Sockpuppet David Caruso's pick-up lines.....

.......he most likely could use when out and about town hitting on co-stars, random young women, extras or fuggly Latina ex-hos :

"So, do you like sunglasses?"

"Come over and see my video collection. I have every episode of Miami Vice."

"I also have the world's only remaining copy of Jade."

"And thats only two of the things you can do with a really good pair of sunglasses."

"Ha, ha! No, actually I'm not the valet."

"What brings you to Shoneys?"

"I've partied with Dennis Franz."

"What do you do for a living? No, I'm not selling something."

"Hi, I'm Carson Daly's father

"Come now, you've never seen Jade?"
(Idea courtesy of JOHN of http://www.myspace.com/parsleyparrot )
David Caruso

Sockpuppet Caruso's career as computer virus!

What will happen to our major douche and sockpuppet David Caruso if CSI Miami won't be aired anymore? Who will/would employ a one-dimensional wooden actor with a face that has more wrinkles than a sows ass? NO ONE. An opportunity would be to start a career as COMPUTER VIRUS. This would be in accordance with his TV career: everybody knows WHO he is AND everybody HATES HIM! Nothing has changed, right? LOL!

"David Caruso NYPD Blue virus: After running successfully for a while, it exits the program it was in and never works again."
(

http://www.totalmania.net/celebrity-computer-viruses)

David Caruso

Chariah Lynn's second strike on Sockpuppet David Caruso!

We never laughed so hard. Chariah Lynns second strike! The title alone left us rolling on the floor with laughter. You rock girl! We want read more about Sockpuppet David Caruso aka Johnny Walker, aka Jack Daniels....LOL
http://chariahlynn.blogspot.com/2007/11/david-carusoakajhonny-walkerakajack.html

Girl YOU MADE A GREAT IMPRESSION!

David Caruso

Sockpuppet David Caruso's new temptation

(Picture courtesy of cuzoogle http://cuzoogle.wordpress.com/2007/11/28/csi-miami-piles-on-more-cheese/)

Sorry, we just couldn't resist but CSI Miami's latest addition is really yummy. Sockpuppet David Caruso is facing a BIG temptation. (Will be there some trailer action? Of course, ONLY to practice the lines!!!) Admit it guys - this lady looks a lot hotter than the San Antonio ex-ho Caruso has at home.

David Caruso

Sockpuppet David Caruso reviewed

"Anything that references the sheer fucking batshit lunacy that is David Caruso just makes me smile. Bless you sir."

Posted by Chez on(http://www.webstersismybitch.com/2007/11/dramatic-pause.php)

We couldn't agree more!!!!

David Caruso

Chariah got the scoop on Sockpuppet Caruso

My dear friend CHARIAH LYNN RODRIGUEZ is back again! YEAH! She just finished a great post on her blog which will be an eye-opener for all those who always wanted to know MORE about WHY David Caruso has so huge bags under his eyes . I'm proud to be able to present you with an excerpt:


............"EXCUSE ME MA'AM,ARE YOU FORGETING SOMETHING?"!!


.........why if you are the hottest,perfect,good actor,red hair,and definitly every single girl man's dreams,you have to pay to a woman to have your kids?jajaja,he is so use to pay hookers,that he forgot that maybe by this time liza can do that for free!by other hand,liza is so use to get payed that he has to,i think they don't wanna lose the family tradition...


.......so fans,let's cheers for david,the hottest,perfect,man on earth,and let us hope,for one day,he land and realize,that he is not a baby anymore,he is a human being not god,and pray for his children,that they never have to face in school the fact that their mother is a hooker,their father an alcoholic,fornicator,(but who cares?he is perfect and hot right? LOL)that seems to be the most important thing in this world for his fans,and hoping too,that he stop hide his behaviour behind his stupid glasses!!


For the rest of the post please go to http://chariahlynn.blogspot.com/2007/11/diary-of-hottest-man-on-earth_24.html and ENJOY!!!!
David Caruso

Sockpuppet Caruso photoshopped

Since David Caruso in reality is one UGLY SCRAWNY BLOKE we decided to do some photoshopping to make his appearance less hard on everyones eyes. And since David Caruso only loves his FEMALE FANS (http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2007/11/caruso-only-female-fans-please.html) we decided to show a little bit of skin. (Actually, this picture has been around for some time....but it is still great....)

WE KNOW Caruso's people JUST LOVE this piccy!!!!

David Caruso

Sockpuppet David Caruso sucks ass!

......NOBODY is worse than David Caruso! I mean, at least Berringer did an okay job in “Major League” and some other stuff… but Caruso sucks ass in everything......

AGREED...maybe we should change his nickname to SUCKPUPPET....LOL

Thoughtfully left by "Dave 2" on : http://www.worldofchad.net/2007/04/12/wha-a-meme-noooo/

David Caruso

New David Caruso caricature

This is a brandnew caricature of sockpuppet David Caruso which is just too good to miss.

Caricature courtesy of: http://megahaters.com/category/operation-orange-cone/ (Used with permission - thank you, guys!)

David Caruso

David Caruso's hot turkey

Since it is Thanksgiving we pondered HOW David Caruso's turkey might look like. Taking into consideration Caruso's bad reputation ( like being drunk on a plane or induging in promiscuity) we came up with the picture shown to the left.

Happy holidays, Dave!

David Caruso

Stupid David Caruso poses

There are two situations ( positions) any decent actor wouldn't want to get photographed in - no matter what. The first one is getting caught getting a blow-job while driving down Sunset Boulevard. The second one - see picture above. We don't now WHAT David Caruso was thinking while posing like that - but it can't be anything intelligent.

