Wednesday, February 18, 2009

David Caruso - Butthead

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso - A face so ugly only his mother could love or one or the other highly delusional fan... (like dodo/dojo, the dumb one)....
We doubt there is anyone who has been more often ridiculed and made fun of than him. And Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is one of those individuals who deserves to be the butt of jokes.
There are so many reasons as to why:
- his unbearable diva behavior
- his ridiculously bad acting
- his careworn appearance which bears signs of prolonged substance abuse.
Just to name a few.
Recently someone put together a collage of the most notworthy caricatures of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. Is it just us or does Caruso bear a certain resemblance to Mister Bean? LOL
Quote of the day - ..Is David Caruso the biggest douchebag on the planet? Just seeing that picture of him on the CSI cover wants me want to punch him in the neck..( )

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

David Caruso - Oh, crap! It's Caruso!

One funny picture.
One funny caption.
14 hilariously funny answers. ENJOY!!!

"Oh crap. He took the shades off. RUN. Does this mean he doesn’t have a career now? (David Caruso)"

That may be the creepiest picture I’ve ever seen of him. Looks like he’s practicing seducing people like a serial killer would.

If he had a brain he would understand how ridiculous he looks. He still thinks he looks cool doing that. That moron was still in grade school when Robert Stack made fun of the Sunglasses Yank in Airplane!

Does anybody else thing this man looks like an orange lizard…?

Captain Blowme
Uhoh, he took the glasses off. He is now -20 Acting Ability, -50 Emoting.
forge Also, channeling Chester the Cheezy Cheetah =/= acting. Try again fella.

Take away the glasses and he looks like John Mark Karr.

Lol, the overacting reminds me of Star-Trek… Ironically, the shows have about an equal basis in real science between them!

Oh, crap. He’s going to try to act. RUN!!

Was the part where he got punched in the face better or the part where he got killed? I loved both!

The fact that he is even on the air (let alone the lead in a hit show) amazes me. It sure has nothing to do with talent (pathetically lacking). Maybe he knows where the bodies are buried & blackmailed his way back onto TV.

Hi anyone else think he has a HUGE forehead??

Roundhouse kick. Next question?

I think he went to the Joey Tribiani school of acting .. takes the glasses off for effect. Gawd he’s a major douche and looks like an overgrown leprechaun.

This guy is the worst actor ever.

Quote of the day - "It is great that so many people can come together to share an overwhelming emotion...even if it is hatred for another person...David Caruso - bringing the world together, one person at a time..." (

Sunday, February 15, 2009

David Caruso - Caruso Dream Interpretation

Ever dreamed of HoCaine?
Ever dreamed David Caruso?

Nasty, we know. If yes, you should seek help immediately . Because you are obviously in big trouble:

Lieutenant Horatio Caine (David Caruso): If you are a man, dreaming of Horatio means you could be showing tendencies of megalomania.
And, for some reason, you think some people just don’t like you and are talking and writing nasty things about you behind your back. Seek professional help immediately. Better yet, go out and buy yourself a good pair of sunglasses, they’ll make you feel more powerful.
If you are a woman dreaming of Horatio, wake up, it’s a nightmare
Quote of the day - "Wow! It appears that you are indeed the authority on Caruso! Hopefully our body of work will lead to him being trampled by a pack of Rhinos somewhere in the Serengeti...."

Saturday, February 14, 2009

David Caruso - Never ask a redhead...

Approximately 2 percent of the world's population has red hair. Among them Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. Dying to find out if all the "two copies of a recessive gene on chromosome 4" myths are true, but you're not sure how to proceed?
Today we are offering you these ten sacrilegious questions of the Ginger Church that are best left unasked when in company of TV's most annoying/untalented redhead......

