Monday, March 31, 2008

David Caruso's monumental overestimation

Before David Caruso became the star of the weakest part of the CSI franchise, he was the star of NYPD Blue.
The critics and the public both agreed that he was a breath of fresh air in what had become a stale world of TV dramas. .......Then suddenly, Caruso decided he was too sexy and talented for the small screen and bailed on the show.
His much talked-about departure allowed him to make unwatchable films like
Jade and the remake of Kiss of Death that nobody asked for.......
David Caruso - You think he's fug (UGLY) Now? Shoulda seen his bare ass on NYPD Blue. Cheesecake Factory anyone?

.....on David Caruso

I mean seriously.
Where does this guy come off
like a bad ass?
I stumbled across some old movies of him acting like a bad ass in some old 80's bs, and then - for whatever reason - I was bored enough to try to make it through a episode of CSI: Miami.
I couldn't do it, i just couldn't.

Where does he come off?
he has ever done is playing some sort of rebel bad ass cop who plays by his own rules, but where does he ever do anything to justify it?

He doesn't.
He just throws his chin up in the air, and makes some sort of profoundly disappointing statement that a 4 year old could have figured out.
It's like Chuck Norris
(who I will go on record as saying, a great bad ass), without the ability to kick ass. All you're left with is the cockyness and shitty acting.
I just want to know this David Caruso, where is your validation for your bad assidness?

Sunday, March 30, 2008

David Caruso ... the Head Super Cheese.

David Caruso is horrible.

His faux smoldering glare is the most pathetic attempt at "acting" I've ever seen and he employs it in every role. That along with the "get up close to someone, look away, and whisper something threatening to them in a very serious voice so they know I mean business" that he uses EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Caruso just vomits a
constant stream of cheesy one-liners. To cast him as Grissom's counterpart is a travesty to the entertainment world.


David Caruso - F-A-K-E

David Caruso could not act if his life depended on it. He tries too hard to be like Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry, and he tries to act all tough, when in reality Caruso sucks. He is typecast because he can only play one type of character - and a dumb ass cop who thinks he's cool.....

I have no idea what David Caruso is doing when he's portraying the character in one of the most annoying ways I've ever seen. Can't take it.Simply cannot watch that body language . . . it is so disturbingly weird and stupid. I've never seen anybody in real life do that odd repeated posturing he does. . . . setting up a stance, turning his body sideways, then cocking his head sideways, sometimes taking off his sunglasses for more effect, I swear to God it looks more like he's getting all jocked up to take a pee!!

Just as dumbass as he's playing it, are the people directing and producing and allowing him to do that. Caruso is simply ridiculous. The man has no charisma and comes out really fake and sounding like a poser ...


(National Enquirer, Issue December 24. 2007, FRONT PAGE and page 2)

  • Many of our readers asked about this article.
  • Now you can read for yourself what really happened.
  • Now you can read for yourself how David Caruso walked out Liza Marquez.
  • Now you can read for yourself how David Caruso didn't even bother to show up for the birth of his child.
  • Now you can read for yourself about the end of a relationship that was never meant to last.
  • Now you can read for yourself how David Caruso dumped a pregnant (and homley looking ) Liza for a woman more attractive than her.
A tiger ever changes his stripes.
Neither does David Caruso.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Three divorces and 2 dumped girlfriends. Is David Caruso aiming for a Elizabeth Taylor-like (7 divorces) record???
Way to go Dave!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

David Caruso is the king of BAD TV

David Caruso is definitely a cake taker in the extraordinarily bad acting department, though.....with his complete lack of acting ability, personality, whatever.
It's almost like some kind of joke that they have him on television at all. His monotone voice and lack of enthusiam for anything are so depressing....Whose bright idea was it to hire this guy?


David Caruso - Just... tremendously bad!

At 10 pm as happens most Mondays, I have one question on my mind: why in the hell did I just watch CSI: Miami? It isn't very good television. The writing is second-rate, and the acting is, well, less than superlative, and that's being charitable.
The entire cast of the show needs acting lessons, especially my least favorite television actor, David Caruso.

