Friday, October 31, 2008

David Caruso - Art or just Trash?

We are well aware of the fact, that when it comes to art there are widely diverging views. What is beautiful and a masterpiece for one person, is tacky and pure trash for the other. Or like the old folks used to say - different strokes for different folks.
Pictured above is a David Caruso/HoCaine-magnet-set.
We are don't know who produces those monstrosities or if they are sold in large numbers. We don't know where they are sold. Or how many fans own such a set. (We assume that David Caruso owns a set since he collects everything about HoCaine/himself.)
But if...give it isn't worth the money you paid for. Besides, it is plain UGLY!
Quote of the day -" Oh David Caruso... is there anything you CAN'T ruin with overacting?" (

David Caruso is groan-inducing!

CSI Miami - The one-liners are just as corny on the regular CSI but for some reason they're not as groan-inducing. I think its because of that lame pause Icon of Idiocy David Caruso adds to them.....
On one hand, it reminds me of Jerry Orbach on Law and Order. On the other hand, Jerry was able to get away with those almost all of the time because they smacked of some degree of insensitivity and sharp wit.
Caruso, on the other hand...they just come off as entirely corny.....Miami is a bit of a guilty pleasure. You never have to worry about suspending disbelief during the show since you have to do that well before it starts in order to make it mildly palatable...

Quote of the day - "....I think Hollywood is still reeling from David Caruso's attempt at a movie career." (

Thursday, October 30, 2008

David Caruso, his five-dime tart and one pissed expression!

Recently, Icon of Idiocy David Caruso has been spotted out and about in Beverly Hills. Fame-whoring five-dime tart Amina Islam in tow.
However, something seems to be amiss here.
The Indian/Paktistani/Arabic boy-toy is walking a few steps behind him while Caruso seems to be more interested in his phone than her.
We do wonder what is the reason for that mighty pissed look on Caruso's face? Did Icon of Idiocy Caruso run out of pre-signed autograph-cards?
Now THAT would be really bad....
(Click on picture to enlarge!)
Quote of the day - "...the worst actor ever, strictly tv only, this guy (David Caruso)!"

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

David Caruso vs Emily Procter continued...

This one was inspired by Ausiello's latest Blind-Item which clearly revolves around Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and Emily Procter. We wonder why he didn't mention names/shows in the first place since it is more than obvious WHOM he meant. (

During the last few days we have got a lot e-mails from our many readers openly wondering as to WHY Emily Procter might be so pissed at David Caruso?
We could name at least half a dozen reasons, why somebody would be mad at David Caruso. It isn't that hard. And we are sure, many people who know David Caruso or who have had the questionable pleasure of working with him will find just as many.
Why not let our readers decide instead what the reason of the apparent friction between David Caruso/Emily Procter may be?

As always you have 3 choices!
Emily Procter is so pissed at David Caruso because...
...of Caruso's smell the fart acting.
...of Caruso's well-known temper-tantrums?
...Caruso's urge to be the center of attention 24/7?

Vote often! Because you know, like on November 4, every vote counts!
Quote of the day - "....he's old and fugly but for some reason they always pair him up with these hot young chicks on csi! .." (

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

David Caruso's smell-the-fart-acting

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso not only has mastered the art of one-emotion-for-all he has also has mastered the art of smell-the-fart acting. At least according to one blogger who made our day with this hilariously funny/accurate blog-entry:

...David Caruso. Now obviously, he cannot help that he looks like a leprechaun and, obviously, a nicer person would not call attention to it. But he is a leprechaun, a glue-faced leprechaun, much more glued-faced than my long ago Glue-Faced Boy. He seems like a half-baked cake or like he was raised in a cave with Romulus and Remus. His face screams Vitamin D deficiency. I have loathed the man since the moment I first laid eyes on his drained undead face, in Jade, a movie I remember watching and hating, but a movie about which I could tell you nothing else today, other than those two things.
Watched it, hated it.
Particularly David Caruso. I know he was some kind of big deal in NYPD Blue, a show I never watched, but he was good enough, apparently, to be nominated for various awards here and there. Fine. I have no opinion about his days on that show. And if he really has the potential to be so good, so noteworthy, then what in the name of sweet baby Jesus is his excuse for his ongoing wretched performance as Horatio (pleease) Caine in CSI Miami?
Basically, “smell-the-fart acting” is a form of posing.
Actor’s “vogue”-ing, if you will. A kind of don’t be in the moment, be outside the moment watching yourself be awesome acting. Have an arsenal of tics and expressions rather than letting reactions happen organically in the moment. It’s a self-consciousness.
A cheat.
And a kind of insecurity, too, in my opinion.
You pose and strut and mug when you don’t know what else to do or how to make a moment work. You know, I mugged up a storm when I was in my first play in 5th grade but eventually I was forced to grow out of it by professors and directors who cared for me too much to let me continue on my artistically destructive path. And, to me, to my eye, David Caruso does nothing but pose on CSI Miami. I’ve watched enough of it — I have — to tell you exactly what he does, too, and it would drive me crazy to be in a scene with him.
Because he doesn’t look at people.
He never does......


Quote of the day - "...This redhead is just .."creepy"give him a william shatner acting award..(

David Caruso - Mexico, one-way ?

Yawn....and on goes the never-ending story.....

....CSI: Miami's David Caruso is so bad-ass that he has to import his stalkers from Austria. But now that alleged stalker -- ID'd only as an Austrian woman in her 40s -- has a warrant out for her arrest, the AP reports.
The woman allegedly sent David more than 100 letters, pursued him for an autograph and then sent death threats when he refused. ...
Because that's what you do when famous people ignore you. She's believed to be abroad, possibly Mexico, which is where all the stalkers go these days....

We have been hearing that now for how many months? What else is new? We won't be holding our breath for accurate and up-to-date news hitting the Internet anytime soon...

To be continued.....
Quote of the day - "... lead David Caruso acts as lifeless as the cadavers they're investigating."

Monday, October 27, 2008

David Caruso - The bitch is back!

Today we did a piece on AUSIELLO's latest BLIND ITEM which obviously revolves around - Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and Emily Procter. Not surprisingly, Ausiello's masterpiece garnered a lot of reactions.
It brought also a couple of fangirls eager to defend the more than tarnished reputation of their idol - to no avail. Attacking the messenger (AUSIELLO) is not going to help. Because let's face it David Caruso is what he is....
Here are the most noteworthy comments left on Ausellio's entertaining column...

Shawn Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 12:50 PM EST
David Caruso and Emily Proctor?
Thom Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 12:56 PM EST
CSI: Miami - Emily Proctor and David Caruso...he got rid of Kim Delaney, then the medical examiner left, who's name escapes me but it starts with a K. He didn't last on NYPD Blue...Diva Big Time
wildfyre Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 01:10 PM EST
My guess would be CSI:Miami's David Caruso, as well. I can see Emily P. standing up to him.
ecsmac Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 01:11 PM EST
its caruso and proctor.. Somebody tipped Mike in a column months ago back about this. I wonder what took him so long. to use it. Its really obvious on the show once you start looking for it.
Miss Misery Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 01:14 PM EST
My guess is David Caruso. That guy's head and ego are so inflated it's amazing he can stand up straight.

Drewgo Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 01:24 PM EST
CSI: Miami Emily Proctor and David Caruso FOR SURE....I've been saying that for a year, they never work together anymore...Who can blame her.... :-)
K Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 01:25 PM EST
Caruso...that man thinks more of himself than he really ever should
Emily Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 01:56 PM EST
It's gotta be David Caruso. He was the first person I thought of even though I couldn't even remember what show he is on right now. Didn't he get fired from another show because of his ego sometime a while back?
CSI TV Guy Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 02:07 PM EST
CSI Miami - Caruso. Note the red hair of the image at the top of this article.
welshgirl Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 02:28 PM EST
I think it is Caruso on CSI Miami, with Emily Proctor the female lead. I don't believe they've had a scene together yet. Maybe?
Suzie Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 04:04 PM EST
David Caruso, no doubt about it. What an a**!
Erin Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 04:26 PM EST
So... the picture on the page features a red-head with orange-ish hair. Kind of like David Caruso.
oh, come on! Mon, Oct 27, 2008 at 04:58 PM EST
This is possibly the most obvious blind item ever. It's definitely Caruso and Procter. A lot of people have said that she doesn't have the clout, but she's the show's most tenured female star, and I'm sure more people would have issues with her leaving than with Caruso leaving. Heck, I'd love to see them kill off Horatio and have Callie run the team!