10. "Do you dye your hair?"
We are sure Caruso does...even his pubes.
9. "Can I touch it?"
Are you sure you really want that?
8. "Do you know Conan O'Brien?"
He's Caruso's long lost twin-brother.
7. "So, does the carpet match the drapes?"
6. "I bet you have a fiery temper?"
Just ask Emily Procter and everyone who had the bad luck to work with Caruso.
5. "Did you see that 'South Park' episode where Cartman rags on all the 'ginger kids?'"
Caruso videotaped it and watches it religiously every day before he falls asleep.
4. "Mind if I count your freckles?
Everywhere but those on Caruso's Willy.
3. "Do you have to wear sunblock all the time?
Caruso bathes in it.
2. "Can you go out in the sun?"
Only if Caruso has to.
1. "Are you Irish?"
At least 50%. But Caruso can drink them all under the table.
Edited from:
Quote of the day - "I mean, Caruso was called Kit Kat! If that's not the sign of a movie that's In On The Joke, then... well, okay, maybe it's not." (

Friday, February 13, 2009

David Caruso - Ever had sex with David Caruso?

We know, it is a completely gross thought. He is old, ugly, wrinly and just a huge DORK (= Icon of Idiocy). Besides, we doubt he would be able to get it up without one or the other little helper....(Thank God, for little blue pills, right Dave?)

.....Just a random LOLism I made in honor of an inside joke in my circle of friends.
Get enough alcohol into your system...well, let me just say that it involved an entire e-mail conversation about how gross it would be to have sex with David Caruso.
Of course, when he's done having his way with you, he would turn to you in profile, take off his ever present sunglasses, and say "and that's how you crack the case!"...

Quote of the day - No, David Caruso neither inspires fear, or sexual feelings. Only pity. (

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

David Caruso - A douchebag and a dog

It is no big secret that Icon of Idiocy David Caruso likes to be front and center 24/7. And it is also widely known that he doesn't like be upstaged - be it by fellow actors like Tom Sizemore dogs performing a daring feat....

This is NOT your action shot, Caruso. You are rude. You have no manners! Douchebag!


Quote of the day - "Caruso said the lines with all the emotion you would expect from Kelly deciding what to order for dinner, because he was supremely disinterested in any storyline that didn't have Kelly as the focus."

Monday, February 9, 2009

David Caruso - Presumed Crappy

What happens if Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and larger than life diva P. Diddy meet for a scene?
ACTING BRUTALITY !!! at your own risk. A crappy scene between two crappy actors on one of the crappiest shows in TV-history could go something like that:

Diddy: I know the law. You might even say it's my job. Just call me Sean Combs: Lawttorney At Law. [he sniffs the air] I know I am king. Are you?

[Diddy tosses a bottle of his fragrance I Am King to Caruso. Caruso, being Caruso, lets it fall to the floor. The bottle shatters.]

Caruso: Oops.

[The score plinks dramatically for another 10 minutes. Caruso puts on his aviators and walks around in the perpetual Miami sunset. Caruso's hair looks like a soft cotton top of a giant Q-tip soaked through with iodine and left out in the sun. There's a closeup of a knife wound. More dramatic plinking. End.]

Faithful readers of our blog now, the more PR an episode gets the shittier it will turn out, With the large amount of promos we have been showered with in the last hours it is a sure thing that this episode will most likely be nothing but A HUGE PILE OF CRAP...
Quote of the day - "That David Caruso clip has confirmed my decision to give up t.v. was absolutely sound!" (

Sunday, February 8, 2009

David Caruso - Seperated at birth?

Is it just me or does Illinois Governor Blagojevich, who is currently being impeached, look strangely similar to someone else we may know? CSI Miami “star”, I say star in quotes because to be a star would mean you have to know how to act, David Caruso.
Caruso is a graduate of the William Shatner School of Scenery Chewing. The talent is a bottomless pit...The bottom's a talentless shit more like...LOL

Quote of the day - "How about David Caruso? One of the most insufferable goons with a SAG card." (

Saturday, February 7, 2009

David Caruso - Nasty Habits

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso has many bad habits - boozing, fooling around, cursing and spitting on the set. In short, he is one misearble son of a bitch.
Now we find David Caruso in a storage room full of Japanese sex-dolls.
How interesting!
No wonder Caruso looks so wrinkly and tired in every episode on CSI Miami. We just detected the REAL REASON as to why he almost falls asleep while reading his lines...
The old ginger pervert has been busy playing with his rubber toys - night after night!
Shame on you Dave! Now that's really a nasty habit ! LOL.
Quote of the day -"David Caruso?? Slap slappity slap!Can we sandblast David Caruso with termite-infested Thai hooker crabs? "

Friday, February 6, 2009

David Caruso - Shave it, Caruso!

