David Caruso skulk around South Beach on "CSI Miami"..(http://media.www.gonzagabulletin.com/media/storage/paper375/news/2009/01/30/Entertainment/Network.Television.Passes.The.Crown.As.Premium.Cable.Gains.Popularity-3605935.shtml)

David Caruso - The butt of jokes

2009-01-30T08:55:00.001-08:00

Ridiculing Icon of Idiocy David Caruso never has been so much fun! Thanks to the unlimited talent of people who are willing to provide us with a much needed laugh or two. People who run blogs like Cartoon Penis and Barley Sarcasm deserve a honorary mentioning on our blog.
Keep it up guys!

The following are prime candidates for the "David Caruso Spoof Hall of Fame". We are sure, there are more to come. Let's face it - no one is more ridiculous than a fugly redhead with a pair of sunglasses and absolutely no talent....

I give up. TDC is ridiculous. You hear that Tiny David Caruso???? YOU ARE RIDICULOUS.

Another amazing moment ruined in an extremely selfish way by TDC.

Quote of the day - "Related fart: The Post Hot-Sauce aka David Caruso Fart, which has you going “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” as you put on your sunglasses and fart at the same time."(http://barelysarcasm.tumblr.com/post/72783427/top-5-farts)

David Caruso - No honks!

2009-01-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

A few days ago a fellow blogger posted an article with the interesting title:

"HONK IF DAVID CARUSO TURNS YOU ON!"

We decided to bookmark it , curious to see the outcome of this question. Today we checked in again and

S I L E N C E

No masses of juvenile fan-girls drolling over the fugly old wrinklehead. Not even nitwit dojo and the two imbeciles who read her non-sensical blog came to vote for their man.The only reactions the blogger got as "No, sorry, but no."

OUCH.

Understandable. By now, even the dumbest has realized what a complete loser Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is. Caruso's been called an idiot and a twit for so long it has become part of his name. Just mention Icon of Idiocy and people will recognize immediately WHO is meant.

Nobody likes idiots. Nobody finds idiots sexy. Especially if they are as fugly as David Caruso. Sorry old boy.

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http://annealtman.blogspot.com/2009/01/honk-if-david-caruso-turns-you-on.html

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Quote of the day - "....But we all know actor David Caruso and his ultra serious one liner delivery and crawling back to tv after a failed film career." (http://thatdangblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/csi-dont-know.html)

David Caruso - Sixty-Four-Dollar-Question

2009-01-28T08:49:00.000-08:00

Q: What happens when one puts together a couple of ridculously bad writers with a cast of nobodies and one washed-up movie-star?

A: CSI Miami !

Bad acting, bad directing, bad writing....

...Do I have to continue? I've been a CSI fan for a long time, starting with the original series, covering (reluctantly) CSI:Miami and on to CSI:NY. Thanks to some brilliant guest actors and turns in the plot of CSI: Crime Scene Investigators I've been able to forget the cheesyness of CSI: Miami for over a year.

THANK GOD!

I just watched an episode of CSI Miami and it's the worst crap I've seen in years. The characters have miserably failed to develop at all since the beginning of the show, realism factor is ridiculous and let's not mention David Caruso.

He was the worst casted actor in a cast of nobodies without talent and ambition that keeps on delivering nothing! This is like Days of our Life's with guns (why do they arrest people again?) Please shut this show to sleep forever and let's not mention it again... (BigCse)

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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313043/board/thread/128923475

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Quote of the day -"... but I'd have to say CSI: Miami. I cannot fucking stand David Caruso. He can diaf as far as I'm concerned. Ugh. I don't see why they made 3954394 spin offs anyway, since the original one was so good anyway...." (http://insane-pyro-grl.livejournal.com/61129.html)

David Caruso - Caruso's orgasm

2009-01-27T15:52:00.000-08:00

These are pictures from a recent CSI Miami-shooting in Pasadena, California. From the look of it Lizard Lady (Elizabeth Berkley) will return once again. We can't wait for the High Noon of bad acting: Icon of Idiocy David Caruso vs. Elizabeth Berkley. Now, THAT is acting brutality........

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(Click on pictures to enlarge!)
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Since Icon of idiocy David Caruso gets no love from the critics he hangs himself onto every fan that is avilable or has the bad luck to stumble upon him:
....A crew member told us that on one occasion when they were filming in Long Beach, a large tour bus filled with 75 German tourists pulled up, and got very excited that David Caruso was there. David stopped filming and proceeded to sign autographs and take pictures with each and every person on that bus!!! ...

We are sure the rest of the cast must have had the time of their lives waiting for diva Caruso to end this self-adulation/fan-adulation and go back to work.
@
Quote of the day - "Anyone that watches more than one episode of CSI:Miami notices the weird stance of David Caruso....He’s too lazy to go check it out himself, but will still get the credit for everything. A little ego check, please .." (http://zuzuernie.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/come-to-the-dark-side/)

David Caruso - Mutiny and Mutineers

2009-01-25T09:55:00.000-08:00

The discontent grows with every episode that airs. People are not only annoyed with the ridiculous antics of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso but also with CSI Miami as A WHOLE.

Be it the writing, the acting , the editing - the unanimous verdict is that it SUCKS BIG TIME:

....I have followed this program from its first episode, and have been gradually loosing interest in it as the plots became lamer and lamer, the logic and techniques used became more and more unbelievable, and the characters became less and less interesting. However, I have always found it to be quite disconcerting the people that they have purported to be examples of beauty, when they have never even been remotely close to attractive, but the plot was usually good enough to distract me from that irritant. That's no longer the case, and ow that it's the David Caruso/Horatio Hour, it's not worth my time.

I am disappointed.

I no longer can stomach Caruso's slanting his head and talking from the side! I thought maybe they would finally get smart and replace the actor/character with a person who can do more than stand and lean his head!!! Also, I watch a show for content not music and fancy camera shots!

Where are the plots?

There's a great video on Youtube that has put together a lot of Caruso's flip catch phrases. Some think it's a tribute to him, but it's actually showing how over the top and unnecessary his comments have become. I started watching the show from the beginning but soon tired of how Caruso was essentially being used as a pin-up boy for the viewers, rather than as a serious actor.

The best of the lot is Vegas. Sadly, they've lost Grissom, which leaves only NY as the most believable of the three and Miami almost a caricature of what true CSI is all about.... (willis991)

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http://www.cbs.com/forum/posts/list/18738.page

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Quote of the day - "I agree about David Caruso...he has never been as good on any show as he thinks he is...he is all about EGO..." (http://community.comcast.net/comcastportal/)

David Caruso - If you have got an itch...

2009-01-24T12:07:00.001-08:00

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso seems to inspire a lot of people. He inspires them to make fun of him! We are sure, no actor before him has been ridiculed so many times on so many levels. And all well deserved!

Some produce videos with his most cheesiest one-liners.

Some go on Talk-shows and make publicliy fun of the annoying acting clown.

Some create hilarious caricatures.

...and then there are some who create their own line of personal care products especially adapted to David Caruso......

When you think of an itchy, burning crotch... think David Caruso!

*************************

http://www.blogography.com/archives/2006/10/hygiene.html
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Quote of the day - "David Caruso isn't just a dick, he's a fugly dick. Why would I ever waste my time. Also, CSI: Miami could also be called, CSI: Even More Over the Top." (http://redhoneysky.livejournal.com/731.html)

David Caruso - Cuteness vs. Caruso

2009-01-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

Get out of the picture Caruso! I wanna see cuteness.

When we first stumpled upon this picture we had a good laugh. Then, after a few minutes, we pittied the cute kitty and the squirrel (?) in the picture. How anyone can put someone like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and innocent animals into one picture is beyond us. Sure, the animals are nice and a pleasure to look at , but David CARUSO? Phew, don't get me started on HIM.....

**************
http://realbadfriend.com/2009/01/22/damn-you-tiny-david-caruso/
**************

Quote of the day - "...I feel as if David Caruso and William Shatner were separated @ birth....well....an extended birth anyway..." (http://biteduringclass.livejournal.com/250965.html)

David Caruso - Polling P. Diddy and David Caruso!

2009-01-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

CSI Miami ratings have been going downhill since season 7 started.

If it is Icon of Idiocy David Caruso, the ape-shit writing , the editing or all things combined that is to blame - we can't tell. To stop that down-trend TPTB of CSI Miami hire high-profile guest stars. We applaud the efforet. However, if they have done themselves a favor by hiring Sean "P. Diddy" Combs remains to be seen. After all, his ego is just as big as David Caruso's.