We say its David Caruso and Emily Procter too!

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso seems to have his bitchy moments again. Ever wondered why Emily Procter and David Caruso almost never have scenes together?
One might find the answer in the following article bei AUSIELLO (thank you for sharing this great piece!):

...."Everybody have a tissue handy? If not, grab one, 'cause it's time for another blind item, and this one's so juicy you should already be drooling.
It seems the star of a certain hit series has, to quote my mole, "a lot of rules" about the conditions under which he will work. None of his castmates like this -- it's diva antics, of course -- but only the show's female lead has the clout to say she won't put up with it. As a result, the two have gone from acting in few scenes together to acting in none whatsoever. (In fact, despite a story arc that would have made it nearly impossible for their characters to logically avoid one another, so far this season, they haven't crossed paths once.)
So, guesses as to the identities of the Mr. Big whose Method is so maddening and the one costar with the stones to rock the boat? I'll give you one more hint, then you're on your own: The show has, I hear, "already lost one actress" at least in part due to conflicts over Mr. Man and his master thespian baggage. Your turn. Who are the players in this frosty backstage drama?.."

Our educated guess (and the guess of most of the commenters): David Caruso and Emily Procter

Can anyone tell us WHAT REASON someone untalented like David Caruso has to behave like this? What a FREAK!!!
Quote of the day - "..However, chances are it's CSI: Miami, they've lost cast members and Caruso is a bonefide asshole..." (

David Caruso - Just like a dead mackerel!

This very accurate comment was left on our post "David Caruso - Consumate Bad Actor". We like it so much that we think it deserves to be given room in an own topic!

David Caruso is THE absolute WORST actor, perhaps of all time... he gives new meaning to the term "method acting". His "method", is to play the EXACT same character, in every role he`s ever "acted". He`s so completely BAD, that I can`t help but laugh when I see him, But I can`t change the channel fast enough to keep my nose from furling, and grimacing like someone just hit me with a dead mackerel. I would rather watch Bill and Ted`s Excellent Adventure 24 hours straight, than to watch Caruso for more than 5 seconds....

You know, Caruso plays EXACT same character, in every role because he has neither the talent nor the range to form/create a new character. Imagine, being a writer for a TV show and having to write lines for a dimwit like Caruso ....a nightmare!


Quote of the day - "David Caruso is the single worst actor in the history of the universe...Yes, even including Paris Hilton and Freddie Prinze Junior." (

Sunday, October 26, 2008

David Caruso - Howdy Doody in Miami

When people are asked to render their opinion about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso the phrases they used are very similiar/ always the same: wooden, over-dramatic, always delivering horrible one-liners , "stage left exists" etc.
Personally, we don't mind those repititons , because they are the truth. And THE TRUTH ALWAYS shall be heard, right?
"...I like NY but not Miami. Can't stand that red-headed idiot and his overdramatic acting. He never looks anyone in the eye when he talks to them, and who in their right mind wears all black-EVERY DAY--in the Miami heat?
Not to mention maintaining a bleached white, pasty-faced complexion. Caruso is a complete turn off. "Howdy Doody" out there in the Miami sun, with his "red" hair (yeah, right, like middle-aged guys still retain their natural hair color) and his freckles - he's a melanoma magnet, is he not?..."