If David Caruso had an acting teacher, do you think the teacher admits this in shame when (s)he's drunk and crying into her/his extra-dry martinis at some hole-in-the-wall? CSI: Miami is replete with bad acting (and bad dialogue) but Caruso stands head and shoulders above the entire assemblage.

Chew the Scenery ( is my favorite way to refer to over-acting. As in, "Did you see David Caruso chew up the scenery on CSI: Miami last night?"

He substitutes a monotone for acting; he whips his sunglasses on and off for dramatic effect multiple times per episode, and he punches his lines like a red-headed step-child.
David Caruso is as bad, or even worse in many ways, as Star Trek-era William Shatner, or TJ Hooker-era William Shatner.

Let's get David Caruso a job as a doctor on Scrubs, or some similar, over-the-top, screwball comedy program. This way his tremendously bad - egregiously bad - monumentally bad - EXTRAordinarily bad acting will be the tongue-in-cheek, high comedy that it should be.

Friday, March 28, 2008

David Caruso photophobia?

David Caruso's monumental overacting can cause screaming fits in anyone ("The only one with jurisdiction.... was the fire" LOL!!!). David Caruso is truly awful......physical as well as his manner of speech.

David Caruso is also a goof with glasses. I've said it since I first watched the show that he was like that. Everytime I watch the show with friends I'm always saying "here comes the sunglasses."
The only thing that makes me laugh more is that he puts them on even inside, like he's got photophobia or something

David Caruso has carved a career with a squint.

David Caruso is a contemporary actor playing in CSI Miami who has a very limited acting range and his most adventurous acting foray is to squint a lot.

Caruso squints to look tough.
Caruso squints to look angry.
Caruso squints to look happy.
Caruso squints to look sad.
Caruso squints when he is shot.
Caruso squints when he gets a back rub.
Caruso squints when he eats a sandwich.

.........David Caruso has carved a career with a squint.

Is David Caruso a squinter?


Thursday, March 27, 2008

David Caruso - Mr. Melodrama-Look-At-Me-I'm-So-Kewl

First off, I love the CSI shows, that being said, I HATE Caruso's acting.

All his character does is state the absurdly obvious, constantly, and if you notice, Horatio the Character mostly wears his sunglasses when he is inside, and doesn't when he is outside. In his attempt to be cool he comes off looking like a frat boy with a room temperature IQ!

I loathe David Caruso.
I cannot abide him. Words fail me in describing my complete and utter disdain for him. I hated him on NYPD, and I hate him on CSI Miami! I always get a kick out of how he likes to play and act like the 'tough irish guy' like he could open up 5 cans of whoop-ass on anyone he chooses....riiiiight....

Caruso is an insipid freak and looking forward to one day achieving "insipid-dom" !

David Caruso - Grinch

David Caruso is horrible on CSI Miami.

He's more wooden than the cast of Star Wars The Phantom Menace and Al Gore. Caruso looks repulsive as the corners of his mouth creep up his hard-worn impish, Grinch-who-stole-Christmas face.

But not only are the one liners horrible, its the exact same delivery every time. I've never seen such bad acting from a star. The only difference in each delivery is when he puts his sunglasses on. Sometimes Caruso puts them on right before the one liner. Or, if he really wants to be crazy, he puts them on right before the set up....

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

David Caruso is physically annoying

Just too good to miss! Sorry, folks but we just couldn't resist!
"......David Caruso needs to get off my screen.
Was he always like that?
All trying to be dramatic and talking slow like as if he was Dirty Harry ? I never watched NYPD Blue so I have no idea. So I was obviously watching CSI: Miami. I don’t normally watch it but dude, this girl got shot during her own wedding…I had to see what happened. .....I was glad that David wasn’t in too many of the scenes because I could not get over his wannabe Dirty Harry impression.
I was physically annoyed. ..."

David Caruso - CSI Cardboard Redheaded dude.

What business does David Fucking Caruso have doing on television anymore? He looks like a dryed up lime. His acting technique is nearly as honed to the bone as Bill Shatner. How many scenes can David Caruso chew up? Shouldn't there be a limit? A moratorium on this?

And his ridiculous character! Horatio Caine is someone trying to be cool but isn't. His brooding is excessive, and his constant staring off into space is predictable.