A few months ago a poll was set up. Asking who is worse: Icon of Idiocy David Caruso or P. Diddy? This poll now is closed. We like to present you with the results:

Question: P. Diddy vs. David Caruso. Who is the WORSE actor?

http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/19/results/P+Diddy+vs+David+Caruso+WORSE+actor

Poll opened: Nov 20, 2008

Poll closed: Jan 20, 2009

Votes: 15

Results:

David Caruso 33%

P. Diddy 27%

BOTH are terrible! 40%

Great choice! As always, we agree with our readers/fans/visitors. Neither Caruso nor P. Diddy should work on TV. EVER.

Quote of the day - "Watching CSI: Miami tonight. Damn, time has not been good to David Caruso." (http://writenwrong.livejournal.com/64309.html)

David Caruso - He gets PAID MONEY for this?

2009-01-19T14:03:00.000-08:00

Sometimes there are no words to describe the ridculousness that is Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. More often than not people are so shell-shocked after watching an episode on CSI Miami that they are reduced to uttering the same - albeit LEGIT - questions over and over again:

I've only watched 1 episode of CSI and it was the Miami one.I couldn't even get through it. I hated it.
But why?
Why did I hate it?
Oh, yea, this is why: David Caruso!
I watched the whole thing.
I laughed.
I cried.
I got angry.
I laughed again.
People watch this crap?
People write this crap?
Again, people watch this crap!!?!?!?!?!?
PEOPLE GET PAID MONEY FOR THIS CRAP!??!!?!?
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http://whatelseishappening.blogspot.com/2007/01/david-caruso.html
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Quote of the day -" ....and then she came back briefly on “CSI:Miami” before that scrawny prick David Caruso and his sunglasses got her kicked off the show.." (http://stonelight.wordpress.com/2008/11/29/kim-delaney/)

David Caruso - Hilarious Caruso picture story!

2009-01-18T18:51:00.000-08:00

"Boring them senseless, no doubt. Fuck, he looks bored himself - no mirror handy to check himself out in?"

"Wow - 2 big-tittied girls - for me?"

"Alright, girls. Get in back and pull your kimonos down...I'm gonna show you what a big American dick looks like!"

"....yeah, yeah, I see it, don't pitch a fit - it'll wash out in cold water."

*************

Many people hate/despise Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. That is a FACT.

Some people react by changing the channel everytime the ugly twat appears on the screen. Some write blogs about how horrendous David Caruso is. And some express their utter disgust in a picture story. Above you can see such a picture story. It is titled "David Caruso - MANWHORE" (VERY FITTING TITLE WE THINK!!!) It is so hilariously funny that we can't help but plagiarize it. We hope "PICKELS" will forgive us...Thank you for the good laugh!

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http://carusothemanwhore.blogspot.com/2007/12/cheese-dick-in-japan-david-caruso.html

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Quote of the day - "...David Caruso...he's terrible, not a single good acting bone in his body..."

(http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/82282-week-12-toasts-lets-get-toasty)

David Caruso - Ginger bottom feeder

2009-01-18T16:15:00.000-08:00

Observation of the week:

...Does anybody else think that the guy from CSI Miami (apparently his name is David Caruso ) is a little too orange? I don't know if it is the bad color settings of my TV but that guy always reminds of an apricot. Just had to express the thought.....

Nicely put. LOL
And you are right, of course. But to us Icon of Idiocy David Caruso appears more like a boiled shrimp. An ugly pink/orange bottom feeding shrimp.....
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http://kashmora.blogspot.com/2008/10/quiescence.html
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Quote of the day - "...Here's to you David Caruso, may your terrible acting stay on TV forever, so that we all know that anything is possible..."(http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/82282-week-12-toasts-lets-get-toasty )

David Caruso - Play it again, Sam!

2009-01-17T20:16:00.000-08:00

As a blogger one comes across surveys almost daily. One of them is especially funny and thus "played" by countless people. It contains of 55 funny questions . ONE question one will find in EVERY SURVEY is:

"Can you give one reason why David Caruso is allowed to keep acting?"
Interesting to say at least.

Why does Icon of Idiocy David Caruso of all people pop up in a fun-game like that? We guess, Caruso’s many career-fuck ups have made him subject for countless jokes. Caruso is a parody of a satire of a stereotype of himself as HoCaine, not so much speaking his dialogue as letting it escape.
We visited a few blogs and collected twentyof the most popular answers to the above question:

* who is that
* I don’t even know who that is.
* What a stupid question.
* WHO!
* Not really - I don’t watch anything he’s in
* The real question is, -takes off sunglasses in epic manner- Why is the sky always orange?
* "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
* Redheads run the Jews who run the media.
* he is such a drag! so predictable, we hate him
* i dont care
* NO. GAHH SOMEONE PLEASE REMOVE HIM.
* no clue
* Not really
* eh
* He has an ugly white ass.
* Who else would be willing to play a character called "Horatio Caine"?
* Do I even know who he is?
* Because someone is paying him to
* I dunno
* I have no idea why, can't fucking stand him

Quote of the day - "When CSI spun off CSI: Miami....I checked it out, but quickly dismissed it. David Caruso is just AWFUL . David Caruso can sod off though, ginger black-shirt-wearing mopemeister...."
(http://itzrandysworld.blogspot.com/2009/01/csiny.html)

David Caruso - Touchdown!

2009-01-15T15:26:00.000-08:00

Good bless naive people!
The following is a rant by an Icon of Idiocy David Caruso-fan over at the CSI Miami Community Message Board. We don't know what "shadownglass" has been smoking. But it must be really bad shit. Better quit, Dude, before it is too late.
However, we couldn't help but to comment on the fans' verbal (drug-induced?) dysentry :

....Is there anyone among you, that can see what a great artist David Caruso is ?

Great artist? NO!!!

...David Caruso has the gift to move adult men to tears. The ladies on this board love him, want him, would love to get there hands on him. You have to be a really blessed and gifted artist to move adult men and women to such strong emotions....

People are moved to tears because Caruso's acting is SOOOO BAD. Legend has it, that some TV-viewers even poked their eyes out after having to watch the redheaded dork for more than 5 minutes!

....David Caruso is absolutely in his prime right now. The man is an artist, he loves his work. He is well aware of the power he has over an audience....

You are right. Caruso is well aware of his power to make people vomit.

....Get him the right part, the right story, the right character, finally pay him what he wants....

50 cent is the most that talentless hack deserves. Everything above that would be plain ridiculous.

.....How about casting DC in a War Movie, WWI, WWII, Korean, Nam even the Civil War for that matter. Next pictcure DC in a big budget western like 3:10 to Yuma, High Noon, Unforgiven or even Tombstone. Can you imagine DC with Sam Colt strapped to his side and perfect bad boy, hero western duds ? ....

Hahahaha...you can't be serious. Caruso would sink those movies the way he sunk ALL the movies he was in.

....Don't wait, you need to act now. Get this man the proper backing, promotion, funding (Big Budget) for a major motion picture starring DC. The CSI Miami fans alone would insure a profit, my guess is, it would be a block buster hit.

David Caruso couldn't turn any movie a blockbuster - even if his life depeneded on it. He is poison . And every director and producer in LA KNOWS that.

......DC will make that someone a very rich Man, or Woman.

Yes, the bartender at his favorite brothel/Whiskey joint...
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http://www.cbs.com/forum/posts/list/29997.page
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Quote of the day - "CSI: Caruso-frisson = SCIENCE WINS BUT OH NO HERE IS LUCIFER'S SMIRKING CUMBUBBLE ...."
(http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=9730 )

David Caruso - A Ginger and his delusions

2009-01-14T15:07:00.001-08:00

(Click on pictures to enlarge!)

"Like any great narcissist, he (Caruso) assumes parodies of his soul-deadening scenery chewing to be flattery ..". (http://uglycreatures.blogspot.com/2009/01/david-caruso-extra-strength-diet-coke.html)

Hear, hear! A truer word was never spoken.

However, we think, we should let Icon of Idiocy David Caruso wallow in his deluisons. After all, there isn't much going on for the ugly ginger loser outside of CSI Miami. The above comics are true classics of Caruso parodies/spoofs. Two out of many...