David Caruso

People hate Sockpuppet Caruso

If you scan the net you'll find thousands of blogs/comments that express peoples' utter dislike for David Caruso. Honestly we can't blame them. His reputation as dickhead is well earned. Here are a few fine examples of people's opinions about our Celebrity-Sockpuppet which are just TOO GOOD TO BE MISSED:

@@@@@@

......... David Caruso - this guy is a tool....he talks like a child molester and in short cut sentences. I hope they kill off his character because he's gonna give me an ulcer ......
(http://209.85.135.104/search?q=cache:35AKqN2N8VsJ:nbaliveforums.com/ftopic21976.php%26highlight%3D%26si3De69fc6bb2d5a9e2fa9359cb6f6f5deb6+David+Caruso+is+a+dickhead&hl=de&ct=clnk&cd=29&gl=at)

@@@@@@

From: Jessevd
Posts: 5
are you for real? he's a redhead albino with a sunglass removing fetish. the show had great potential and had some good seasons but what i see now is disgusting. .........

http://boards.cbs.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=cbscsimiamb&tid=2022

@@@@@@

From: Jessevd
Posts: 5
hahaha i came here just to see if anybody else hates this guy as much as i do. to be honest...... Caruso has to be the single worst part of television.

http://boards.cbs.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=cbscsimiamb&tid=202

@@@@@@

From: sarajane26
Posts: 3
I am to the point of boycotting this show. I can't stand David Caruso. Does he have a neck problem? He always looks in pain. He ruins the show.

http://boards.cbs.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=cbscsimiamb&tid=2022

AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.....

David Caruso

We had a....NIGHTMARE!

We all know that sockpuppet David Caruso can't pass a camera without holding his ugly mug into it. He just can't help it. Everything he ever does serves just one purpose - to get as much attention as possible. Poor creature!
Last night we had a nightmare...an image so heinous.....we woke ....shaking....covered in cold sweat.....

David Caruso

Sockpuppet Caruso's crotch - again

.....I then spent 10 minutes in HMV studying David Caruso's crotch. It really is a fascinating sight. For some reason (I can probably guess why) he seems to have a huge trouser bulge compared to everyone else. It was a source of some fascination for a little while.........
(Found on: (http://llamasshallrule.blogspot.com/2007/11/get-in-my-mother-fuckin-time-machine.html)

HUGE??? Are you sure?.....look again....To US it looks rather SMALL.....

Maybe the MAIN reason for his drinking (now an then) is because he can't deal with the fact that he is only "a small number"....????

David Caruso

Sockpuppet Caruso is late to the (picketing) party

Obviously after being made aware that people like "horatiolover" and others took offense in him being missing in action at the picketline (http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/Horatiolovers-Blog/Picketing-Csi-Stars/800027270) David Caruso obviously made a BEELINE for it at the Universal Studios.
All we can say that CARUSO IS LATE TO THE PARTY. Other well known actors have been there SINCE DAY ONE. Little PR-whore that Caruso is he recognized instantly that this was an opportunity too good to miss. Still shame on you Caruso! You should have been one of the first - like Helgenberger and Petersen.

David Caruso

Anatomy of Sockpuppet Caruso's face

It is highly ironic. We have been wondering about David Caruso's rapid aging face for a very long time. Now, that rumors about him being (allegdly) drunk on a plane from Miami to LA around 2 weeks ago won't die down
(http://davidcaruso.personalfanpages.com/1775/David+Caruso+drunk+on+a+flight+from+Miami+to+LA%3F.html)
we think we finally can solve the riddle: It is bad if you have sensitive skin but if you exacerbate the situation by heavy drinking, carousing - no pun intended - and burning your candle at both ends (We leave it to your imagination!) - you end up with Sockpuppet David Caruso in all its glory!
David Caruso

Sockpuppet David Caruso

Sockpuppets are all around the net. Some are hidden, some are famous, some are lurking waiting to be outed and some are even notorious. Looks like everybody has his/her own favourite sockpuppet. Sockpuppets have become "EN VOGUE" or an "IT"-item. So we created our very own David Caruso-sockpuppet. Why?

Because a few weeks ago Caruso (allegedly) was spotted drunk on a plane from Miami to LA . A very stupid thing to do. Shame on you, Dave! We expected better...

David Caruso

David Caruso - the cult of a douche

This has got to be by far the MOST STUPID COVER ever seen on a magazine. It is not known if David Caruso was DRUNK OR ON DRUGS OR BOTH when this picture was made. We would change the headlines into : The Cult of a DOUCHE! Definitely an UGLY CREATURE....
BTW Caruso once again moved to Sherman Oaks (district in the San Fernando region of LA)...for all those who want to pay a visit:
(http://maps.google.com/mapsq=Sherman+Oaks,+CA,+USA&sa=X&oi=map&ct=title).....
David Caruso

David Caruso's paternity question

Now that David Caruso's bitch obviously has dropped the bundle the question if Caruso is really the kids' maker arises - again. Taking the Latinas shady past into consideration (and her penchant for sreading 'em for everyone who is a celebrity - married or not) chances are high that this is another c-h-u-c-k-o-o....(BUT THEN, OF COURSE, WE CAN BE MISTAKEN...LOL)

However, it is extremely suspcious that they seem to hide their latest addition. One wonders WHY - is it so ugly??? ANYWAY - we keep you posted......

David Caruso