We all know Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is in constant need of money: two kids out of wedlock, an Ex and sperm receptacle Amina Islam have to be clothed and fed. Plus the maintenance for two houses that has to be paid. And ocassional strip-bar visits aren't that cheap either...
Oh boy, playing musical houses can burn a hole in a mans' wallet, right Dave?
According to a fellow blogger David Caruso obviously has found a way - to make some additional cash:

....David Caruso outdid himself this time. Not only is he already an internet meme superstar, he has decided to come out with a line of very life-like action figures of himself saying “You can shave the baby!”
Therein folks, lies the trend-savvyness and mystery of David Caruso.
  • What do you shave the baby with?
  • Where’s the baby to shave?
  • Who’s baby is it?
  • Are we expected to shave the proverbial baby?
  • Do babies need to be shaved against the grain?
Go against the grain, David! Do it!
And the fact that he made the executive decision to let his action figure wear the new Softmoc Emu boots (Uggs are so Jessica Blimpson circa Nick Laghey) shows that he is not only a branding genius, but a fashion canon of our generation.
Watch out Armani! Another bisexual is coming to take your throne away...
Quote of the day - Poor David Caruso. I remember when he was a big hit on NYPD Blue, then left the show to further his "movie career". Guess that didn't work out much, eh Dave? (

Thursday, February 5, 2009

David Caruso - ...a mere 5 percent...

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso - a face only a mother could love!
Please allow us to present you with another example of America's new favorite leisure-time activity: blasting David Caruso! YEAHHHHHH:

“....this guy is a ham head ....What a laff! Monotone voice and one and 2 line scenes and you call him an actor.
Caruso in my opinion is a putz. CSI with Grissom is a show! You and your other 12 friends in here who like this boob, I aint tellin you not to but next time you see this tit turd hold a weapon, think about how stupid he looks. LOL ! I can picture the boob now, pistol raised, sunglasses on, head cocked at an angle...
It appears more to me that Caruso told THEM what HIS character was going to be and not vice versa.... David Caruso has been a no name actor for 40 years and always will be. Just because a handful of you like him doesnt mean hes an actor. Whenever a group of us talk TV actors, its usually a mere 5 percent of the crowd that can stand to even watch him watch him." ....(Dr. Tibbs)
Quote of the day - "...for the rest of us, David Caruso represents the worst of the worst. Or, he may represent the future when we all give up TV. ..." (

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

David Caruso - Caruso's Favorite Fetish Reloaded

Yesterday we introduced Bobby Finstock, founder/webmaster of Pointless Banter , and his hilariously funny post about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and his secret fetish. This article attracted so many readers - David Caruso fans and detractors alike - that we thought it deserves a follow-up.
Attached find the most noteworthy answers to the revelation of David Caruso's secret sexual fantasy:

*cigar smoking, beer drinking lawyer says:
*snatching sunglasses off* I always saw him as a Mrs. Buttersworth kinda dude. I hear Khandi got tired of having to say “I don’t know nothing about birthing no babies” after each of her scenes

*stan says:
listening to The Who’s “We Won’t Get Fooled Again”*
I hear Khandi got tired of being asked to change her name to “Florida”, only to have Caruso grab his sunglasses, clap his hands and shout “Dy-nomite*!”

*Robot Monkey says:
Oh yeah, “Jade” is da’ bomb! I mean, literally. I believe it bombed badly at the box office. It may be a bit of a misnomer to actually call it”da’ bomb” as that title might be rightly reserved for “Heaven’s Gate” or “Ishtar”. Um, David Caruso has been in shows that I never watch and movies I’ve never seen, so I don’t care.