Flattery? Hardly. More well deserved ridicule...
*

Quote of the day - ...trademark this before David Caruso pantomimes it into his next pained expression/sunglass removal/dramatic pause.. (http://www.thehoulywoodreporter.com/2008/04/i-guess-its-safe-to-assume-gary.html)

David Caruso - TV's sappy smug twat

2009-01-14T09:07:00.001-08:00

We stumble across them daily. They pop up on our feed like mushrooms after a heavy rain. They are just too good to ignore: Icon of Idiocy David Caruso bashers and their funny posts.
Welcome to the club!
Legions of annoyed TV-viewers - even nitwit dojo is a regular here ! Time to come out of the closet, sweet cheeks !- join us daily in our noble quest of highlighting the twattishness of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso

Care for an example?

David Caruso?!

Blech! Bleah! Pwtui!

Flabby-faced, bloated nose, dew=lapped eyes, pre-cancerous skin, faux world-weary slouch... should I go on?
David Caruso - You call him an actor??!!
Horrible, Horrible, Horrible
He is flat like last years champagne. Caruso has one talent: He knows how to pose. Dorky, not cool.
He also needs to remember when to use sunglasses..... outdoors, not inside. Caruso doesn't know how to act - he's trying to having a cool-something attitude but in the end we just see some smug twat on TV..

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http://www.tv.com/david-caruso/person/1638/reviews.html&pg_rev=0

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Quote of the day - "I was going to post a picture David Caruso keeps of Senator Vitter, but for some reason Mister Caruso’s picture of Davey Diaper has a hole cut where the mouth should be." (http://humidcity.com/2008/06/28/larry-craig-and-david-vitter-guardians-of-marriage/)

David Caruso - Tang head and rubber chicken

2009-01-13T13:40:00.000-08:00

Tired of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's constant fidgeting with his sunglasses? We think, it is high time for a new prop:

...Due to tang head David Caruso’s lack of acting skills. I’d actually like to reach into the tv & rip those sunglasses right off his face. The rest of the cast does a fabulous job & I don’t want to take jabs at them. However, the monotone voice of Caruso ruins the show for me. Drives me crazy.

Caruso is basically still playing the character that was his at the start of “NYPD Blue”. His character does have some range, all the way from point A to point B. His character captures one emotion: Perpetual anger.

He adjusts this anger by taking his sunglasses off or by putting them back on.

Sunglasses off? He’s about to explode.

Sunglasses back on? Explosion averted.

It’s back to cruise-control anger. He could use a new prop. I suggest a rubber chicken.Let’s see if he can maintain his perpetual anger holding one of those! Now, THAT would be acting...

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http://redravine.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/assassins-bullet-kills-kennedy-where-were-you/

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Quote of the day - "Craig Ferguson, who does the Late Late Show on CBS cracks me up! The other night he said "you can't hide behind those sunglasses, David Caruso, you ginger bitch!" LOL indeed!" (http://tjdenver.livejournal.com/1197.html)

David Caruso - Extra Strength Diet Coke Douche

2009-01-11T15:36:00.000-08:00

There aren't many occasions when Icon of Idiocy David Caruso wins an award or gets nominated. Recently, on a website for men interested in men, the red menace was voted/nominated King of all Douchebags.
Finally, an award for the ugly readhead! Oh my, Dave, old boy, aren't you proud??? :

1. David Caruso: Extra Strength Diet Coke Douche
In theory, being a douche is a state of self for men that should be outgrown. For terrifying redhead David Caruso, being Supreme Douche above all others was a life goal he grew into.
Legend has it that his birth was the result of a three-minute union between a spooge mop and a popper-mad Howdy Doody puppet on the floor of the TomKat theater.
Against all odds, he ascended from working actor to incomprehensible sex symbol on NYPD before — in what’s universally classified as the second dumbest career move ever made in Hollywood — quitting the series to pursue big screen success in the form of thrill-less action movies and action-free erotic thrillers. By the time he managed to crawl back to TV Land, it was a barely-kept industry secret that he’d offer up any or all of his orifices to be crammed bareback by any exec who could get him a gig as corpse on Law & Order.
Somehow landing a key role at the helm of the first of eighty CSI spin-offs didn’t humble David, though. When he isn’t bullying directors and driving out co-stars, he’s know to demand a constant supply of Diet Coke (termed his “acting juice”) to fuel his performances.
David doesn’t so much act as he does bask in his own brilliance that’s imperceptible to every other form of life. His style involves … saying … every … single … fucking… line in an identical halting rasp while he puts his hands on his hips and takes off his sunglasses as if he’s parting the Red Sea. Like any great narcissist, he assumes parodies of his soul-deadening scenery chewing to be flattery and the Peoples Temple-style cult who believes him to be genius … or perhaps even God won’t have their faith shaken. Who are we to argue?
Until a shrewd backstabber pushes him down the stairs, La Caruso snatches the tiara as Queen of the Nozzle Heads....

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso showered n' deflowered? MAYBE : http://www.blinditemsexposed.com/search/label/David%20Caruso
*************
(http://www.nightcharm.com/2008/06/27/that-not-so-fresh-feeling-douchebags-on-parade/).
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Quote of the day - "...David Caruso. I would proceed to announce to the first five that dinner will only be served once they had beaten up, tortured and mutilated the ginger twunt.I would then sit back and enjoy the spectacle. ....This guy deserves it. "(http://thebluebottlefeastery.blogspot.com/).

David Caruso - Knock, Knock!

2009-01-10T11:04:00.000-08:00

A true classic and therefor an absolute MUST for our blog!

" Knock! Knock!"

" Who's there? "

"Spell."

"Spell, who?"

" W-H-O"

From the pen of one of our readers:

....I hate Icon of Idiocy David Caruso (Who doesn't????)
He'll only ever be able to play a cop. That's it. The range. ZERO.
I need directions to the nearest 12-Step group for.... Red hair o'phobes! I admit I never liked the way he looked because of his red hair!
Screw the secrets of the universe - for years philosphers... will be asking how the most humiliatingly bad actor that ever lived could star in a hit TV series...

**************
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6828193#6831709

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Quote of the day - "Caruso WISHES he had Peterson's success....." (http://www.tvguide.com/News/CSIs-William-PetersenWont-1001361.aspx#BLKcommentCount)

David Caruso - Interpreter needed!

2009-01-09T13:37:00.000-08:00

Many people are speechless when faced with the smell-the-fart acting of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. There are simply no words when it comes to describe the acting-atrocity that is TV's biggest douchebag.

However, the fact that even his fans - the few he has left - are at a loss for words when faced with their favorite object of desire is new for us.

Recently, one of those poor misguided creatures dropped the following non-sensical blurb on a David Caruso fan-board :

Anonymous said...
(sic) Shy side! Shy side!???? My chin may drop to the floor and my muscles may contract more than occasionally but lol, shy side, not today. Very nice! (January 8, 2009 3:29 PM)

For the life of us we can't imagine what the commenter is trying to say. Sounds kind of brain-fried. No matter how often we read and re-read it we always came up empty. Maybe he/she was about to type/say:

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's acting is so bad that my chin drops to the floor.
David Caruso's uglyness makes my muscles contract more than occasionally.
My brain is so fried because I drool over that ginger wingnut 24/7.
David Caruso! I desperately need to poke out his image of my minds eye....

Everything is possible, we guess. After all, we are not fluent in Caruso-fan-gibberish..

Quote of the day - "For some reason David Caruso and his weird acting style zonks me right out." (http://chaoticallycalm.blogspot.com/2009/01/jumping-back-into-swing-of-things.html)

David Caruso - The beauty and the beast

2009-01-08T00:59:00.000-08:00

Normally we wouldn't put the picture of attractive Katie Couric and wrinkly old fugtard Icon of Idiocy David Caruso in one post.
However, since both share the same birthday we thought it would be a good opportunity to show how attractive 52 years of age and how unattractive/ugly/wrinkly 53 years of age can look. What a difference a healtyh, happy life can make. Caruso's many failures are deeply etched into his face.

Couric is the anchor for CBS Evening News and while David Caruso is the most annoying and untalented douchebag that ever "graced" the TV-screen. The only reason to watch CSI: Miami is the faint hope that one day we’ll get to see him accidentally poking out one of his eyes while putting on his sun glasses...LOL
*
Picture: http://origin.www.scandalist.com/2009-01-07/birth-dating-whos-older-katie-couric-or-david-caruso/
*
Quote of the day - ..It’s not a half bad show if you keep a sharp object nearby to jab yourself with when David Caruso turns sideways and says something dramatically retarded...(http://www.highdefforum.com/high-definition-programming/87098-same-show-two-networks-noticeable-differences.html)

David Caruso - David Caruso? Eww, no thanks!

