Thursday, January 31, 2008

David Caruso - Funniest headline ever!

You are going to ask: "What has this to do with David Caruso?"
Our answer: "Absolutely NOTHING!"

We came across this headline while checking out the news. There was a certain WTF?-moment. When we opened the page we noticed that it was a headline ripped from a previous headline simply put onto a blog-post which not only has nothing to do with the subject in the headline but which - as we strongly suspect -originates in Eastern Europe.....

"Actor David Caruso starts tech Cellulite!"
Too funny.....FINALLY, we know what Caruso's start-up REALLY is about...LOL!!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

David Caruso - The greatest travesty!

CSI: Miami is awful.
David Caruso's "acting" may be the greatest travesty of this young century. You almost can't look away it's so horrific.
When will HIS SUNGLASSES get the Emmy nod they so richly deserve?
LOL!!! We can only AGREE......and we have to ask over and over again..... why is David Caruso allowed to keep acting???....One of the biggest mysteries on this planet!!!

Monday, January 28, 2008

David Caruso - "H" means "Sex addict" in Japanese!

Different countries.
Different languages.
One word. Two different meanings!

"CSI Miami" is becoming very popular in the land of the rising sun. Some Japanese people like to watch the English version of the show while others prefer the Japanese dubbing.
In the English version everyone calls Horatio Caine (David Caruso) by the nickname of "H."

Read and be amused how English words/nicknames get a very different meaning when they are uttered in Japan!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

David Caruso - Quote of the day!!!

David Caruso shopping in Los Angeles - hoping and praying that somone will recognize him!!!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

David Caruso - A costly BUTT!

Honestly, we don't understand all the fuss.
Not only has David Caruso a teenie weenie but his butt is also a more or less disappointing affair (According to women who targeted the corpus delicti at the CES -

Now, the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) said Friday it would sue ABC and its parent company Disney $1.4 million for a flash of a woman's bottom on "NYPD Blue."

In a statement issued late Friday ABC said the episode aired with the usual parental warnings and V-ship enabled ratings. Also, the show "......had been on the air for a decade and the realistic nature of its storylines was well known to the viewing public."

Indeed, in the premiere episode on Sept. 21, 1993, David Caruso and Amy Brenneman had their famous nude scene. And when a D.A. told Andy Scipowicz "res ipsa loquitur," he spat back, "Ipsa this, you pissy little bitch."

Read the rest of the article on

Friday, January 25, 2008

David Caruso - Japan reloaded

We know it has been awhile since David Caruso beleaguered Japan to promote the release of the latest CSI Miami DVD. As always, reactions to David Caruso were MIXED. It wasn' like David Caruso took the Japanese by storm. The following comments reflect the mixed emotions about one-trick-pony David Caruso.
"Poor guy.The others get attractive girls to support, he gets the old Kano sisters. My bet is he will not come back next time ....."

"Bargain basement Japanese talent pimping a bargain basement U.S. TV show. "

"Took them a while to find two thespians of Caruso’s stature, but in the end they acquitted themselves admirably."

"If you ask me, that guy has a hard time impersonating an actor."

Thursday, January 24, 2008

David Caruso - Nothing without his SOJ's....

The following is a very humoristic approach at the question WHAT EXACTLY David Caruso would be without the CSI franchise....
Horatio Caine (CSI: Miami)
Power: None, wielder of the Sunglasses of Justice.
Details: Horatio is the Batman/Iron Man of this list, as his powers stem from his equipment.

Without the Sunglasses of Justice, David Caruso was a struggling actor. He had short lived success on NYPD Blue, left to pursue a movie career like George Clooney, and pretty much failed. Things were looking pretty grim until someone, probably the Slavic deity Perun disguised as a homeless man, bestowed upon him the all powerful Sunglasses of Justice.
With them *takes off sunglasses*, Caruso would move on to CSI Miami-- and make it ALLEGEDLY *puts sunglasses back on* the most popular show... in the world.

David Caruso.......

Some bloggers are just too funny!

Question: "Isabella! What do you think about C SI Miami?"
Answer: "I think that David Caruso is the biggest overactor of all times and I wish your Grandpa would fly over to Miami so he can throw some eggs at him!"

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

David Caruso - Only women please!!!

We are sure you all remember David Caruso's goofying around and hitting on female reporter Kara Tsuboi ( at the CES Las Vegas.

