David Caruso - Spot David Caruso being a twat!

We are well aware that there are countless Icon of Idiocy David Caruso Drinking Games out there. No real suprise here. Caruso's acting is so bad that some only can bear to watch it while being completely intoxicated.

A fellow blogger invented a new amusing form of the game. He calls it

'Spot David Caruso being a twat':

According to the autor it's very easy to play:
We have a laptop set up, with a spreadsheet open, and for each episode we watch, we keep a count of various David Caruso mannerisms:

• "Manipulating sunglasses"
  "Saying the same thing two or more times in row"
  "Being a condescending bastard"
  "Acting As Though He's A Jesus Figure"etc

He's still the same sickening overacting ham that he'd become, but it makes the show much more interesting; since the action on the screen is somewhat secondary to the ever-increasing scores. One episode (Season 1, episode four) was a record for 'condescending bastard' moments. We were at the end of Episode 5, when I casually mentioned the lack of his taking off his sunglasses, when not 10 seconds later, closeup and he's taking off his sunglasses, a palpable hit!

As our spreedsheet grows, we can track his performance history, do pivot tables and geeky sillyness to prove how bad Caruso is.
(Warning: I would make it a sipping game, rather than a shotglass event, unless you can afford multiple bottles of booze, and have a hankering for a little alcoholic poisoning ...)

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http://episteme.arstechnica.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/34709834/m/520007486931/inc/1
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Quote of the day - ....Suddenly, we are faced with watching a comically absurd David Caruso skulk around South Beach on "CSI Miami"..(http://media.www.gonzagabulletin.com/media/storage/paper375/news/2009/01/30/Entertainment/Network.Television.Passes.The.Crown.As.Premium.Cable.Gains.Popularity-3605935.shtml)

David Caruso - The butt of jokes

Ridiculing Icon of Idiocy David Caruso never has been so much fun! Thanks to the unlimited talent of people who are willing to provide us with a much needed laugh or two. People who run blogs like Cartoon Penis and Barley Sarcasm deserve a honorary mentioning on our blog.
Keep it up guys!

The following are prime candidates for the "David Caruso Spoof Hall of Fame". We are sure, there are more to come. Let's face it - no one is more ridiculous than a fugly redhead with a pair of sunglasses and absolutely no talent....

I give up. TDC is ridiculous. You hear that Tiny David Caruso???? YOU ARE RIDICULOUS.

Another amazing moment ruined in an extremely selfish way by TDC.

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Quote of the day - "Related fart: The Post Hot-Sauce aka David Caruso Fart, which has you going “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” as you put on your sunglasses and fart at the same time."(http://barelysarcasm.tumblr.com/post/72783427/top-5-farts)

David Caruso - No honks!

A few days ago a fellow blogger posted an article with the interesting title:

"HONK IF DAVID CARUSO TURNS YOU ON!"

We decided to bookmark it , curious to see the outcome of this question. Today we checked in again and

S I L E N C E

No masses of juvenile fan-girls drolling over the fugly old wrinklehead. Not even nitwit dojo and the two imbeciles who read her non-sensical blog came to vote for their man.The only reactions the blogger got as "No, sorry, but no."

OUCH.

Understandable. By now, even the dumbest has realized what a complete loser Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is. Caruso's been called an idiot and a twit for so long it has become part of his name. Just mention Icon of Idiocy and people will recognize immediately WHO is meant.

Nobody likes idiots. Nobody finds idiots sexy. Especially if they are as fugly as David Caruso. Sorry old boy.

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http://annealtman.blogspot.com/2009/01/honk-if-david-caruso-turns-you-on.html

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Quote of the day - "....But we all know actor David Caruso and his ultra serious one liner delivery and crawling back to tv after a failed film career." (http://thatdangblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/csi-dont-know.html)

David Caruso - Sixty-Four-Dollar-Question

Q: What happens when one puts together a couple of ridculously bad writers with a cast of nobodies and one washed-up movie-star?

A: CSI Miami !

Bad acting, bad directing, bad writing....

