Wednesday, December 31, 2008

David Caruso - Book 'em Danno!

We are always on the lookout for the perfect comment about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. We are always on the lookout for fellow bloggers who don't mince their words when it comes to certain things. People who openly express their opinions, like we do.
The following comment is very interesting. The blogger admits that he likes to watch CSI Miami - nothing wrong with that - and that he wishes to be like David Caruso (ahem....well...okay) but with a HUGE BUT:

....I'm watching CSI: Miami and wishing I was David Caruso... but handsomer and more effeminate, minus dumping my pregnant girlfriend.
How would you feel if I looked like David Caruso?
How would you feel if I acted like him... every day?...

We are sure all people around you would be ABHORRED. Nobody wants to look like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso left alone act as weird. Whoever you are we are sure you are WAY BETTER than the sorry excuse of a human being that is David Caruso. LOL
Quote of the day - "...I just haven't been able to get into Miami, though - for some reason David Caruso bothers me. I've always thought that his acting is like William Shatner's, without being funny..." (


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

David Caruso - A case study

Click on drawing to enlarge!
Believe it or not people, but someone really took the time to sum up the utter ridiculousness that Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is in a diagram.
Good work! We like it!
Note the discrepancy in effort Caruso puts into things like quality acting - which ALWAYS should come first if one wants to call himself an actor - and the amount of screen-time time used for posing, props - We are sure Caruso would be lost without them- ridiculous mannersms etc.
The smaller the talent/charisma the more one has to rely on the above.
Persona is a living, breathing entity. That means it needs to be taken care of every few hours. Otherwise it withers. Think David Caruso who seems to have not been fine-tuning or even daring to overhaul his persona for changing times and more competition in the crime-program TV space. ...
Quote of the day - "If it features the voice of David Caruso, I will burn every copy of it.WITH MY MIND." (

Monday, December 29, 2008

David Caruso - David Caruso vs Emily Procter II

It didn't come unexpected.
Everyone who has followed Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's "path" over the years knows that it was just as matter of time until it would be back again: David Caruso's famed bad (DIVA) behavior.
It is like an illness you are born with. You can hide it, pretend to have overcome it - but at one point it will show up again.
David Caruso's latest victim: lovely co-star Emily Procter.
They say there is a huge rift between the uncharismatic lead and the Southern beauty - mostly due to David Caruso's overbearing attitude.
Watching the last few episodes of CSI Miami the one od other may have noticed that the scenes between David Caruso/Emily Procter have become a rarity. And if they have one or the other alibi-scene together it is a far cry from the ones we have seen in earlier seasons.

A poll was set up to ask readers/fans/friends about what they think could have caused the open dislike between Caruso and Procter. Now the poll has closed and we are happy to present the revealing results. Of course, there was never a doubt among those people and us who the culprit in this case is:

Title: Obviously, Emily Procter is mightely pissed at David Caruso. Could this be because of...
Poll opened: Oct. 28, 2008
Poll closed: Dec. 28, 2008
Votes: 21
...Caruso's-smell-the-fart-acting? 33%
...Caruso's well-known temper-tantrums? 33 %
...Caruso's urge to be the center of attention 24/7? 33%

Thank you, folks! We think the results are perfect. There is a good possibility that it was all three things combined that caused Caruso and Procter to be friends no more. We pity everyone who has to work with someone like Caruso.
Quote of the day - "One thing misleading about the ratings is that people don’t have CSI parties Except David Caruso’s family, who’s thrilled he still has a show...." (

Sunday, December 28, 2008

David Caruso - David Caruso gets to the point

Finally! Icon of Idiocy David Caruso admits to what many people have known all along.
Finally! Icon of Idiocy David Caruso comes clear about his acting-skills or the lack thereof. It is the moment legions of TV viewers have been waiting for.... (See picture above!)
We appreciate your openness, old boy. Knowing a thing or two about your over-inflated ego we applaud the effort. Really.
However, we doubt there is anyone out there who didn't know that before. Hardly anyone missed the fact that you are an untalented and uncharismatic son of a bitch the moment you presented your ugly careworn mug on CSI Miami.
We sincerely hope you draw the necessary consequences and spare us TV-viewers the harrowing experience of having to watch you act.
Thank you!
Quote of the day - ...I'd pit William Petersen against David Caruso, for starters. You just know Gil would be sneaky, and he'd get in a few good hits while Caruso was slowwwwly taking off/putting on his shades and 'smelling the fart'. ....(