Quote of the day -" David Caruso being an intimidating badass. Sure, if you find a leprechaun in aviator shades intimidating. Quick, David, pistol-draw! Combat crouch!" (

Friday, October 24, 2008

David Caruso - Terms of Endearment

Over the last months/years people have called/come up with a lot of names for David Caruso:
* Icon of Idiocy (very fitting!)
* Douch-nuzzle
* Leprechaun
* wrinkled orange
* Pasty-faced dipshit (one of our favorites!)
are just a few terms of endearment.

Today someone called David Caruso simply APPALING.
We like it.
It is such a simple term but it describes David Caruso perfectly. We won't deprive our many visitors/readers of the pleasure of the original comment:

"David Caruso On a Corn Stick. I saw a promo for CSI Miami (no, I don't watch it) that had him front and center, looking like a space alien. There was a comedian, I think it was the late Dennis Wolfberg, who said the key to being a celebrity was to have a large head on a tiny, tiny body.
Is that man supposed to be sexually appalling or appealing to women?
He is not at all attractive to me...."

But then, hardly anyone finds Icon of Idiocy David Caruso really attractive...

Quote of the day - "...Not to mention maintaining a bleached white, pasty-faced complexion. David Caruso is a complete turn off. " (

David Caruso's penis, The Soup and other polls

With CSI Miami's weekly decline in writing, acting, editing and with David Caruso's acting becoming more and more tripe with every passing episode people resort to spoof to express their opinions.
The following are PRIME EXAMPLES of hilariously funny spoofs:

...No doubt when "Miami" goes off the air in 2049, Togo will have paved the way to a Jim Carrey-ish vehicle of his choosing. As for the premise, really if you think about it, starring alongside a penis can't be that different than acting opposite Icon of Idiocy David Caruso.

However, we do wonder whose penis is bigger Caruso's or Togos? Our vote goes to the latter!


The great JoeMcHale of THE SOUP never misses an opportunity to make fun of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. Hardly anyone can stand the way David Caruso portrays the lead character of the show.

Again, WHY is Caruso still on TV?


Do you have the urge to label/express your opinion on Icon of Idiocy David Caruso? You can do so! There are a few fun-polls which are worth to be looked into:

Quote of the day - "David Caruso also needs to find a way onto this list. Thinking about him act makes me so angry that I can’t write anything here. He is truly terrible.." (

Recommended reading:

Thursday, October 23, 2008

David Caruso clearly is facially-challenged..(Among other things!)

I've tried CSI:Miami, but can't really get into it, as it seems that David Caruso tries to be the whole show, when the whole appeal of CSI is teamwork.
...There's another factor between the other leads of the CSI shows - Petersen and Sinise - and David Caruso ...they can actually act. David Caruso couldn't act his way out of a paper bag .

I watch CSI Miami, but I find it forced and more likely because of the Caruso-factor . CSI: MIAMI is the absolute worst show ever made and David Caruso may possibly be the worst actor ever.

What a great combination: fecal matter atop of more fecal matter. A few months ago, I happened to be flipping channels and ran across CSI: Miami. I thought the original CSI was fine although I'll admit I was never much of a fan. Feeling rather lethargic and brain-dead, I decided to watch a bit.
A few minutes turned into more minutes which turned into the entire episode. I didn't even change the channel lest I miss even a single minute of Caruso's sorry excuse for acting. Is it possible for this show to get any worse?
How much of the bottom of the barrel can you scrape?
It's just bad bad bad....


Quote of the day - "....David Caruso with his sad little fucked at birth face..."

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

David Caruso - Oh, Horatio!

A few days ago someone from the group of Caruso fangirls mused that Horatio Caine is solely and entirely a creation of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. If one can congratulate Caruso on that or pity him that he is not able to pull off a better performance depends on which side of the fence you are on . Caruso- hater or Caruso-supporter.

Let's assume fangirl is right , then Caruso created the most unbelievable/ most weird character ever seen on TV.