...Do I have to continue? I've been a CSI fan for a long time, starting with the original series, covering (reluctantly) CSI:Miami and on to CSI:NY. Thanks to some brilliant guest actors and turns in the plot of CSI: Crime Scene Investigators I've been able to forget the cheesyness of CSI: Miami for over a year.

THANK GOD!

I just watched an episode of CSI Miami and it's the worst crap I've seen in years. The characters have miserably failed to develop at all since the beginning of the show, realism factor is ridiculous and let's not mention David Caruso.

He was the worst casted actor in a cast of nobodies without talent and ambition that keeps on delivering nothing! This is like Days of our Life's with guns (why do they arrest people again?) Please shut this show to sleep forever and let's not mention it again... (BigCse)

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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313043/board/thread/128923475

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Quote of the day -"... but I'd have to say CSI: Miami. I cannot fucking stand David Caruso. He can diaf as far as I'm concerned. Ugh. I don't see why they made 3954394 spin offs anyway, since the original one was so good anyway...." (http://insane-pyro-grl.livejournal.com/61129.html)

David Caruso - Caruso's orgasm

These are pictures from a recent CSI Miami-shooting in Pasadena, California. From the look of it Lizard Lady (Elizabeth Berkley) will return once again. We can't wait for the High Noon of bad acting: Icon of Idiocy David Caruso vs. Elizabeth Berkley. Now, THAT is acting brutality........


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(Click on pictures to enlarge!)
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Since Icon of idiocy David Caruso gets no love from the critics he hangs himself onto every fan that is avilable or has the bad luck to stumble upon him:
....A crew member told us that on one occasion when they were filming in Long Beach, a large tour bus filled with 75 German tourists pulled up, and got very excited that David Caruso was there. David stopped filming and proceeded to sign autographs and take pictures with each and every person on that bus!!! ...

We are sure the rest of the cast must have had the time of their lives waiting for diva Caruso to end this self-adulation/fan-adulation and go back to work.
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Quote of the day - "Anyone that watches more than one episode of CSI:Miami notices the weird stance of David Caruso....He’s too lazy to go check it out himself, but will still get the credit for everything. A little ego check, please .." (http://zuzuernie.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/come-to-the-dark-side/)

David Caruso - Mutiny and Mutineers

The discontent grows with every episode that airs. People are not only annoyed with the ridiculous antics of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso but also with CSI Miami as A WHOLE.

Be it the writing, the acting , the editing - the unanimous verdict is that it SUCKS BIG TIME:

....I have followed this program from its first episode, and have been gradually loosing interest in it as the plots became lamer and lamer, the logic and techniques used became more and more unbelievable, and the characters became less and less interesting. However, I have always found it to be quite disconcerting the people that they have purported to be examples of beauty, when they have never even been remotely close to attractive, but the plot was usually good enough to distract me from that irritant. That's no longer the case, and ow that it's the David Caruso/Horatio Hour, it's not worth my time.

I am disappointed.

I no longer can stomach Caruso's slanting his head and talking from the side! I thought maybe they would finally get smart and replace the actor/character with a person who can do more than stand and lean his head!!! Also, I watch a show for content not music and fancy camera shots!

Where are the plots?

There's a great video on Youtube that has put together a lot of Caruso's flip catch phrases. Some think it's a tribute to him, but it's actually showing how over the top and unnecessary his comments have become. I started watching the show from the beginning but soon tired of how Caruso was essentially being used as a pin-up boy for the viewers, rather than as a serious actor.

The best of the lot is Vegas. Sadly, they've lost Grissom, which leaves only NY as the most believable of the three and Miami almost a caricature of what true CSI is all about.... (willis991)

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http://www.cbs.com/forum/posts/list/18738.page

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Quote of the day - "I agree about David Caruso...he has never been as good on any show as he thinks he is...he is all about EGO..." (http://community.comcast.net/comcastportal/)

David Caruso - If you have got an itch...