David Caruso - Menage a trois

First and foremost - we think this is absolutely hilarious. Two Icon of Idiocy David Caruso-fans at each other throats. Curtain up!
The pivotal issue : one fan published a magzine of poor quality and content.
( Amateurish work at its worst. Second fan dares to cricticize author of said magazine. Author goes completely bananas and attacks critical fans. Looks like David Caruso fans - the few the douche has left - can't deal with criticism.
TV couldn't be better!!
As a conlcusion to this never ending story (until the next issue) we like to copy and paste the comment of said critical fan. The comment that had the author spreading her verbal dysentry all over the place. We haven't corrected spelling/grammar-errors since we think those things are secondary at best. What really counts is the content:

"I am afraid if this mag of yours is the best you can come up with, then I think you should have either stuck with the other one OR stuck to being a reader. sorry but this 'Red' is not worthy of anything and is no Christmas present . The writing is bad, and I have been chatting with other people and they cannot believe the amateurish product it is and bad spelling in RED.
Again one professional mag is out, and one very bad mag is out too. And finally,you claim to have people who are professional writers etc. God help them then with the style and grammar of 'RED'.
Btw that is not just me saying that as I have shown the ..copy of RED to professional people, they would NOT even look any further than the first two pages.
As for the ..well you cannot even class it as amateur..project, the layout is terrible and as for the spelling mistakes and grammar well...If that is the level of intelligence Ms Malone is aiming for her in her readership I think her readers ought to be asking does she consider them of low intelligence?
I have also read RED, to compare, and to say I have been told it is written by PROFESSIONAL writers then that worries me as the level of grammar is disgusting and not worthy of even being called 'Amateur'. The layout is bland and even though it is several pages long, the actual number of stuff that is in the current issue is actually around 3 or 4 spread out over several pages. Don't know about being called RED it should be called Crap!"...(Sam, )

Ain't it sweet?
The long and short of it: Obviously RED - no matter what issue - is a complete waste of time. Something only morons would like. But then, people who like David Caruso are morons......just like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso himself. LOL.
Quote of the day - "....and any CSI that doesn’t involve David Caruso is good too."

Saturday, December 27, 2008

David Caruso - Ugly trash the world doesn't need!

The world is full of ugly things - animals, people, clothing items and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso.
David Caruso - a creature devoid of any qualities, manners and sense of style. After all, what self-respecting male in his late Fifties would wear a fugly Walmart-shirt like that? (See picture to the right!)

Obviously, David Caruso inspired some people outside of CBS to make a buck or two . CSI merchandise is inconspicuous and suitable for every day wear ( Miami merchandise on the other hand - which consists mainly of David Caruso's wrinkled careworn mug printed on everything possible - gives the term ugly trash a whole new meaning. According to our sources the T-shirt sells for twenty-five bucks. Phew....

Since it is a known fact that David Caruso collects everything with his image on it it is just as matter of time until the dork will be photographed wearing the above atrocity. We can't wait...trash never seems to get out of just has to look at David Caruso!
Quote of the day - "....Focus on the real no talent hacks out there like David Caruso..."

Friday, December 26, 2008

David Caruso - Seperated at birth?