2009-01-06T20:57:00.000-08:00

Not surprisingly, the conception that CSI Miami/Icon of idiocy David Caruso may be heading for another possible cross-over with CSI makes a lot of viewers gag. We think, nobody working on the other two shows of the franchise should be forced to work with a non-talent like fugtard David Caruso.
The following are the most noteworthy comments re: a possible crossover:

bleh Tue, Jan 6, 2009, 3:02 PM
.....anything to give caruso less screentime. maybe langston can show up to solve the murder of horatio. LOL
@
Sussy Tue, Jan 6, 2009, 3:34 PM
....If Laurence Fishburn is scene-stealing, will he counteract the fact that David Caruso barely sleepwalks through his lines?
@
andronika Tue, Jan 6, 2009, 3:41 PM
.....Eww no. An actor of Laurence Fishburne's caliber should not be forced into the vicinity of David Caruso's abysmal performance, IMHO. Ever wonder why Billy Petersen was so against the spin-offs and the crossover with Miami? Thank God he never had to share a screen with that sunglass-toting pathetic excuse for an actor...
@
JWheaton Tue, Jan 6, 2009, 3:53 PM
.....Hah! Yeah, I agree with Sussy. Too bad they didn't create Fishburne's character to replace Caruso. I stopped watching CSI: Miami because Caruso's character is so lame!...
@
cajunr Tue, Jan 6, 2009, 4:20 PM
...I would like to see anyone replace Caruso, he is weird on CSI. Would keep my kids away from Horatio. St. Petersen will be missed...
@
Sigh Tue, Jan 6, 2009, 4:43 PM
...I can't stand Caruso either. Let's get him over to CSI: NY with the better looking and more talented cast...

Do we really need to say more? Icon of idiocy David Caruso? Eww no, thanks..

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http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b77657_csi_laurence_fishburne_headed_miami.html
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Quote of the day - "I'm just wary of watching anything with David Caruso as he just drives me bat**** insane on CSI: Miami...I'm not a fan of his work." (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=604741 )

David Caruso - Something about David Caruso...

2009-01-06T15:50:00.000-08:00

Every day we find countless new bloggers who express their growing dissatisfaction with CSI Miami and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. We never bothered to look up the actual numbers, but we guess it must be legions of annoyed peope who want nothing more than see fugtard Caruso booted off the TV screen!
Let's support them in their worthy cause:

......No, you didn't ask for it, but as I sit here after another lackluster "Do I really give a crap?"-episode of CSI Miami. I think it's time I let the world know exactly how I feel about your primetime-hogging inflated campaign to rule the world in forensic TV drama.
Hello CSI-by-the-sea.

Oh look, David Caruso is either removing or donning his sunglasses while spouting something short and smart with his quiet, sturdy I'm-in-charge voice. How yesterday. Actually, how every-episode of him. This series used to have flash, now it's dull like my mother's knife set. I think you ended last season with a cliff-hanger, and I think you wrapped it up when you premiered last month...but to be honest I neither

A) remember nor

B) care to figure it out.

Is it the actors? Maybe. I'm too bored to bottom-line it for you; I can tell you we're about to gain an hour of space when we delete you from our DVR. *sunglasses off*
Something about David Caruso makes me want to beat him in the face with a claw hammer....

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http://thoughtsat34.blogspot.com/2008/10/dear-csi.html
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Quote of the day - "I am WITH you on David Caruso. His dramatic lack of emotion is just unbearable." (http://twitstat.com/cgi-bin/view.pl?search=ramat)

David Caruso - Smackdown!

2009-01-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

The recent smackdown between Sharon Osbourne and Megan Hauserman has all the ingredients to become a Reality-TV-classic: two women who like nothing more than to promote themselves and a verbal catfight that quickly turned into a physical smackdown...Wooszerz!

Just imagine you are on a TV-show and the sight of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso makes you GAG. What would you say to the old shitbag that would make him get into your face? (We assume it doesn't need much baiting to make him lose it.)
A fellow blogger had the following suggestion:

...FUCK you if you watch CSI:Miami. And a special FUCK YOU to that uber douce David Caruso. Are we supposed to believe that he is some kind of bad ass?He has tried to run the same gimmick since NYPD Blue. Howdy Doody is not going to kick any ass and he certainly does not have the acting skills to make me think that he could.....(by beachbum http://davenjerry.com/showthread.php?p=149246).

Bingo! In our minds eye we already can see Icon of Idiocy David Caruso leap at you...LOL
@
Quote of the day - "Warning: Don't try the game with these videos. These contain concentrated amounts of Caruso that could be lethal if used in the drinking game." (http://blogs.mysanantonio.com/weblogs/atlarge/2007/02/updated-reroute-a-marshmallow.html )
@

MTV Shows

David Caruso - Have sunglasses, will travel!

2009-01-04T16:13:00.000-08:00

David Caruso thinks he's God
but he's not :gagh:
Nothing's changed since his 5 minutes on NYPD Blue.
I could tell he was a twat as soon as he appeared in first blood.
To me intense does not equate to good acting.
Hes not exactly got a wide range.
I bet he's got a wide anus though.
At least he should, his head is up it most days.
He's always, always. been a cocky ass.
One - The Main Reason - I don't watch anything he is in.

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http://www.trollkingdom.net/forum/showthread.php?t=30318

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Quote of the day - "David Caruso + P. Diddy = brains all over the country melting from the epic!fail overload." (http://scullyseviltwin.livejournal.com/tag/dexter)

David Caruso - Hidden Penis

2009-01-03T13:26:00.000-08:00

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's mummification seems to be in full swing. Everytime he "graces" the TV-screen he seems to have aged another 30 years.

Naturally, that hasn't gone unnoticed by a lot of TV-viewers. The following comment by a fellow blogger clearly takes the cake:

"....Every time I see this man I have to wonder what exactly he's doing to kill himself. My first thought is booze but I'm killing myself with that stuff and I'm not deteriorating nearly as fast as he is. It's got to be something way stronger, some kind of inhaled cleansing agent perhaps..." (Dyno)

LOL!

******

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=343623

******

Quote of the day - "... I dont know, CSI Miami to me is much worst than NY. David Caruso is the suck. Caruso ducks his head like a vulture.. (http://forums.scout.com/mb.aspx?S=188&F=1650&T=3690906&P=1)

David Caruso - Family matters

2009-01-02T10:03:00.001-08:00

The Internet is full of entertaining and strange things. Sometimes, those blurbs are just a mouse-click away - waiting to be brought to light. The following was found while on a search for articles that would qualifiy for our blog:

"...looking for family

im looking for david caruso and katie holmes im related to them...(italiacaruso) "

http://www.whosdatedwho.com/predict/prediction_view.asp?ID=933

Ahem, yes.....A few questions/considerations:

If you are really related to Icon of Idiocy David Caruso - YUCK - why would you publicly admit to it? Lovely Katie Holmes understandable. Who wouldn't want to call her aunt or cousin? But obnoxious, ugly, old fart David Caruso???? Couldn't you find someone BETTER?

We know a lot of people who would rather drop dead than being connected/related to someone like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso .

Last but not least, why don't you just google them and see what you can find out......LOL

Quote of the day - "CSI (Vegas, ONLY. Fuck David Caruso.)" (http://tvismyboyfriend.blogspot.com/2008/12/lessons-of-holidays.html)

David Caruso - Playing to a different tune

2009-01-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

Whom does Icon of Idiocy David Caruso love more than anything else?

Who always comes first where Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is concerned?

Whom will Icon of Idiocy David Caruso nevet let down?

Whom will Icon of Idiocy David Caruso never walk out on?

Who does Icon of Idiocy David Caruso always put front and center where CSI Miami is concerned?

Ladies and Gents, if you have answered the above questions five times with "HIMSELF" you have won!

What?

Well, the realization that Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is a huge egomaniac. And that in itself is priceless...

Quote of the day -"The only reason that I watch CSI Miami is to see David Caruso's absolutely horrendous acting abilities. He makes the show a comedy with his over the top drama." (http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-entertainment/141504-favorite-ross-rachel-esque-pairing.html)

(Click on image to enlarge!)

David Caruso - Book 'em Danno!