Apparently. the attractive woman wasn't the only victim of David Caruso's hormones running wild. Being the center of attention seems to make Caruso horny.
A blogger who happened to be at the PubCON 2007 in Las Vegas just reported that David Caruso hit on his wife too.
But that wasn't all!!!
Caruso asked the woman if he could take a picture with her. Caruso showed no interest whatsoever to have his picture taken with the guy. ONLY women please!!! (

Huh? Since when does a celeb ask/beg other people to take pictures with him?
Isn't it the other way around?
Did we miss something?
Funny, odd or just embarrassing?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

David Caruso's School of Acting.

After watching the last few (painful) episodes of CSI Miami we have come to the conclusion that David Caruso is trying to teach us somthing about acting (Hear! Hear!):

Rule #1: Never look directly at the camera. David Caruso always looks off to the side, either left or right. He doesn’t even look at the other actor while he’s speaking. He always looks like a bad ass when he does this.......* rolls eyes*

Rule #2: If you want to appear taller, or bigger (since he isn’t an extremely tall man). Have the camera film you from a distance but from almost ground level. You will seem like a giant!

Rule #3 (David Caruso does this EVERY episode) : When you want to say something extremely profound or ‘bad ass’ end the statement by putting your sunglasses on and walk off the sight line of the camera. This is so very very bad ass!
LOL....Honestly, HOW did David Caruso ever get an acting job? He is so BAD at everything!!!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

David Caruso - A role model???

Something to think about!!!!

"There is little doubt that David did, in fact, leave Liza when she was just 2 weeks from giving birth.

He didn't even attend the birth.He has, in fact, taken up with the blonde bimbo from Casa Causarina (Angie), who pimped herself out to him in order to get his membership to the club (which is struggling).

Still say that his personal life does not affect how you feel about him?
How can that be?
How can you say you love him, admire him, think he is great and wonderful, when he leaves the mother of his children when she needs him most?"
Interesting questions.
Of course, there will always be a handful of fans who think the sun shines out of David Caruso's ass.....poor little fools.

WE think differently.... only a COMPLETE ASSHOLE would act the way David Caruso did.
David Caruso a role model???


David Caruso - NO William Shatner!

David Caruso is over dramatic.
David Caruso is cocky.
David Caruso is ugly.
In short, David Caruso is an insufferable tool who's hard on the eyes to boot.

However, David Caruso is NO William Shatner. William Shatner is in on the joke. David Caruso wouldn't know a joke if it bit him on his little white bottom.
Sorry if I made you think of David Caruso's (scrawny) butt........

Sunday, January 20, 2008

David Caruso - Why LEXICON could be another flop!

We found the following article a few days ago. It is very interesting and written by someone with a vast knowledge about what is going on in the IT business.
The author predicts in a clear and comprehensible way WHY LEXICON might not be a success after all. After reading and discussing it with our readers/other people we can only agree.

Noteworthy sentence: "David Caruso doesn't seem to have an idea what's going on...."

Like we already posted in an earlier blog entry the website has too much David Caruso and too little information of the "product/service" the start-up is going to sell/0ffer.
Goofy interviews and odd videos won't help their case either....

Saturday, January 19, 2008

David Caruso - Overgrown Leprechaun!

........Well, all this sucks, but it doesn't suck half as bad as David Caruso from CSI: Miami.

I remember seeing David Caruso in NYPD Blue way back in the early '90s, and he was flirting with ridiculousness even then.
He fancied himself some kind of hottie on that show, murmuring "c'mere" to all the babes, then squeezing them and showing them his red ass.

Then, of course, diva-like, he left the show early, thinking he was going to be a big deal in the movies.
He was quickly DISABUSED of that NOTION.

Now he's back on TV in CSI:Miami, murmuring some more BS and taking his shades on and off, like he's still a big sex machine.
Hello! David Caruso! You never were!
You're just an overgrown leprechaun carrying around a flashlight and tweezing hair off corpses! And your name on the show is Horatio? Bite me, please.

Friday, January 18, 2008

David Caruso - Lord of the man-boobs

These pictures show that in 1994 David Caruso already sported a fine pair of man boobs. However, we have to admit that back then Caruso's ASS was less disappointing and more firm.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Lexicon AND CSI Miami

Bloggers/people have been musing about it all the time. What could someone like David Caruso possible contribute to a compay like "Lexicon" ???

"Star power" and money were/are the best guesses.

A few days ago a link to CSI Miami has been added to the unspectacular homepage. (What do CSI Miami and the start-up have in common other than David Caruso???) There is a PR-piece written by one of the co-founders which amused us to no end:
"David Caruso - Chairman & CEO", Star of NYPD Blue and CSI Miami;.......... a veteran in the industry with 30 years of professional experience and success....."