Then there's David Caruso's inability to find a place for his hands. He's constantly putting them on his hips or putting on/taking off his sunglasses.

David Caruso.....his tilted face, slow drawl and stupid dialog.......after about 5 episodes, this gets alternately annoying and hilarious.....David Caruso is the worst actor ever, officially ...
Sources:, myspace etc......

David Caruso -Why is CSI Miami so bad?

We like to watch TV.
Some of the shows we watch are pretty BAD.
We used to watch CSI Miami.
And that is a really BAD SHOW.
WHY is CSI Miami so BAD?

Three reasons:
1. David Caruso
2. David Caruso
3. David Caruso

We are better actors than David Caruso. He's basically channeling William Shatner, Jack Lord and Kermit the Frog. David Caruso tries hard to create a dark,deep threatening character - but comes out ridiculous and painful to watch.

A fellow blogger said it accurately:
"David Caruso is a jackass. Adam Rodriguez could suck David Caruso's ego through a mud clogged plastic straw...!"
Thank you!
We are in total agreement!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

David Carso is soooo melodramatic....

We also thought that David Caruso (the aforementioned Horatio something) was so melodramatic on this show that he was doing it as a joke.
Now I KNOW he JUST has to be.

Either that or someone on that set is too afraid to tell him that his one-liners before every show are just…just…so… the charts corny

David Caruso just makes my head hurt.

His performance really does put you in mind of the Golden Age of Shatner; when Caruso's doing it, he's so fucking committed to it that you might not even notice how ridiculous and formulaic his delivery is.......

David Caruso delivers the best worst performance on TV!!!

....and there's C.S.I. Miami. Dear Lord.

Remember how when David Caruso left NYPD Blue, and tried to make movies, and how he became sort of a joke/cautionary tale about letting success in TV go to your head?
South Park said it best in their first episode. "Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!" Kyle calls to his little brother Ike, trying to rescue him from a spaceship, and Ike complies, diving off the ship head first.

Trust me, in a few years, the jokes about Caruso will have nothing to do with him abandoning his first show, and everything to do with the one he's on now.

C.S.I. Miami's real title should be "A Bunch of Poorly Fleshed Out Characters Saying Expository Lines to Each Other, and David Caruso as a Cartoonishly Decent and Intense Cop". Kind of a mouthful, yeah. But pretty accurate if you've ever watched an episode. Caruso, as Lt. Horatio Caine, gives the best-worst performance on TV right now.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Hey, America - Look, it's me, David Caruso!

David Caruso is the biggest chode ever -- seriously, you'd think the guy would have a bit less of an ego after dumping NYPD Blue and doing soft-core Skinimax movies for 10 years, but I guess not...
David Caruso as Horatio Caine is a one-man police department.
He can defuse a bomb!
He's a crack shot with his pistol!
He can drive into a building, rescue a hostage, and drive out right when the building explodes! Little kids love him!
Women love him!
Criminals fear him!
Internal Affairs doesn't trust him, because he's too honorable for those sleazy bastards!
He knows all!
Sees all!
Solves all!
He's sensitive and generous and kind but ruthless in his war against crime!

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Which could be okay, but such a Caruso-centric approach seriously throws a damper on the development of all of the other characters on the show, so for a CSI franchise it's missing the boat.

Plus, after a while, you start to get a little annoyed at how Dave delivers his lines - very dramatically, with lots of pauses to indicate how significant and thoughtful he's being, and usually accompanied by dramatic use of his sunglasses.
Caruso has a firm hold on the amount of face time he receives per episode and it limits the other cast member's development of their characters

David Caruso's bizarre acting

Well, for those of you who have never seen CSI MIAMI , I’ve got two words for you - David Caruso. Yes, the legend in his own mind who left NYPD Blue after its first phenomenal year because his ego had outgrown television is the star of CSI: Miami

David Caruso portrays the lead CSI as a complete and total self-righteous jerk. Mr. Caruso’s bizarre acting style is an annoyance. He rarely looks directly at the person he’s talking to and constantly takes off his sunglasses for dramatic effect.
In the Caruso school of acting you take many dramatic pauses, put your hands on your hips and speak veeerrry slooowlyyyyy.