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso seems to inspire a lot of people. He inspires them to make fun of him! We are sure, no actor before him has been ridiculed so many times on so many levels. And all well deserved!

Some produce videos with his most cheesiest one-liners.

Some go on Talk-shows and make publicliy fun of the annoying acting clown.

Some create hilarious caricatures.

...and then there are some who create their own line of personal care products especially adapted to David Caruso......

When you think of an itchy, burning crotch... think David Caruso!

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http://www.blogography.com/archives/2006/10/hygiene.html
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Quote of the day - "David Caruso isn't just a dick, he's a fugly dick. Why would I ever waste my time. Also, CSI: Miami could also be called, CSI: Even More Over the Top." (http://redhoneysky.livejournal.com/731.html)

David Caruso - Cuteness vs. Caruso

Get out of the picture Caruso! I wanna see cuteness.

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When we first stumpled upon this picture we had a good laugh. Then, after a few minutes, we pittied the cute kitty and the squirrel (?) in the picture. How anyone can put someone like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and innocent animals into one picture is beyond us. Sure, the animals are nice and a pleasure to look at , but David CARUSO? Phew, don't get me started on HIM.....

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http://realbadfriend.com/2009/01/22/damn-you-tiny-david-caruso/
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Quote of the day - "...I feel as if David Caruso and William Shatner were separated @ birth....well....an extended birth anyway..." (http://biteduringclass.livejournal.com/250965.html)

David Caruso - Polling P. Diddy and David Caruso!

CSI Miami ratings have been going downhill since season 7 started.

If it is Icon of Idiocy David Caruso, the ape-shit writing , the editing or all things combined that is to blame - we can't tell. To stop that down-trend TPTB of CSI Miami hire high-profile guest stars. We applaud the efforet. However, if they have done themselves a favor by hiring Sean "P. Diddy" Combs remains to be seen. After all, his ego is just as big as David Caruso's.

A few months ago a poll was set up. Asking who is worse: Icon of Idiocy David Caruso or P. Diddy? This poll now is closed. We like to present you with the results:

Question: P. Diddy vs. David Caruso. Who is the WORSE actor?

http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/19/results/P+Diddy+vs+David+Caruso+WORSE+actor

Poll opened: Nov 20, 2008

Poll closed: Jan 20, 2009

Votes: 15

Results:

David Caruso 33%

P. Diddy 27%

BOTH are terrible! 40%

Great choice! As always, we agree with our readers/fans/visitors. Neither Caruso nor P. Diddy should work on TV. EVER.

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Quote of the day - "Watching CSI: Miami tonight. Damn, time has not been good to David Caruso." (http://writenwrong.livejournal.com/64309.html)

David Caruso - He gets PAID MONEY for this?

Sometimes there are no words to describe the ridculousness that is Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. More often than not people are so shell-shocked after watching an episode on CSI Miami that they are reduced to uttering the same - albeit LEGIT - questions over and over again:

I've only watched 1 episode of CSI and it was the Miami one.I couldn't even get through it. I hated it.
But why?
Why did I hate it?
Oh, yea, this is why: David Caruso!
I watched the whole thing.
I laughed.
I cried.
I got angry.
I laughed again.
People watch this crap?
People write this crap?
Again, people watch this crap!!?!?!?!?!?
PEOPLE GET PAID MONEY FOR THIS CRAP!??!!?!?
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http://whatelseishappening.blogspot.com/2007/01/david-caruso.html
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Quote of the day -" ....and then she came back briefly on “CSI:Miami” before that scrawny prick David Caruso and his sunglasses got her kicked off the show.." (http://stonelight.wordpress.com/2008/11/29/kim-delaney/)

David Caruso - Hilarious Caruso picture story!

"Boring them senseless, no doubt. Fuck, he looks bored himself - no mirror handy to check himself out in?"

"Wow - 2 big-tittied girls - for me?"

"Alright, girls. Get in back and pull your kimonos down...I'm gonna show you what a big American dick looks like!"

"....yeah, yeah, I see it, don't pitch a fit - it'll wash out in cold water."