David Caruso's latest bed-bunny, tart Amina Islam, is more or less a careerless , dumb individual. From background extra without credits to sperm-receptacle and candle-stickholder for a badly aging D-list actor. Remains the question who upgraded/downgraded here? Who could have done way better if he/she had more brains?
Last time the tart was seen out in public she polished the tires of Caruso's Explorer. Ain't it nice to have your own personal Girl Friday, Dave?(

Some time ago, we did a little research on the Internet. For long lost relatives, past projects - in short anything that would show us that there is more to this bimbo than meets the eye. Needless to say that we came up empty.
Until yesterday, that is....
Look at the pictures ....doesn't fashion-queen Donatella Versace look like the long lost twin-sister of tart Amina Islam? From the bimbos' blonde streaks to Donatellas' head fulll of bleached hair. The face, the figure...we think the resemblance is striking...LOL!!
Quote of the day -" The only other show that is worse on network TV is CSI: Miami! I've really tried watching "CSI: Miami" but I just can't do it. I just can't deal with David Caruso..." (!!-This-Column!??-9.30.08:-Issue-)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

David Caruso - RED Special Christmas Trash

There are many things the world really doesn't need: war, diseases, another movie/show with Icon of Idiocy David Caruso and the latest issue of RED titled "Special Christmas Issue" YUCK.


The pre-adolescent fangirl-magazine devoted to Icon of Idiocy David Caruso with the high tendency to bore the Internet-world out of its mind with lame stories, fanfiction a pre-schooler could have written and very silly games.
We understand that not everyone is able to produce a juicy, interesting and glossy magazine that satisfys every need. However, things take a turn for the worse if the author is a fan of Icon of Idocy David Caruso. Said fan likes to neglect things that have David Caruso appear in a not so favorable light.
After the first pointless issue - which didn't convince us in the least - we thought we should give it another chance. However, after going through the second equally dull issue we have come to the conlusion that whatever talents the author may have - it clearly is NOT writing.

In summary: only for die-hard fans. If you are looking for real information, juicy details and reading material grown-up people might be interested in you are well- advised to look elsewhere.

Quote of the day - "..Now all I think of when I hear that song is that @sshole David Caruso...."

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

David Caruso - Bad actor in a bad role in a bad show

Seldomly have we come across such a dead-on comment like the following. It sums up nicley everything that is so wrong with CSI Miami and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso:

....CSI Miami - The acting is horrible and the storys are frankly boring after you've seen them much better acted and written. I don`t really like the original CSI but I understand it's a good show with good actors. David Caruso tries hard to be Petersen/Grissom but he just comes off as a bad actor in a bad role in a bad tv series .
The CSI people should lower their ambition cause they're causing real harm to scripted TV. Overall, it's bad as a tv show as Fran Drescher would be as a singer - really bad.
And David Caruso is the worst actor ever.
He should take acting lessons from Edmund Kayyuen. David Caruso drags the show into the gutter. He is just so horrible. He is always trying to act extremely "cool", but instead he comes across as a wannabe cool old man. ......
Quote of the day - ".....that David Caruso is awful and who cast that walking bag of skin cancer in a show set in Florida?!!! He's a pale red head. It's suicide.... " (

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

David Caruso - Caruso has found his match

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso obviously has met his match.
Finally TPTB have hired someone to guest-star on the show who is as equally self-centered and publicity hungry as Caruso himself.
Sean P.Diddy Combs is milking his short 2-episodes stint at the show for all that is worth. Every little detail is reported to the press . If we interested or not:
"The scene I am shooting today is myself and David [Caruso]. We have a lot of confrontation. I'm like his nemesis."
Really? Do tell!
With continously falling viewer-numbers since season 7 began TPTB can use every PR they can get. And P. Diddy's constant blabberings to the media must be godsend.
Personally, we are less than impressed. Having watched countless CSI Miami episodes we know that P. Diddy's role will be small and a compliant tool for Caruso's one-dimensional character at best. Just another nemesis for Miami's superhero to get rid off. We all know WHO will win in the end, right? Yawn...

For anbody who can't get enough about Diddy's prattlings and exaggerations here are a few links. It is also one of the few times you 'll might see Icon of Idiocy David Caruo's picture on the MTV-webpage:

Quote of the day - "David Caruso - He gives me the creeps. Always has, and his character on Miami CSI is way too cool for him to pull off...."