*Trisha says:
My boyfriend has always had the hawts for Ms. Alexander. He loves the sistahs; don’t know how he ended up with someone as fish-belly white as me. Must be because I have really big boobs.
Whenever I think of David Caruso I want to start screaming “FIRECROTCH! FIRECROTCH!” like I have Tourettes. I would do it so much funnier than that sweaty steaming pile of Marley poop, Brandon Davis.
You know these are my favorite blogs.

*Tori says:
Firecrotch made me laugh harder than the actual post. Because EW. David Caruso is gross enough without thinking about his crotch, firey or otherwise

*Vince says:
They haven’t cancelled David Caruso’s crappy show yet?

*Darcie says:
David Caruso creeps me out.

*Vixen says:
Khandi Alexander left because she was tired of having to kiss David Caruso’s bony white arse every time thy had a scene together. And i can’t blame her.

*slackmistress says:
David Caruso looks like he’s made out of Play-Doh that was left out a little too long.

Thank you guys, you rock! Ridiculing Icon of Idiocy David Caruso has become a national sport! And we LOVE it!
Quote of the day -"The Orange glow is special for David Caruso so you won't notice his bad acting and that annoying tilt of head plus the stupid smirk on his emotionless face." (

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

David Caruso - Syrupy fetish

Not surprisingly, people having a laugh or two at Icon of Idiocy Caruso's expense. Seriously people, who wouldn 't? Bobby Finstock, founder/webmaster of Pointless Banter did a great job with the following hilariously funny post:

Q: Why did Khandi Alexander leave as the autopsy expert on CSI: Miami?–Emma Freeman, Fort Worth, Tex.

A: Very good question. The easy answer is because she has a new show coming out on HBO but that isn’t the truth. It is really a little known fact that David Caruso has some very racist sexual fetishes. All I know is that I heard rumors about an Aunt Jemima outfit, syrup, a toaster, and his testicles. Far be it for me to judge but I wouldn’t blame her for leaving the show either, Caruso can’t be that attractive dressed as Aunt Jemima....

Does anyone actually like David Caruso?

NO, not really....
Quote of the day - "CSI-Miami. David Caruso has been annoying since Day 1 and the shows showing his charater (lack of) development should have been taken out to the woodshed and been put out of our miserey long ago." ( )

Sunday, February 1, 2009

David Caruso - Why people don't like CSI Miami

Successful shows have many fathers: writers, directors, producers and last but not least the cast. However, those things are all being put into question when the lead of the show is such a ridiculously bad actor - like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso - that people rather poke out their eyes than watch the show:

....Speaking of David Caruso. God! Why!? What made the producers decide this guy should be cast as the lead character? Am I the only one that thinks this guy should quietly slink away into the Florida Everglades and be swallowed up whole by a hungry alligator?
What the hell is with the idiotic one liners?
Okay, I understand the cheezy one liners began with the likes of Stallone's Rambo character or Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movies, but good god damn, this is David Caruso. The tilting of his head, whipping off his Silhouette sunglasses and proclaiming to the smug, yuppie sailboat owner, that he knows raped and killed the 18 year old college student on spring break, "Oh, the DNA will put you there. Count on it." Then he gives that 'make-you-wanna-rip-my-spleen-out-with-a-spoon' grin before he stiffly walks away.
And I understand that there are writers that make this shit up, but even Stallone pulled it off better then David Caruso.. The point is, even with the written in one liners, David Caruso isn't a pimple on Stallones ass.
And, as far as I'm concerned, Clint was the only guy that could pull off the one liners. Spaghetti westerns, Dirty Harry. Now that guy was a stud in his day, and even now he could still pistol whip Caruso into oblivion with a good, "Go ahead, make my day!"
So Caruso, go away, and let someone that can actually act, that can step into the role and pull off the one liners, be the guy for a while....

Quote of the day - "Tess and I waited on David Caruso when I worked at the Pawn Shop. He really does talk like that guy on CSI... always like he's trying to have the last word, and that it has to be dramatic. Hah." (