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Many people hate/despise Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. That is a FACT.

Some people react by changing the channel everytime the ugly twat appears on the screen. Some write blogs about how horrendous David Caruso is. And some express their utter disgust in a picture story. Above you can see such a picture story. It is titled "David Caruso - MANWHORE" (VERY FITTING TITLE WE THINK!!!) It is so hilariously funny that we can't help but plagiarize it. We hope "PICKELS" will forgive us...Thank you for the good laugh!

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http://carusothemanwhore.blogspot.com/2007/12/cheese-dick-in-japan-david-caruso.html

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Quote of the day - "...David Caruso...he's terrible, not a single good acting bone in his body..."

(http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/82282-week-12-toasts-lets-get-toasty)

David Caruso - Ginger bottom feeder

Observation of the week:

...Does anybody else think that the guy from CSI Miami (apparently his name is David Caruso ) is a little too orange? I don't know if it is the bad color settings of my TV but that guy always reminds of an apricot. Just had to express the thought.....

Nicely put. LOL
And you are right, of course. But to us Icon of Idiocy David Caruso appears more like a boiled shrimp. An ugly pink/orange bottom feeding shrimp.....
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http://kashmora.blogspot.com/2008/10/quiescence.html
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Quote of the day - "...Here's to you David Caruso, may your terrible acting stay on TV forever, so that we all know that anything is possible..."(http://www.fannation.com/blogs/post/82282-week-12-toasts-lets-get-toasty )

David Caruso - Play it again, Sam!

As a blogger one comes across surveys almost daily. One of them is especially funny and thus "played" by countless people. It contains of 55 funny questions . ONE question one will find in EVERY SURVEY is:

"Can you give one reason why David Caruso is allowed to keep acting?"
Interesting to say at least.

Why does Icon of Idiocy David Caruso of all people pop up in a fun-game like that? We guess, Caruso’s many career-fuck ups have made him subject for countless jokes. Caruso is a parody of a satire of a stereotype of himself as HoCaine, not so much speaking his dialogue as letting it escape.
We visited a few blogs and collected twentyof the most popular answers to the above question:

* who is that
* I don’t even know who that is.
* What a stupid question.
* WHO!
* Not really - I don’t watch anything he’s in
* The real question is, -takes off sunglasses in epic manner- Why is the sky always orange?
* "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
* Redheads run the Jews who run the media.
* he is such a drag! so predictable, we hate him
* i dont care
* NO. GAHH SOMEONE PLEASE REMOVE HIM.
* no clue
* Not really
* eh
* He has an ugly white ass.
* Who else would be willing to play a character called "Horatio Caine"?
* Do I even know who he is?
* Because someone is paying him to
* I dunno
* I have no idea why, can't fucking stand him

Quote of the day - "When CSI spun off CSI: Miami....I checked it out, but quickly dismissed it. David Caruso is just AWFUL . David Caruso can sod off though, ginger black-shirt-wearing mopemeister...."
(http://itzrandysworld.blogspot.com/2009/01/csiny.html)

David Caruso - Touchdown!

Good bless naive people!
The following is a rant by an Icon of Idiocy David Caruso-fan over at the CSI Miami Community Message Board. We don't know what "shadownglass" has been smoking. But it must be really bad shit. Better quit, Dude, before it is too late.
However, we couldn't help but to comment on the fans' verbal (drug-induced?) dysentry :

....Is there anyone among you, that can see what a great artist David Caruso is ?

Great artist? NO!!!

...David Caruso has the gift to move adult men to tears. The ladies on this board love him, want him, would love to get there hands on him. You have to be a really blessed and gifted artist to move adult men and women to such strong emotions....

People are moved to tears because Caruso's acting is SOOOO BAD. Legend has it, that some TV-viewers even poked their eyes out after having to watch the redheaded dork for more than 5 minutes!

....David Caruso is absolutely in his prime right now. The man is an artist, he loves his work. He is well aware of the power he has over an audience....

You are right. Caruso is well aware of his power to make people vomit.