Monday, December 22, 2008

David Caruso - L'ego de David Caruso

It always depends how one looks at things. Only a small minority of incredibly ignorant cyber-surfers seems to think that a caricature is meant as praise to the celebrity. Ridiculous, we know. Especially, if one is as mercilessly spoofed 24/7 as Icon of Idiocy David Caruso.
Of course, we have to differ between harmless pre-adolescent fan-caricatures and drawings/enactments/spoofs by those who are real masters of their trade.

If someone continously is made fun of - can that really be seen as a compliment? Or is it more a ridicule of the person itself and the non-existing (acting) talents?
We think in Caruso's case the latter is rather applicable.
Who - in the history of TV- has been made more fun of than Icon of Idiocy David Caruso ? Not even the unbeatable William Shattner got/gets as much flack from the media as David Caruso.
Not that it is undeserved. It is the publics' small but very effective revenge for the bad acting/line reading we had to endure over the past six years.
A real masterpiece - and oddly neglected by Caruso's few remaining fans - is the following video about the writers strike and yts aftermath for scripted nightmares like CSI Miami. One even could say it beats Jim Carrey's imitation by far:

Quote of the day - "I would have to say David Caruso. He ruins CSI Miami for me. Another one for David Caruso, without his ego they could get some good actors..." (

Sunday, December 21, 2008

David Caruso - A daunting example for everyone

It is used as a dauting example for everyone whose attitude /behavior starts to become unbearable. Just like kids are warned that their bad actions will be punished for sure it is a warning to everyone who thinks she/he deserves more. In every field of the entertainment industry, sports, business etc. it is used as a broad hint. Meaning - get your act together or....:

You don't want to end up like David Caruso, do you?

We think it has merrit. We doubt Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Jeremy Piven or (in this case) footballer Lucas Neil want to spend the next ten years or so deemed complete losers by everyone like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso:

.....The last thing he will want to be known as is the David Caruso of football.
David Caruso, you will remember, got too big for his boots on NYPD Blue and quit to concentrate on his film career. Then he made Jade. He’s now back in television, on CSI: Miami, having learned the hard way that misplaced ambition can sometimes get your life in an awful mess and what you already have to begin with usually ain’t that bad at all. ...

How true.
Quote of the day - "...and "CSI: Miami" makes be gag, because of David Caruso's ego, red hair, and ever-present sunglasses."

Saturday, December 20, 2008

David Caruso - Caricatures galore

We have to admit we have a soft spot for caricatures. It doesn't matter if artful pencil drawings , colorful high-tech prints or photoshopped pictures. We salute everyone who is able to produce a piece of art like that.
In some cases those caricatures are even better (looking) than the original (person) that is caricatured. That does apply for sure to Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. We have seen countless caricatures of him. Most of them are real masterpieces by very talented artists. Their products are not as hard on the eyes as David Caruso (or his uglywrinkled mug) himself.
The above are three examples of great David Caruso-caricatures. Needless to say there are many more of them. However, those are our clear favorites.
P. S. If you want to vote for your favorite Caruso-caricature, please go to:
Quote of the day - "David Caruso - the William Shatner of this generation. I’ve seen better acting from the Thunderbirds." (

Friday, December 19, 2008

David Caruso - Tagged!

What is a tag?
A tag is a keyword or a phrase associated with a post as a means of classification. In each post, the tags appear as a list between the title and the text of the post. In effect, tags classify posts..(

Today, while looking for suitable material for our blog two titles showed up on our Feed . They immediately spiked our interest:
* David Caruso attacks child in a wheelchair. (
* David Caruso killd a blind puppy. (
Klicking on the provided tags/links we didn't find articles relating to the headlines. Instead we found the answer to the question what would people do if they won one million bucks. We were amused nonetheless.
This clearly shows that people automatically associate weird things with Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. It also clearly shows that people don't shy away making fun of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso whenever/however they can. Obviously, Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is simply the symbol of anything bad, crazy or plain ridiculous.
David Caruso has earned himself a bad reputation: Be it through his rotten on-set attitude ( According to on-set reports Caruso and Emily Procter don't to get along very well!!), his laughable mannerisms and schticks or through the fuck-ups in his very public private life.
That's Karma, buddy!