2008-12-31T10:45:00.000-08:00

We are always on the lookout for the perfect comment about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. We are always on the lookout for fellow bloggers who don't mince their words when it comes to certain things. People who openly express their opinions, like we do.

The following comment is very interesting. The blogger admits that he likes to watch CSI Miami - nothing wrong with that - and that he wishes to be like David Caruso (ahem....well...okay) but with a HUGE BUT:

....I'm watching CSI: Miami and wishing I was David Caruso... but handsomer and more effeminate, minus dumping my pregnant girlfriend.

How would you feel if I looked like David Caruso?

How would you feel if I acted like him... every day?...

We are sure all people around you would be ABHORRED. Nobody wants to look like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso left alone act as weird. Whoever you are we are sure you are WAY BETTER than the sorry excuse of a human being that is David Caruso. LOL

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http://racktit.blogspot.com/2008/12/haha.html

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Quote of the day - "...I just haven't been able to get into Miami, though - for some reason David Caruso bothers me. I've always thought that his acting is like William Shatner's, without being funny..." (http://mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=202891)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

David Caruso - A case study

2008-12-30T10:03:00.000-08:00

Click on drawing to enlarge!

Believe it or not people, but someone really took the time to sum up the utter ridiculousness that Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is in a diagram.

Good work! We like it!

Note the discrepancy in effort Caruso puts into things like quality acting - which ALWAYS should come first if one wants to call himself an actor - and the amount of screen-time time used for posing, props - We are sure Caruso would be lost without them- ridiculous mannersms etc.

The smaller the talent/charisma the more one has to rely on the above.

Persona is a living, breathing entity. That means it needs to be taken care of every few hours. Otherwise it withers. Think David Caruso who seems to have not been fine-tuning or even daring to overhaul his persona for changing times and more competition in the crime-program TV space. ...

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http://careertransitions.typepad.com/career_transitions/2008/12/mystique-persona-still-counts-a-lot.html

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Quote of the day - "If it features the voice of David Caruso, I will burn every copy of it.WITH MY MIND." (http://www.joystiq.com/2007/12/19/mtvs-next-big-thing-bruckheimer-teams-up-for-game-studio/)

David Caruso - David Caruso vs Emily Procter II

2008-12-29T09:36:00.000-08:00

It didn't come unexpected.

Everyone who has followed Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's "path" over the years knows that it was just as matter of time until it would be back again: David Caruso's famed bad (DIVA) behavior.

It is like an illness you are born with. You can hide it, pretend to have overcome it - but at one point it will show up again.

David Caruso's latest victim: lovely co-star Emily Procter.

They say there is a huge rift between the uncharismatic lead and the Southern beauty - mostly due to David Caruso's overbearing attitude.

Watching the last few episodes of CSI Miami the one od other may have noticed that the scenes between David Caruso/Emily Procter have become a rarity. And if they have one or the other alibi-scene together it is a far cry from the ones we have seen in earlier seasons.

A poll was set up to ask readers/fans/friends about what they think could have caused the open dislike between Caruso and Procter. Now the poll has closed and we are happy to present the revealing results. Of course, there was never a doubt among those people and us who the culprit in this case is:

Title: Obviously, Emily Procter is mightely pissed at David Caruso. Could this be because of...

http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/16/results/Obviously+Emily+Procter+mightely+pissed+David

Poll opened: Oct. 28, 2008

Poll closed: Dec. 28, 2008

Votes: 21

Results:

...Caruso's-smell-the-fart-acting? 33%

...Caruso's well-known temper-tantrums? 33 %

...Caruso's urge to be the center of attention 24/7? 33%

Thank you, folks! We think the results are perfect. There is a good possibility that it was all three things combined that caused Caruso and Procter to be friends no more. We pity everyone who has to work with someone like Caruso.

Links:

http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2008/10/blind-item-hot.html

http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/10/david-caruso-guess-who-is-at-it-again.html

Quote of the day - "One thing misleading about the ratings is that people don’t have CSI parties Except David Caruso’s family, who’s thrilled he still has a show...." (http://thebiglead.com/?p=6065)

David Caruso - David Caruso gets to the point

2008-12-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

Finally! Icon of Idiocy David Caruso admits to what many people have known all along.
Finally! Icon of Idiocy David Caruso comes clear about his acting-skills or the lack thereof. It is the moment legions of TV viewers have been waiting for.... (See picture above!)

We appreciate your openness, old boy. Knowing a thing or two about your over-inflated ego we applaud the effort. Really.

However, we doubt there is anyone out there who didn't know that before. Hardly anyone missed the fact that you are an untalented and uncharismatic son of a bitch the moment you presented your ugly careworn mug on CSI Miami.

We sincerely hope you draw the necessary consequences and spare us TV-viewers the harrowing experience of having to watch you act.

Thank you!

Quote of the day - ...I'd pit William Petersen against David Caruso, for starters. You just know Gil would be sneaky, and he'd get in a few good hits while Caruso was slowwwwly taking off/putting on his shades and 'smelling the fart'. ....(http://www.pajiba.com/enter-the-pajibasaur.htm)

David Caruso - Menage a trois

2008-12-28T09:18:00.000-08:00

First and foremost - we think this is absolutely hilarious. Two Icon of Idiocy David Caruso-fans at each other throats. Curtain up!

The pivotal issue : one fan published a magzine of poor quality and content.

(http://uglycreatures.blogspot.com/2008/12/david-caruso-red-special-christmas.html) Amateurish work at its worst. Second fan dares to cricticize author of said magazine. Author goes completely bananas and attacks critical fans. Looks like David Caruso fans - the few the douche has left - can't deal with criticism.

TV couldn't be better!!

As a conlcusion to this never ending story (until the next issue) we like to copy and paste the comment of said critical fan. The comment that had the author spreading her verbal dysentry all over the place. We haven't corrected spelling/grammar-errors since we think those things are secondary at best. What really counts is the content:

"I am afraid if this mag of yours is the best you can come up with, then I think you should have either stuck with the other one OR stuck to being a reader. sorry but this 'Red' is not worthy of anything and is no Christmas present . The writing is bad, and I have been chatting with other people and they cannot believe the amateurish product it is and bad spelling in RED.

Again one professional mag is out, and one very bad mag is out too. And finally,you claim to have people who are professional writers etc. God help them then with the style and grammar of 'RED'.

Btw that is not just me saying that as I have shown the ..copy of RED to professional people, they would NOT even look any further than the first two pages.

As for the ..well you cannot even class it as amateur..project, the layout is terrible and as for the spelling mistakes and grammar well...If that is the level of intelligence Ms Malone is aiming for her in her readership I think her readers ought to be asking does she consider them of low intelligence?

I have also read RED, to compare, and to say I have been told it is written by PROFESSIONAL writers then that worries me as the level of grammar is disgusting and not worthy of even being called 'Amateur'. The layout is bland and even though it is several pages long, the actual number of stuff that is in the current issue is actually around 3 or 4 spread out over several pages. Don't know about being called RED it should be called Crap!"...(Sam, http://www.david-caruso-online.com/guestbook.htm )

Ain't it sweet?

The long and short of it: Obviously RED - no matter what issue - is a complete waste of time. Something only morons would like. But then, people who like David Caruso are morons......just like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso himself. LOL.

Quote of the day - "....and any CSI that doesn’t involve David Caruso is good too."

(http://mmamania.com/2007/11/30/ufc-80-rapid-fire-to-air-on-cbs-network-not-ppv/)

David Caruso - Ugly trash the world doesn't need!

2008-12-27T11:32:00.000-08:00

The world is full of ugly things - animals, people, clothing items and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso.
David Caruso - a creature devoid of any qualities, manners and sense of style. After all, what self-respecting male in his late Fifties would wear a fugly Walmart-shirt like that? (See picture to the right!)

Obviously, David Caruso inspired some people outside of CBS to make a buck or two . CSI merchandise is inconspicuous and suitable for every day wear (http://www.chasingthefrog.com/csi-t-shirts.php.).CSI Miami merchandise on the other hand - which consists mainly of David Caruso's wrinkled careworn mug printed on everything possible - gives the term ugly trash a whole new meaning. According to our sources the T-shirt sells for twenty-five bucks. Phew....