....Get him the right part, the right story, the right character, finally pay him what he wants....

50 cent is the most that talentless hack deserves. Everything above that would be plain ridiculous.

.....How about casting DC in a War Movie, WWI, WWII, Korean, Nam even the Civil War for that matter. Next pictcure DC in a big budget western like 3:10 to Yuma, High Noon, Unforgiven or even Tombstone. Can you imagine DC with Sam Colt strapped to his side and perfect bad boy, hero western duds ? ....

Hahahaha...you can't be serious. Caruso would sink those movies the way he sunk ALL the movies he was in.

....Don't wait, you need to act now. Get this man the proper backing, promotion, funding (Big Budget) for a major motion picture starring DC. The CSI Miami fans alone would insure a profit, my guess is, it would be a block buster hit.

David Caruso couldn't turn any movie a blockbuster - even if his life depeneded on it. He is poison . And every director and producer in LA KNOWS that.

......DC will make that someone a very rich Man, or Woman.

Yes, the bartender at his favorite brothel/Whiskey joint...
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http://www.cbs.com/forum/posts/list/29997.page
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Quote of the day - "CSI: Caruso-frisson = SCIENCE WINS BUT OH NO HERE IS LUCIFER'S SMIRKING CUMBUBBLE ...."
(http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=9730 )

David Caruso - A Ginger and his delusions

(Click on pictures to enlarge!)

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"Like any great narcissist, he (Caruso) assumes parodies of his soul-deadening scenery chewing to be flattery ..". (http://uglycreatures.blogspot.com/2009/01/david-caruso-extra-strength-diet-coke.html)

Hear, hear! A truer word was never spoken.

However, we think, we should let Icon of Idiocy David Caruso wallow in his deluisons. After all, there isn't much going on for the ugly ginger loser outside of CSI Miami. The above comics are true classics of Caruso parodies/spoofs. Two out of many...

Flattery? Hardly. More well deserved ridicule...
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Quote of the day - ...trademark this before David Caruso pantomimes it into his next pained expression/sunglass removal/dramatic pause.. (http://www.thehoulywoodreporter.com/2008/04/i-guess-its-safe-to-assume-gary.html)

David Caruso - TV's sappy smug twat

We stumble across them daily. They pop up on our feed like mushrooms after a heavy rain. They are just too good to ignore: Icon of Idiocy David Caruso bashers and their funny posts.
Welcome to the club!
Legions of annoyed TV-viewers - even nitwit dojo is a regular here ! Time to come out of the closet, sweet cheeks !- join us daily in our noble quest of highlighting the twattishness of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso

Care for an example?

David Caruso?!

Blech! Bleah! Pwtui!

Flabby-faced, bloated nose, dew=lapped eyes, pre-cancerous skin, faux world-weary slouch... should I go on?
David Caruso - You call him an actor??!!
Horrible, Horrible, Horrible
He is flat like last years champagne. Caruso has one talent: He knows how to pose. Dorky, not cool.
He also needs to remember when to use sunglasses..... outdoors, not inside. Caruso doesn't know how to act - he's trying to having a cool-something attitude but in the end we just see some smug twat on TV..

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http://www.tv.com/david-caruso/person/1638/reviews.html&pg_rev=0

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Quote of the day - "I was going to post a picture David Caruso keeps of Senator Vitter, but for some reason Mister Caruso’s picture of Davey Diaper has a hole cut where the mouth should be." (http://humidcity.com/2008/06/28/larry-craig-and-david-vitter-guardians-of-marriage/)

David Caruso - Tang head and rubber chicken

Tired of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's constant fidgeting with his sunglasses? We think, it is high time for a new prop:

...Due to tang head David Caruso’s lack of acting skills. I’d actually like to reach into the tv & rip those sunglasses right off his face. The rest of the cast does a fabulous job & I don’t want to take jabs at them. However, the monotone voice of Caruso ruins the show for me. Drives me crazy.

Caruso is basically still playing the character that was his at the start of “NYPD Blue”. His character does have some range, all the way from point A to point B. His character captures one emotion: Perpetual anger.