...David Caruso's portrayal of Lt. Horatio Caine is, very possibly, the most irritating performance in the history of TV acting. The way Caruso delivers his lines is too theatrical, it comes out creepy comedic.
Caine overreacts to suspects, often practically threatening them with death, talks to kids in a manner that goes right through "creepy" and borders on "my eyes my eyes I need to scrub out my eyes", repeats the name of the person he's talking to at least three times in every conversation, comes up with "affectionate" (read: also annoying) names for his team members, and is apparently biologically incapable of looking straight at anyone.
Seriously, if he bends his head any further over to the right, or twists it to look out into the middle distance any further to his left, he's going to do some serious damage.
Oh, and make up your mind - sunglasses on or sunglasses off? Not a difficult choice!...

David Caruso a fine actor?
David Caruso talented?
By no means! David Caruso is the pimple on the ass of mediocry!


Quote of the day - "The character Horatio Caine on C.S.I.: Miami suffers from bad acting-itis by David Caruso (’nuff said there, methinks)..." (

Monday, October 20, 2008

David Caruso - The one to blame

CSI Miami Season 7 continues where CSI Miami Season 6 ended - with exceptionally bad acting and scripting.
Who is to blame for the downfall of show?
The actors?
The writers?
The producers?
All of them?

One viewer offers a comprehensible explanation as to why CSI Miami has become as bad as it is:

"...Thinking about this show is probably a sign of serious mental illness, but I think maybe we're blaming the writers too much. I mean, how much effort would *you* put into writing a script if you knew that every single scene was going to be chopped and simplified and twisted out of shape by Caruso?
He can't commune with props, he can't handle thresholds, and his idea of "acting" involves putting sunglasses on and off, standing with his hands on his hips, and looking away from the person he is supposed to be talking to.
Then his colossal ego insists that he be the one to make every important discovery ("What's that on his chest, Alexxxxx2?" "I think it's an arrow. I'd never have noticed that 2-foot long thing sticking out of his heart if you hadn't been here, Lieutenant. Hallowed are the HoCaine..."), arrive magically (or at superspeed) at every sign of trouble and deflect it with a single glance, and terrify, er, commune with children and Hispanic women in white dresses.
The best writer in the world couldn't make a sensible story out of that lot. Who can blame them for turning to drugs and drink? "..(posted by ANEN)

We think this has merrit! Do you know now WHO most likely is to blame for the crapfest CSI Miami has turned into? WE DO...


Quote of the day - "I’m not a big David Caruso fan and the fact that I love this film despite him is a testament to how great this film is...." (

Sunday, October 19, 2008

David Caruso , that putz...

...Miami has got that freak - David Caruso - from whatever cop show he was on before...NYPD Blue? You know...the dude that has to have his head at an angle every single scene, like his vertibrae are uneven.
.....Although Miami does have some good action and stories, it literally pains me to watch it just for that David Caruso.
That putz is the worst, he had one shot on NYPD Blue years ago and walked off; his career never should have been resurrected. David Caruso = "let me stand here at an angle in my $1200 suit and $300 sunglasses, hands on hips and wind blowing my uglya@@ red hair, and throw off some sneering cryptic one-liner!"......He's a joke.

Quote of the day - "...from neo-noir to a insipid speech delivery reminding David Caruso from “CSI: Miami”, a show which I purely watch to laugh out loud on the actors making a fool out of themselves." (

Saturday, October 18, 2008

David Caruso - It simply SUCKS!

We all know that most of David Caruso's supporters are either illiterate, ignorant or just so delusional that rational thoughts hardly ever cross their mind. Most of them gather at dojo's blog (who gives the term "ignorant" a whole new meaning) or at the CBS CSI Miami Community Message Board.
The more remarkable is it that one of the visitors/posters of the latter speaks up and openly addresses the shortcomings Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and CSI Miami suffer from.
We are sure many of our readers/visitors/fans will agree with the poster:

"CSI Miami was once a CSI-styled procedural. Honestly, it was better when it was a Miami-based version of the original show. Somehow along the way, in an effort to make it more and more "it's own show," it morphed into a poorly-written one hour action movie/soap.
Caruso's character used to ply his bomb squad expertise on the scene, in the lab, etc. He had on gloves. He wore a coat in the lab. He actually LOOKED like a CSI!
He does NOTHING on the scenes anymore, except stand with his hands on his hips, asking in that lifeless, whispery monotone, "what have we got, Frank/Calleigh/Er-ic?"
Then we watch as the others gather all the info, clean the scene, do all the CSI work, then, predictably, Horatio shows up on the scene, (often literally materializing out of nowhere) at the last possible moment with guns ablazing, to save the day. If Grissom or Mac did that, they'd find themselves in hiatus after two episodes.
It saddens me, because as a fan of this show, this all justifies the negative comments, even the mockery that CSI: Miami has received from it's critics. I want the old CSI Miami back, y'know, the one Willie Pete used to hate, not the one he's probably laughing at...."..(posted by csibrotha )

Quote of the day - "... It is the single most remarkable jump in quality I could possibly imagine, besides what removing David Caruso from CSI: Miami would accomplish...." (

Friday, October 17, 2008

...bigger than David Caruso's, if you get my drift!

CSI:Miami - ...This may be the only show that I could rate as crap but still watch.
My lone reason for not liking it is David Caruso.
David Caruso is the devil. Only a lot easier to hate, and clad in less stylish togs.
....David, you make me want to rip off my own toes and use them to plug my own ears. I was going to list off all the things I don't like about you, but it would be way easier to just to list the one thing I do like.
Gimmie a minute.....LOL!
Quote of the day - ".....Oh, and not any variation on CSI - fucking David Caruso's syphilis-raddled face has poisoned me against all forms of CSI forever..."(

Thursday, October 16, 2008

David Caruso's Dating Poll

Another funny little poll has closed.
However, this one is especially interesting.
Because once again Icon of Idiocy David Caruso has proven to the world that he obviously drops his pants faster than our reader/fans/visitors can vote. His latest, still unknown bed-bunny had to wait in the car while old man Caruso was getting a few pumpkins and some love from the paparazzi. We do wonder WHERE does that man find dumb tarts like that?

Anyway, on to the poll/results:

Question: David Caruso is out dating again. After only 4 months he changed women once again. What do you think is his biggest misstep datingwise?(

Poll created: Aug 16, 2008.
Poll closed: October 16, 2008
Total votes: 49

  • Vivica Fox - David Caruso's latest love interest 57%
  • Amina Islam - David Caruso's bed bunny from April to July 2008 24%
  • Liza Marquez - David Caruso's girlfriend from 2005-2007 18%

We all know David Caruso's dating choices are more than questionable most of the time. Who needs women with brains/careers as long as they are young and willing, right Dave? We guess, at his age and with his shortcomings he can't be too picky. The clock is ticking and this replacements replacement will be finishing college.... soon!
Quote of the day - "...AR started as a crappy actor and has graduated to decent actor while Caruso has regressed to high school style acting..." (

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

David Caruso - David Caruso, Cliched

Getting tired of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's lame performances?
Getting tired of the old ridiculous shticks and stances?
You are not alone....

...Though, initially, I was receptive to CSI: Miami, over the years I’ve grown tired of David Caruso's predictable one-line quips as well as his side-winding delivery. Is there a practical reason why he can’t face people head on? Every time David Caruso (Caine) sidles up to someone, I can’t help laughing which is bad for a show that’s supposed to be a drama....

..I used to like David Caruso many years ago on "Hill Street Blues", I didn't catch much of "NYPD Blue". I thought he was okay, but for the past 5-6 years, he just irritates me so much!
But, as time has gone by, I have grown to despise David Caruso more and more with each passing episode. He is so full of his own self-importance...he is nothing more that a poseur now...all he knows how to do is put on those damn sunglasses. I simply don't care to put up with David Caruso's crappy acting anymore...


Quote of the day - "..To be fair, I suppose if I'm bashing those two I really should include David Caruso's questionable acting skills as well..." (