Since it is a known fact that David Caruso collects everything with his image on it it is just as matter of time until the dork will be photographed wearing the above atrocity. We can't wait...trash never seems to get out of style....one just has to look at David Caruso!
@
Quote of the day - "....Focus on the real no talent hacks out there like David Caruso..."
(http://boards.msn.com/TVboards/thread.aspx?threadid=825094&boardsparam=Page%3d70)

David Caruso - Seperated at birth?

2008-12-26T11:22:00.001-08:00

David Caruso's latest bed-bunny, tart Amina Islam, is more or less a careerless , dumb individual. From background extra without credits to sperm-receptacle and candle-stickholder for a badly aging D-list actor. Remains the question who upgraded/downgraded here? Who could have done way better if he/she had more brains?
Last time the tart was seen out in public she polished the tires of Caruso's Explorer. Ain't it nice to have your own personal Girl Friday, Dave?(http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/11/david-caruso-baby-you-can-polish-my.html)

Some time ago, we did a little research on the Internet. For long lost relatives, past projects - in short anything that would show us that there is more to this bimbo than meets the eye. Needless to say that we came up empty.
Until yesterday, that is....
Look at the pictures ....doesn't fashion-queen Donatella Versace look like the long lost twin-sister of tart Amina Islam? From the bimbos' blonde streaks to Donatellas' head fulll of bleached hair. The face, the figure...we think the resemblance is striking...LOL!!
@
Quote of the day -" The only other show that is worse on network TV is CSI: Miami! I've really tried watching "CSI: Miami" but I just can't do it. I just can't deal with David Caruso..." (http://www.411mania.com/movies/columns/86506/What?!!-This-Column!??-9.30.08:-Issue-)

David Caruso - RED Special Christmas Trash

2008-12-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

There are many things the world really doesn't need: war, diseases, another movie/show with Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and the latest issue of RED titled "Special Christmas Issue" YUCK.

RED remember???

The pre-adolescent fangirl-magazine devoted to Icon of Idiocy David Caruso with the high tendency to bore the Internet-world out of its mind with lame stories, fanfiction a pre-schooler could have written and very silly games.
We understand that not everyone is able to produce a juicy, interesting and glossy magazine that satisfys every need. However, things take a turn for the worse if the author is a fan of Icon of Idocy David Caruso. Said fan likes to neglect things that have David Caruso appear in a not so favorable light.
After the first pointless issue - which didn't convince us in the least - we thought we should give it another chance. However, after going through the second equally dull issue we have come to the conlusion that whatever talents the author may have - it clearly is NOT writing.

In summary: only for die-hard fans. If you are looking for real information, juicy details and reading material grown-up people might be interested in you are well- advised to look elsewhere.

Quote of the day - "..Now all I think of when I hear that song is that @sshole David Caruso...."
(http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7922572)

David Caruso - Bad actor in a bad role in a bad show

2008-12-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

Seldomly have we come across such a dead-on comment like the following. It sums up nicley everything that is so wrong with CSI Miami and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso:

....CSI Miami - The acting is horrible and the storys are frankly boring after you've seen them much better acted and written. I don`t really like the original CSI but I understand it's a good show with good actors. David Caruso tries hard to be Petersen/Grissom but he just comes off as a bad actor in a bad role in a bad tv series .

The CSI people should lower their ambition cause they're causing real harm to scripted TV. Overall, it's bad as a tv show as Fran Drescher would be as a singer - really bad.
And David Caruso is the worst actor ever.

He should take acting lessons from Edmund Kayyuen. David Caruso drags the show into the gutter. He is just so horrible. He is always trying to act extremely "cool", but instead he comes across as a wannabe cool old man. ......

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http://www.tv.com/csi-miami/show/8460/reviews.html&flag=1&pg_rev=34?tag=pagination;35

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Quote of the day - ".....that David Caruso is awful and who cast that walking bag of skin cancer in a show set in Florida?!!! He's a pale red head. It's suicide.... " (http://sinemaverite.blogspot.com/2008/12/numb3rs-season-3.html)

David Caruso - Caruso has found his match

2008-12-23T11:36:00.000-08:00

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso obviously has met his match.
Finally TPTB have hired someone to guest-star on the show who is as equally self-centered and publicity hungry as Caruso himself.
Sean P.Diddy Combs is milking his short 2-episodes stint at the show for all that is worth. Every little detail is reported to the press . If we interested or not:
"The scene I am shooting today is myself and David [Caruso]. We have a lot of confrontation. I'm like his nemesis."
Really? Do tell!
With continously falling viewer-numbers since season 7 began TPTB can use every PR they can get. And P. Diddy's constant blabberings to the media must be godsend.
Personally, we are less than impressed. Having watched countless CSI Miami episodes we know that P. Diddy's role will be small and a compliant tool for Caruso's one-dimensional character at best. Just another nemesis for Miami's superhero to get rid off. We all know WHO will win in the end, right? Yawn...

For anbody who can't get enough about Diddy's prattlings and exaggerations here are a few links. It is also one of the few times you 'll might see Icon of Idiocy David Caruo's picture on the MTV-webpage:

Quote of the day - "David Caruso - He gives me the creeps. Always has, and his character on Miami CSI is way too cool for him to pull off...."
(http://www.talktimmins.com/showthread.php?s=81f8c6db7c2328178eb0275d69f10e57&p=35368#post35368)

David Caruso - L'ego de David Caruso

2008-12-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

It always depends how one looks at things. Only a small minority of incredibly ignorant cyber-surfers seems to think that a caricature is meant as praise to the celebrity. Ridiculous, we know. Especially, if one is as mercilessly spoofed 24/7 as Icon of Idiocy David Caruso.
Of course, we have to differ between harmless pre-adolescent fan-caricatures and drawings/enactments/spoofs by those who are real masters of their trade.
If someone continously is made fun of - can that really be seen as a compliment? Or is it more a ridicule of the person itself and the non-existing (acting) talents?
We think in Caruso's case the latter is rather applicable.
Who - in the history of TV- has been made more fun of than Icon of Idiocy David Caruso ? Not even the unbeatable William Shattner got/gets as much flack from the media as David Caruso. Not that it is undeserved. It is the publics' small but very effective revenge for the bad acting/line reading we had to endure over the past six years.
A real masterpiece - and oddly neglected by Caruso's few remaining fans - is the following video about the writers strike and yts aftermath for scripted nightmares like CSI Miami. One even could say it beats Jim Carrey's imitation by far:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7lYVY_PvRM

Quote of the day - "I would have to say David Caruso. He ruins CSI Miami for me. Another one for David Caruso, without his ego they could get some good actors..." (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=28898864)

Recommended reading: http://insolite.skynetblogs.be/post/5686126/lego-de-david-caruso

David Caruso - A daunting example for everyone

2008-12-21T11:49:00.000-08:00

It is used as a dauting example for everyone whose attitude /behavior starts to become unbearable. Just like kids are warned that their bad actions will be punished for sure it is a warning to everyone who thinks she/he deserves more. In every field of the entertainment industry, sports, business etc. it is used as a broad hint. Meaning - get your act together or....:

You don't want to end up like David Caruso, do you?

We think it has merrit. We doubt Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Jeremy Piven or (in this case) footballer Lucas Neil want to spend the next ten years or so deemed complete losers by everyone like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso:

.....The last thing he will want to be known as is the David Caruso of football.

David Caruso, you will remember, got too big for his boots on NYPD Blue and quit to concentrate on his film career. Then he made Jade. He’s now back in television, on CSI: Miami, having learned the hard way that misplaced ambition can sometimes get your life in an awful mess and what you already have to begin with usually ain’t that bad at all. ...

How true.

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http://blogs.foxsports.com.au/football/index.php/foxsports/comments/the_future_for_lucas_neill/

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Quote of the day - "...and "CSI: Miami" makes be gag, because of David Caruso's ego, red hair, and ever-present sunglasses."

(http://www.aarp.org/community/profile/aboutme/index.bt?membername=wyzwomn )

David Caruso - Caricatures galore

2008-12-20T17:13:00.000-08:00

We have to admit we have a soft spot for caricatures. It doesn't matter if artful pencil drawings , colorful high-tech prints or photoshopped pictures. We salute everyone who is able to produce a piece of art like that.
In some cases those caricatures are even better (looking) than the original (person) that is caricatured. That does apply for sure to Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. We have seen countless caricatures of him. Most of them are real masterpieces by very talented artists. Their products are not as hard on the eyes as David Caruso (or his uglywrinkled mug) himself.
The above are three examples of great David Caruso-caricatures. Needless to say there are many more of them. However, those are our clear favorites.
Enjoy!