He adjusts this anger by taking his sunglasses off or by putting them back on.

Sunglasses off? He’s about to explode.

Sunglasses back on? Explosion averted.

It’s back to cruise-control anger. He could use a new prop. I suggest a rubber chicken.Let’s see if he can maintain his perpetual anger holding one of those! Now, THAT would be acting...

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http://redravine.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/assassins-bullet-kills-kennedy-where-were-you/

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Quote of the day - "Craig Ferguson, who does the Late Late Show on CBS cracks me up! The other night he said "you can't hide behind those sunglasses, David Caruso, you ginger bitch!" LOL indeed!" (http://tjdenver.livejournal.com/1197.html)

David Caruso - Extra Strength Diet Coke Douche

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

David Caruso - Knock, Knock!

A true classic and therefor an absolute MUST for our blog!

" Knock! Knock!"

" Who's there? "

"Spell."

"Spell, who?"

" W-H-O"

From the pen of one of our readers:

....I hate Icon of Idiocy David Caruso (Who doesn't????)
He'll only ever be able to play a cop. That's it. The range. ZERO.
I need directions to the nearest 12-Step group for.... Red hair o'phobes! I admit I never liked the way he looked because of his red hair!
Screw the secrets of the universe - for years philosphers... will be asking how the most humiliatingly bad actor that ever lived could star in a hit TV series...

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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6828193#6831709

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Quote of the day - "Caruso WISHES he had Peterson's success....." (http://www.tvguide.com/News/CSIs-William-PetersenWont-1001361.aspx#BLKcommentCount)

David Caruso - Interpreter needed!

Many people are speechless when faced with the smell-the-fart acting of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. There are simply no words when it comes to describe the acting-atrocity that is TV's biggest douchebag.

However, the fact that even his fans - the few he has left - are at a loss for words when faced with their favorite object of desire is new for us.

Recently, one of those poor misguided creatures dropped the following non-sensical blurb on a David Caruso fan-board :

Anonymous said...
(sic) Shy side! Shy side!???? My chin may drop to the floor and my muscles may contract more than occasionally but lol, shy side, not today. Very nice! (January 8, 2009 3:29 PM)

For the life of us we can't imagine what the commenter is trying to say. Sounds kind of brain-fried. No matter how often we read and re-read it we always came up empty. Maybe he/she was about to type/say:

• Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's acting is so bad that my chin drops to the floor.
• David Caruso's uglyness makes my muscles contract more than occasionally.
• My brain is so fried because I drool over that ginger wingnut 24/7.
• David Caruso! I desperately need to poke out his image of my minds eye....

Everything is possible, we guess. After all, we are not fluent in Caruso-fan-gibberish..

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Quote of the day - "For some reason David Caruso and his weird acting style zonks me right out." (http://chaoticallycalm.blogspot.com/2009/01/jumping-back-into-swing-of-things.html)

David Caruso - The beauty and the beast

Normally we wouldn't put the picture of attractive Katie Couric and wrinkly old fugtard Icon of Idiocy David Caruso in one post.
However, since both share the same birthday we thought it would be a good opportunity to show how attractive 52 years of age and how unattractive/ugly/wrinkly 53 years of age can look. What a difference a healtyh, happy life can make. Caruso's many failures are deeply etched into his face.

Couric is the anchor for CBS Evening News and while David Caruso is the most annoying and untalented douchebag that ever "graced" the TV-screen. The only reason to watch CSI: Miami is the faint hope that one day we’ll get to see him accidentally poking out one of his eyes while putting on his sun glasses...LOL
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Picture: http://origin.www.scandalist.com/2009-01-07/birth-dating-whos-older-katie-couric-or-david-caruso/
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Quote of the day - ..It’s not a half bad show if you keep a sharp object nearby to jab yourself with when David Caruso turns sideways and says something dramatically retarded...(http://www.highdefforum.com/high-definition-programming/87098-same-show-two-networks-noticeable-differences.html)