AHEM; AHEM......we all know that the net (paper) doesn't blush and overstatements are the norm if one writes a PR-piece like that.

The writer CONVENIENTLY forgot to mention the 8 years of failures Caruso has to show for himself. The writer CONVENIENTLY forgot to mention the movies nobody wanted to see. The writer CONVENIENTLY forgot to mention Caruso's show that was killed after only ONE SEASON.

OK , 30 years of experience we buy that.
But 30 years of SUCCESS???? We beg to differ.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Inquiring minds want to know....

Keanu Reaves, Freddie Prinze Jr., David Caruso - Have any of these 3 guys ever played anything different ever?

........David Caruso played the same character on NYPD blue and all those shitty movies that he does in CSI Miami now.

Sorry but when your pushing 55 (Actually he is 52 and looking like it.) you can't walk around like the Terminator thinking you can whip everyones ass. I'd love to see that carrot top get bitchslapped.....

WHO wouldn't????

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Horny David Caruso hits on female reporter!


WHAT do people/ bloggers - who actually have been at the CES - remember about David Caruso's show -off???

The START-UP he launched?

CARUSO'S HITTING ON the female replorter who had the bad luck to interview him!!!
....."Random things? David Caruso with his own internet media company. If you watch this, they don't really have anything at all, in fact he HITS on Kara Tsuboi (the reporter) , doesn't give up and still doesn't have anything to talk about. The best part? His sign-off. Check the link......"

Friday, January 11, 2008

David Caruso's disappointing ass.

Obviously, the CES in Las Vegas did not only produce new start-ups and gadgets but some ground-breaking observations, such as:
.....We went to a party in the Four Seasons attended by DAVID CARUSO. I excitedly called the delegates attention to the fact that the star of Jade was standing directly behind them, but they promptly decided that he had a disappointing ass and wrote him off.......

Small ASS, small WEENIE.....( .........poor David Caruso.........

David Caruso's goofy interview


Hardly anyone has a clue what David Caruso is blabbering about. Even with no discernable talent at all he is a terrible SHOW-OFF.
Are we about to witness ANOTHER David Caruso-MAYFLY???

Thursday, January 10, 2008

David Caruso's weird video

David Caruso has been a very busy boy lately. Next to dumping his girl-friend for a Miami Nightclub executive Caruso is also involved in a start-up named "Lexicon" (Harry Potter, anyone???)

The start-up also has a own homepage. It consists of nothing else than a 3 and a half minute video which redefines the word “weird". David Caruso and two other guys are wearing dark sunglasses and being shot with weird camera angles as they stumble across some desert.
WE AGREE. In summary, the video looks and feels like a cheap MTV music clip.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

David Caruso - Business, Pleasure and Fans

The National Enquirer had it FIRST - Thank you guys for the great article!!!!
Then WE picked it up. - It was just too outrageous/too good to let it rest or miss.
Back in October 2007 David Caruso dumped his then pregnant girl-friend for a Miami Nightclub Executive.

Of course, thereare always a couple of naive fans who refuse to believe it.
David Caruso couldn't!
David Caruso wouldn't!


Now David Caruso spent a couple of days in Las Vegas - launching a new company (with some business associates) . A few blogs/websites reported about it. (However, they didn't say WHOM he spent the nights/evenings with....LOL. )

Do fans finally see the writing on the wall???
Trust us, NO.

Instead they blabber mindlessly about "Business before pleasure." , "Caruso spending his birthday not at home? Perfectly normal!"....blah, blah.....

A desperate attempt to ignore what has become self-evident over the last weeks/months. Like the National Enquirer CORRECTLY stated David Caruso and his girl-friend are separated. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen David Caruso has left the premises to screw another woman. Caruso has a new business AND a new girl-friend........shouldn't his fans be HAPPY for the man???

Monday, January 7, 2008

David Caruso - Poll time!

There was a hilarious poll at the TOPIX site.
The idea itself is so funny - AND in light of the latest developments A REAL POSSIBILITY - that we decided to post it here:

Who is David Caruso dating now?

16 votes
The short brunette? 7 votes 43%
The older blonde? 6 votes 37 %
The face-only brunette?
3 votes 18%

If you do wonder WHOM we are talking about - it is the three lovely ladies that run/manage the Club Casa Casuarina in Miami. One of this ladies is the reason David Caruso dumped Liza ( Take a look and decide which one would/is DAVID CARUSO'S PICK......