P. S. If you want to vote for your favorite Caruso-caricature, please go to:
http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/21/results/Best+David+Caruso+caricature

*
Quote of the day - "David Caruso - the William Shatner of this generation. I’ve seen better acting from the Thunderbirds." (http://blogs.news.com.au/news/splat/index.php/news/comments/who_is_the_worst_movie_star_ever/P20/)

David Caruso - Tagged!

2008-12-19T11:07:00.000-08:00

What is a tag?
A tag is a keyword or a phrase associated with a post as a means of classification. In each post, the tags appear as a list between the title and the text of the post. In effect, tags classify posts..(http://www.imechanica.org/node/104)

Today, while looking for suitable material for our blog two titles showed up on our Feed . They immediately spiked our interest:
* David Caruso attacks child in a wheelchair. (http://wordpress.com/tag/david-caruso-attacks-child-in-wheelchair/)
* David Caruso killd a blind puppy. (http://wordpress.com/tag/david-caruso-kills-blind-puppy/)
Klicking on the provided tags/links we didn't find articles relating to the headlines. Instead we found the answer to the question what would people do if they won one million bucks. We were amused nonetheless.
This clearly shows that people automatically associate weird things with Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. It also clearly shows that people don't shy away making fun of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso whenever/however they can. Obviously, Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is simply the symbol of anything bad, crazy or plain ridiculous.
David Caruso has earned himself a bad reputation: Be it through his rotten on-set attitude ( According to on-set reports Caruso and Emily Procter don't to get along very well!!), his laughable mannerisms and schticks or through the fuck-ups in his very public private life.
That's Karma, buddy!

Since the above tags made us laugh we would like to offer a few funny examples of our own:
* David Caruso caught in Parisian brothel
* David Caruso throws temper-tantrum and spits at female Extra
* David Caruso quitts acting for good...
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Quote of the day - "David Caruso works the one-liners and specs. And he works them like they’ve never been worked before. This video has perfectly showcased the entire range of Caruso’s talent in less than four minutes..." (http://raincoaster.com/2007/02/21/csi-miami-caruso-works-the-one-liners-and-sunglasses/)

David Caruso - Black Holes

2008-12-18T13:01:00.000-08:00

Lately in the blogosphere....

The news that rapper Sean "P. Diddy¨" Combs will grace CSI Miami with a short cameo have made a lot of waves. (http://davidcarusoandme.blogspot.com/2008/11/david-caruso-p-diddy-is-in-house.html)

It also resulted in a few very funny snark-bites. Enjoy, the latest and by far the most accurate:

Q: So when two bad actors get together, isn't a black hole the result?

A: Actors? I?m sorry, but I thought we were talking about Caruso???... *scratches head* I've only seen clips from that show, but it's enough to prove how little talent that man posseses.....

LOL!

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http://community.livejournal.com/blackfolk/2008/11/19/

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Quote of the day - "Are redheaded men crazy, too? When David Caruso is the best thing that has ever happened to your phenotype, you can't help but be crazy.." (http://www.reason.com/blog/show/129127.html )

David Caruso - Chill, Santa!

2008-12-17T15:28:00.001-08:00

For all those who - for what reasons ever - just can't get enough of X-mas, TV and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso here's a funny video clip by AXN (Asia).
The Carusobot terminates Santa...LOL.
Must make (on-set) diva David Caruso proud that his wrinkled ugly mug is used by virtually everyone for virtually everything...

Quote of the day - "I only voted for David Caruso, due to the fact that he is so far ahead of everyone else in terms of suckiness that this poll should have been titled "Worst TV actor not named David Caruso". (http://trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=71735&page=2)

David Caruso - An orange question answered!

2008-12-16T23:21:00.000-08:00

Picture : A major douche with pumpkins!
@
Some time ago Icon of Idiocy David Caruso did a little song and dance for the paparazzi - like he always does. He was out on a Sunday in October getting pumpkins.
Reason enough to set up a little poll asking viewers/readers/fans what they thought about Caruso's more than obvious need to get some attention.
Well, as of today this poll is closed and we have the pleasure of presenting you with the results:

Poll: An orange question
Link: http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/15/results/An+Orange+Question
Poll opened: Oct. 17, 2008
Poll closed: Dec 16, 2008
Votes: 15
Options:
Who is more orange: the pumpkins or I? 40%
Mine are just as big - promised! 33%
I know, I do look like an idiot! 27%

Thank you to everyone who took the time and voted! However, we have to admit we would have chosen option 3 as the one most fitting.....c'est la vie!
@
Quote of the day - "...and the only significant cultural contribution that star David Caruso has made in the last few years has been when he was a key component to one of the funnier one-liners in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” (http://efilmcritic.com/feature.php?feature=2545)

David Caruso - The problem with Caruso is...

2008-12-15T13:44:00.000-08:00

No one is worse at acting than Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. Even absolute newbies outshine/upstage the annoying redhead by far. And comparing someone to David Caruso or his subpar acting is seen as an insult (Just like throwing shoes at presidents in Iraq! LOL!). Thus we can understand that people shy away from comparing someone to David Caruso:

.....I don't think it was anywhere near David Caruso.
In fact - NO OTHER ACTOR on American television even comes close to the hamminess of David Caruso (not even William "Priceline!" Shatner himself). Why else would Joel McHale keep doing his Caruso/ CSI:Miami impressions on The Soup?

Caruso's "acting" style consists entirely of stilted dialogue delivered extremely s-l-o-w-l-y and deliberately, while tilting his head, hands on his hips. Then don't forget that he needs to put on his sunglasses before walking out of frame! ** Cue The Who theme song! ** :-P
Ed Westwick ( of Gossip Girl) is fantastic. Comparing him to David Caruso is downright insulting given that Ed Westwick can actually act.
The problem with Caruso's acting style is that it's all based on tilting the head forward and making awkward moves, while speaking in strange tones. Whether he's wearing sunglasses or not. To me it seems pretty undpredictable. On the other hand, the acting from Shatner uses emotions, along with a lot of lowbrow humor that is hard to resist enjoying. Which is why I get a kick out of it whenever he states his name.

Sorry, but I'll take Crane over Caine anyday!......

WE TOO!!!

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http://blog.zap2it.com/tvgal/2008/12/what-the-chuck.html

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Quote of the day - "...though it's hard to imagine too many three-year-olds watching CSI: Miami, even if David Caruso does look like a red moptop doll on occasion."

(http://communities.canada.com/shareit/blogs/tvguy/archive/2008/06/09/the-past-tv-season-s-real-winners-and-losers-a-different-view.aspx )

David Caruso - Underwhelmed audiences

2008-12-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

There are legions of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso/CSI Miami-detractors out there who need to be heard. And we are more than honored and happy to be able to give them a voice and provide them with the attention they deserve :

....I still love the original CSI, but am frankly a little sick of CSI MIAMI because of David (tilt my head down and speak in a low voice so the director will not realize what a crappy actor I am) Caruso. And what's up with the perpetual orange glow on that show? The show seems to be all style, no substance. Too many artsy shots and long musical sequences with no dialogue CSI-Miami is just plain hard to watch. Especially with David Caruso as lead. I tire quickly of his uber-machismo and the graphic depictions of violence and forensics.There are a lot of us who can't turn the television off fast enough when we we see CSI Miami comes on.

David Caruso is the most over-actor on the CSI lineup.

Caruso has got to be the most ridiculously portrayed actors on television. The camera shots of Caruso, (only from his right side, please, and only with the dark glasses)...come on.

David Caruso, Miley Cyrus and Mariah Carey need to go into the hall of fame for the most obnoxious over the top alleged talents in their craft. A little of each of them goes a long way. Argghhh....

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/10/les-moonves-csi-will-crus_n_150019.html

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Quote of the day - "....it was really The David Caruso Show. He was good as John Kelly, although I've never cared for any of his other work that I've seen. It's not surprising that he developed ego problems in that year, since the show was so blatantly trying to present him as the sole star." (http://zirbert.blogspot.com/2008/12/many-random-returns.html)

David Caruso - Chin-face!

2008-12-12T18:48:00.001-08:00

His REAL face!

Well, we always had the opinion Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is one hideously looking ugly guy. Just watching the annoying readhead every Monday on TV is enough to make one nauseous/barf.

Coincidentally, we stumbled upon this page: http://www.freakingnews.com/Celebrity-Chin-Faces-Pictures--2059.asp

Check it out people! Great stuff!