Since the above tags made us laugh we would like to offer a few funny examples of our own:
* David Caruso caught in Parisian brothel
* David Caruso throws temper-tantrum and spits at female Extra
* David Caruso quitts acting for good...
Quote of the day - "David Caruso works the one-liners and specs. And he works them like they’ve never been worked before. This video has perfectly showcased the entire range of Caruso’s talent in less than four minutes..." (

Thursday, December 18, 2008

David Caruso - Black Holes

Lately in the blogosphere....
The news that rapper Sean "P. Diddy¨" Combs will grace CSI Miami with a short cameo have made a lot of waves. (
It also resulted in a few very funny snark-bites. Enjoy, the latest and by far the most accurate:
Q: So when two bad actors get together, isn't a black hole the result?
A: Actors? I?m sorry, but I thought we were talking about Caruso???... *scratches head* I've only seen clips from that show, but it's enough to prove how little talent that man posseses.....
Quote of the day - "Are redheaded men crazy, too? When David Caruso is the best thing that has ever happened to your phenotype, you can't help but be crazy.." ( )

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

David Caruso - Chill, Santa!

For all those who - for what reasons ever - just can't get enough of X-mas, TV and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso here's a funny video clip by AXN (Asia).
The Carusobot terminates Santa...LOL.
Must make (on-set) diva David Caruso proud that his wrinkled ugly mug is used by virtually everyone for virtually everything...

Quote of the day - "I only voted for David Caruso, due to the fact that he is so far ahead of everyone else in terms of suckiness that this poll should have been titled "Worst TV actor not named David Caruso". (

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

David Caruso - An orange question answered!

Picture : A major douche with pumpkins!
Some time ago Icon of Idiocy David Caruso did a little song and dance for the paparazzi - like he always does. He was out on a Sunday in October getting pumpkins.
Reason enough to set up a little poll asking viewers/readers/fans what they thought about Caruso's more than obvious need to get some attention.
Well, as of today this poll is closed and we have the pleasure of presenting you with the results:

Poll: An orange question
Poll opened: Oct. 17, 2008
Poll closed: Dec 16, 2008
Votes: 15

Who is more orange: the pumpkins or I? 40%
Mine are just as big - promised! 33%
I know, I do look like an idiot! 27%

Thank you to everyone who took the time and voted! However, we have to admit we would have chosen option 3 as the one most fitting.....c'est la vie!
Quote of the day - "...and the only significant cultural contribution that star David Caruso has made in the last few years has been when he was a key component to one of the funnier one-liners in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” (

Monday, December 15, 2008

David Caruso - The problem with Caruso is...

No one is worse at acting than Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. Even absolute newbies outshine/upstage the annoying redhead by far. And comparing someone to David Caruso or his subpar acting is seen as an insult (Just like throwing shoes at presidents in Iraq! LOL!). Thus we can understand that people shy away from comparing someone to David Caruso:

.....I don't think it was anywhere near David Caruso.
In fact - NO OTHER ACTOR on American television even comes close to the hamminess of David Caruso (not even William "Priceline!" Shatner himself). Why else would Joel McHale keep doing his Caruso/ CSI:Miami impressions on The Soup?
Caruso's "acting" style consists entirely of stilted dialogue delivered extremely s-l-o-w-l-y and deliberately, while tilting his head, hands on his hips. Then don't forget that he needs to put on his sunglasses before walking out of frame! ** Cue The Who theme song! ** :-P
Ed Westwick ( of Gossip Girl) is fantastic. Comparing him to David Caruso is downright insulting given that
Ed Westwick can actually act.
The problem with Caruso's acting style is that it's all based on tilting the head forward and making awkward moves, while speaking in strange tones. Whether he's wearing sunglasses or not. To me it seems pretty undpredictable. On the other hand, the acting from Shatner uses emotions, along with a lot of lowbrow humor that is hard to resist enjoying. Which is why I get a kick out of it whenever he states his name.
Sorry, but I'll take Crane over Caine anyday!......