Recently, one poster voiced his opinion in one short but highly appropriate sentence:
The pompous blowhard ignorant Annoying Sanctimonious FUCKWIT! (

LOL...The Spectacals on the other hand expressed themselves about David Caruso and his "acting" in a hilarious funny song/video which we like to present to you today:

Sunday, March 23, 2008

David Caruso the NEXT Hasselhof???

David Caruso is the most unintentionally campy ham on TV currently. Hilarious to watch this man play a tough guy.

Miami CSI -- The funniest cop drama on TV.... I watch this show every Monday and marvel at how amusingly over the top it is.

The breathy sunglasses on/sunglasses off dramatics of David "NYPD Ego" Caruso, the so sympathetic it hurts ME.......I used to think it was just a horrible show with great plots, now I think that a gentleman on IMDB is correct with his post indicating it is a spoof.

When I watch David Caruso, I have to wonder if he went to the William Shatner Drama School with his odd vocal cadences, over the top emoting, and just general wackiness.
Maybe if we wait long enough, we might get to hear The Great Caruso sing...

David Caruso - 75-98% WOODEN

Acting? What acting?? David Caruso is as wooden block of wood!
David Caruso pretending to be a good actor isn't even something I could fake my way through (Even for the sake of alcohol!!!).

I have had the chance to meet many amateur, semi-pro and pro actors and I'd have to say that just about every one of them had more range than David Caruso.

I recently rented the first season of NYPD Blue on DVD because I'd never seen it. I was pleasantly surprised by Caruso's acting there -I'd rate it as 75% wooden, compared to the 98% wooden job he does on CSI Miami.

Also, I'm giving Caruso two points for CSI Miami because I swore I saw him change facial expressions TWICE..... LOL!!!
Source: TV com

Saturday, March 22, 2008

David Caruso - Cartoon Actor

CSI:Miami has the highest ratings of the forensic trio but when it comes to writing, acting, and story-lines it pales in comparison to the other two.

Mainly because of David Caruso....the world's worst/hammiest actor since William Shatner. Caruso has reduced the character of Lieutenant Horatio Caine to a one-dimensional, cartoon super-hero, helpless-child-and-woman rescuing, God-like Judge-Jury-Executioner.

He's so painful to watch it's actually funny........

David Caruso's effusive bullying and more...

Thank God, Schwarzenegger's retired. Now Red (David Caruso) can lay claim to the title of the world's worst actor.

Here's me looking serious.
Here's me looking serious again.
Here's me looking all bad ass with a gun.
Here's me looking serious again.
God, Caruso sucks!!!
Lately, there has been a lot of talk and snarking about David Caruso's ridiculous and disgusting on-set behavior. A five year old knows how to behave better. With the success of CSI Miami Caruso's EGO reared its ugly head again.

Here are a the 5 BEST LINKS (There are many more!!!) for your entertainment:
David Caruso’s ego has grown just as big as the ratings for his hit CBS show, “CSI: Miami.” On-set sources say he rewrites every scene he’s in and instructs the director on how to do his job....
"Caruso asks when, in the scene, there will be a close-up of the sunglasses - in every scene....."
Lieutenant Horatio Caine may be Miami’s smoothest lawman, but according to one insider, the actor behind the character is more of a demanding diva. “CSI: Miami’s” David Caruso stands accused of spitting, cursing and behaving like a tortured “man-child” on set.....
Exactly one week ago today, we ran a fairly innocuous item about David Caruso's effusive bullying of a young director on the set of CSI: Sunglasses. Unbeknownst to us at the time we posted it, this item would generate a tremendous amount of feedback from you....
David Caruso’s ’dramatic’ acting is a trade mark of the hit CBS show, CSI: Miami. On-set sources say though his ego is nearly out of control as he now rewrites every scene he’s in.... Nothing about David Caruso seems to indicates to us that he’s the type of guy who is in on the joke....

Friday, March 21, 2008

David Caruso - Weak actor

Caruso is not in on his own joke.
Weak actors rely on props to mess around with while working a scene, and for Caruso -- that means the Sunglasses.
Good thing his show is set in Miami and not in a city that is often cloudy and Seattle.
The only way to watch Caruso "act" is to pretend you are really watching William Shatner "act".
Nicley put!!!!