Quote of the day - ...and ends with David Caruso, blinking into some middle distance while growling a miserably macho line of dialogue...(http://www.salon.com/ent/iltw/2006/11/12/brothers_sisters/)

David Caruso - Fact and Fancy

2008-12-11T09:43:00.000-08:00

A frequent visitor/fellow poster made our day with the following cute poem made from Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's horrible one-liners. (They say the annoying ginger is solely responsible for them!!!)
Great work. Keep it up!

This is how the world ends

Drive-by, Miami style…

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

No need now, the verdict is in…

The world is too much with us

Frank, it turns out the wave is not the only thing about to hit Miami…

What immortal hand or eye

Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

But you are about to lose your 5 star status…

I met a traveller from an antique land

Miami has a new breed of criminal…

No coward soul is mine

Yes Frank, a dead body can have that effect on you…

Here in this valley of discrete academies

The verdict is in Frank, but the jury is out…

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,

First he came and then he went…

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http://reallysmallfish.blogspot.com/2008/12/because-what-world-needs.html

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Quote of the day - "CSI looks stupid, and so does David Caruso, so I don’t watch it..."

(http://www.dailyballbreakers.com/?p=734)

David Caruso - He laughs! Keep the children inside!

2008-12-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

We are well aware of the fact that it is always a disturbing sight when Icon of Idiocy David Caruso attempts a laugh/smile. The following is an interesting abstract by a fellow blogger who the the questionable pleasure to watch a CSI Miami-David Caruso-PR-video (http://beta.sling.com/video/show/73904/20/CSI%3A-Miami---Elizabeth-Berkley) :

......My first realization is how unnerving it is to see David Caruso chuckle. Just as the Bible never depicts Jesus laughing, so "CSI: Miami" never allows Horatio Cane so much as a giggle. Yes, I know the Carus' is human, made of flesh and blood and given to the same spectrum of emotions as you or I, but it just doesn't seem right.
My second realization is that anyone coming to this clip for insight into Caruso's Thespo-bot 3000 acting style will come away disappointed.
Or will they?
Caruso only reveals that he thinks it important to get to the set early. Is this innocuous fact - or a kind of zen koan for adepts to meditate upon?......
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http://beta.sling.com/blog/803/Caruso-Laughs
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Quote of the day - "Cardboard has more charisma than Caruso..." (http://misguidedthoughts.com/journal/2008/05/dammit-they-almost-killed-horatio)

David Caruso makes one weep for gingers

2008-12-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

It is alwyas interesting to read what other people think of Icon of idiocy David Caruso. The following comments were found on ONE BLOG alone ( http://twoliablog.com/the-catherinette-chronicles/2008/11/28/david-caruso-douche-bag-extraordinaire/).

We think that is more than telling!:

Mella: If they made a drinking game like that, people would die from alcohol poisoning.

*
The Human: I’d like to see him (Caruso) do a season on Oz from HBO. Maybe they could bring it back and document what life would be like for him on the “inside”.

*
Foxy: He makes me want to weep for the gingers.

*
Hannah: He really is the f’ing worst.

*
Southern Chickie: He does also seem to be able to deliver his lines without drooling all over himself. There’s another thing he seems to do well.

*
Justine: Rodriguez is hot, but not even he can redeem the show from Caruso’s ass cheeks acting.

*
John Fossey: You know the best part about England? I didn’t have to hear anything about David Caruso the whole time!!
*
Cat: Caruso’s like genital warts. You just never know when he’ll be back.

So sweet...LOL

Quote of the day - "Caruso killed his career when he walked away from a serious money making TV drama to make movies. Bah! He's a totally second rate actor and I agree, sounds like Shatner.."

(http://www.tdtcoalition.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=6929&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=&sid=972897d18f8a78d1dc0be5ab70315c4a)

David Caruso - Bits and Bobs

2008-12-08T10:58:00.001-08:00

Elections (thankfully) are over, but we still want your votes.
We thought it is about time to give a little upadte on worthy polls about and around Icon of Idiocy David Caruso.

*P. Diddy vs. David Caruso. Who is the WORSE? (http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/19/results/P+Diddy+vs+David+Caruso+WORSE+actor)

BOTH are notorious Divas. BOTH are known for their rotten attitudes. Question is who is worse...

Ends: January 30, 2009

* An Orange Question!

http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/15/results/An+Orange+Question

David Caruso, a few pumpkins and lots of love from the paps!

Ends: December 16, 2008

* Obviously, Emily Procter is mightely pissed at David Caruso. Could this be because of...

http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/16/results/Obviously+Emily+Procter+mightely+pissed+David

David Caruso and Emily Procter are not getting along. That is no secret anymore. They say mainly because of David Caruso's unbearable on-set behavior. What do YOU think is the reason behind the rift between the two actors. Take a look at our suggestions...

Ends: December 28, 2008

Vote often. We do care about your opinion....

Quote of the day - "I am still holding out hope that it is David Caruso. I know, probably a vain hope, but it would warm the cockles of my heart so much if they'd get rid of that windbag and let others on the show shine." (http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2008/12/blind-item-they.html?xid=rss-ausiellofiles-Blind%20Item:%20They%20axed,%20but%20I%20won't%20tell)

David Caruso - The finer points...

2008-12-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

It is always very entertaining when we stumble upon bloggers who write drown their thoughts/feelings about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's subpar acting.....

....Friends and I have debated recently the finer points of CSI: Miami, with the result being that several of said friends are simply delusional when it comes to the acting ability of one David "Horatio Cane" Caruso.

Those repeated screams at the beginning of every episode ?

Yes, those are the actual recorded screams of fans who simply cannot take another slowly-delivered, horrible one-liner from Mr. David Caruso.

...A speech therapist (or acting coach) and a few Priuses could literally turn CSI Miami into a family-friendly show once again. We are sure, a few minutes on Ms. Procter's fine site will surely wash away all of the horrible screams and one-liners you experienced .....

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http://odysseyposse.blogspot.com/2008/11/how-to-make-miami-safer-place.html

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Quote of the day -"Perot's subsequent disappearance has been rivaled only by David Caruso's. Who's David Caruso? My point exactly...." (http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2000/08/durst33.html)

David Caruso - Does he wear The Whizzinator?

2008-12-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso undoubtedly belongs to those kind of men who have a vain character - overinflated ego and Diva-attitude that he is known for and displays whenever possible - especially on the set of CSI Miami.

For a short period of time there was a special device available on the Internet - sucessfully distributed by a company called Puck Technology - that is not only a very convenient urinating device but is also very useful if one wants certain things to appear bigger than they are in reality: The Whizzinator
The Whizzinator is easy to conceal,with a very realistic prosthetic penis. It is designed to be comfortably worn as an undergarment for extended periods of time and has been extensively tested and proven to work under real life conditions......

Could it be possible that Caruso got one of those and is wearing it while shooting CSI Miami?

Who knows?Stranger things than that happened. Besides, with almost 53 David Caruso is at an age where certain things might shrink and wrinkle up...

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http://funtobebad.blogspot.com/2008/12/whizzinator-is-easy-to-conceal.html
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Quote of the day - "The Unbloggable kicked our asses and led to many hours of zombi-like staring at a TV screen where CSI: Miami was playing in all its sundrenched, sunglassed, David Carusoness..."(http://anaccidentofhope.com/2008/06/23/stuff-and-nonsense/)

David Caruso - Old wrinkelface

2008-12-05T12:04:00.001-08:00

We all know Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's ugly careworn mug is a battlefield marked by life with wrinkles, blemishes and scars. Undoubtedly, the result of booze (Caruso is a dried alcoholic) , smoking and other bad habits we really don't care to delve further into.

Now one blogger has had enough of the ugly sight and has drawn her very own version of David Caruso's face - which isn't as hard on the eyes as the original.
Great artistic work, we think.
Maybe she could send this picture to TPTB at CSI Miami. They could stick it onto a cardboard figure and put it into every scene instead of old wrinkelface Caruso.
TV-viewers all over the planet would sigh a huge breath of relief......

Drawing courtesy of
http://gohan-sama.deviantart.com/art/horatio-caine-94364863

Quote of the day - "There’s a rumor going around that David Caruso is planning to sue. Mr. Caruso has taken a copyright out on the removal of sunglasses..." (http://www.noquarterusa.net/blog/2008/07/29/sneak-peek-w-trailer/ )