Quote of the day - "...though it's hard to imagine too many three-year-olds watching CSI: Miami, even if David Caruso does look like a red moptop doll on occasion."

Saturday, December 13, 2008

David Caruso - Underwhelmed audiences

There are legions of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso/CSI Miami-detractors out there who need to be heard. And we are more than honored and happy to be able to give them a voice and provide them with the attention they deserve :

....I still love the original CSI, but am frankly a little sick of CSI MIAMI because of David (tilt my head down and speak in a low voice so the director will not realize what a crappy actor I am) Caruso. And what's up with the perpetual orange glow on that show? The show seems to be all style, no substance. Too many artsy shots and long musical sequences with no dialogue CSI-Miami is just plain hard to watch. Especially with David Caruso as lead. I tire quickly of his uber-machismo and the graphic depictions of violence and forensics.There are a lot of us who can't turn the television off fast enough when we we see CSI Miami comes on.
David Caruso is the most over-actor on the CSI lineup.
Caruso has got to be the most ridiculously portrayed actors on television. The camera shots of Caruso, (only from his right side, please, and only with the dark glasses)...come on.
David Caruso, Miley Cyrus and Mariah Carey need to go into the hall of fame for the most obnoxious over the top alleged talents in their craft. A little of each of them goes a long way. Argghhh....


Quote of the day - " was really The David Caruso Show. He was good as John Kelly, although I've never cared for any of his other work that I've seen. It's not surprising that he developed ego problems in that year, since the show was so blatantly trying to present him as the sole star." (

Friday, December 12, 2008

David Caruso - Chin-face!

His REAL face!
Well, we always had the opinion Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is one hideously looking ugly guy. Just watching the annoying readhead every Monday on TV is enough to make one nauseous/barf.
Check it out people! Great stuff!
Quote of the day - ...and ends with David Caruso, blinking into some middle distance while growling a miserably macho line of dialogue...(

Thursday, December 11, 2008

David Caruso - Fact and Fancy

A frequent visitor/fellow poster made our day with the following cute poem made from Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's horrible one-liners. (They say the annoying ginger is solely responsible for them!!!)
Great work. Keep it up!

This is how the world ends
Drive-by, Miami style…
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
No need now, the verdict is in…
The world is too much with us
Frank, it turns out the wave is not the only thing about to hit Miami…
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
But you are about to lose your 5 star status…
I met a traveller from an antique land
Miami has a new breed of criminal…
No coward soul is mine
Yes Frank, a dead body can have that effect on you…
Here in this valley of discrete academies
The verdict is in Frank, but the jury is out…
O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
First he came and then he went…

Quote of the day - "CSI looks stupid, and so does David Caruso, so I don’t watch it..."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

David Caruso - He laughs! Keep the children inside!

We are well aware of the fact that it is always a disturbing sight when Icon of Idiocy David Caruso attempts a laugh/smile. The following is an interesting abstract by a fellow blogger who the the questionable pleasure to watch a CSI Miami-David Caruso-PR-video ( :

......My first realization is how unnerving it is to see David Caruso chuckle. Just as the Bible never depicts Jesus laughing, so "CSI: Miami" never allows Horatio Cane so much as a giggle. Yes, I know the Carus' is human, made of flesh and blood and given to the same spectrum of emotions as you or I, but it just doesn't seem right.
My second realization is that anyone coming to this clip for insight into Caruso's Thespo-bot 3000 acting style will come away disappointed.

Or will they?
Caruso only reveals that he thinks it important to get to the set early. Is this innocuous fact - or a kind of zen koan for adepts to meditate upon?......
Quote of the day - "Cardboard has more charisma than Caruso..." (