Saturday, May 31, 2008

Phrasing David Caruso

my aversion to all things David “I left NYPD BLUE because I was too good for television and now I am here back because I made shit like JADE and no one wanted to pay to see my egotistical ass” Caruso and the insane orange tint (yes, I know it’s Miami and it’s muey caliente — enough already!) make even watching that first 3 minutes too painful to endure.
I think
David Caruso went to the Joey Tribiani School of acting. He has “smell the fart” down!
Caine is supposed to be Mr Supercool, a new Shaft, but it all comes off as a try-hard with no sense of humour looking like a bit of a cock.
David Caruso has me laughing
every time he's on the screen.


Quote of the day: David Caruso - Real Life Bobble Head.Was David Caruso born without any levator scapulaes? (

David Caruso makes us want to heave...

David Caruso and his cringe inducing lines dripping with extra cheese makes me want to heave.
David Caruso - the main star (if you can call him that) of the show is a one-dimensional actor. He of the bland dress sense (always in grey or navy blue suits with no tie), dirty looking red hair & stoic expresion. Hell, he has only one expression; he is the most expressionless actor I have ever seen. Puppets have more emotion that him. Plus, he is a failed movie actor and only seems to be able to do cops roles.
Caruso is a joke!
Though many may argue that his character is the most humane blablabla,but
David Caruso acting really sucks....

Quote of the day: I rather watch my petunias grow in the back yard than watch him. David Caruso and his Botox babes sorry, not stimulating television... (

David Caruso's Dick works overtime

Anyone of our readers who is surprised?
We mean REALLY surprised.
David Caruso acts like a 15 year old who just found out how much fun one can have with a playboy magazine and his right hand. (Thank you, lacyleanne!)
And that at 52! Well, it is never too late to make a fool of oneself, right Dave?
We just hope Caruso's Dick is still ready for action at the end of the day.
First the Miami Nightclub Executive, now Amina.
Who's next????

(Click on image to ENLARGE!!!)

(Article courtesy of National Enquirer. On stands Monday June 2, 2008!!!)

Recommended reading:

Friday, May 30, 2008

David Caruso is just urghh...

David Caruso - How this guy gets work is beyond me.
A more mannered, vapid, overrated, scenery-chewer I've not seen in some time!
A perfect choice for a serious "actor" who embodies our current standards of "entertainment." I hear that he'll be making a "special appearance" on "American Gladiators" next week! ..LOL
He really bugs me on CSI Miami. Doesnt his neck hurt after a long day of taping?
One of my favorite fantasies is getting David Caruso's Horatio in the same script with Vincent D'Onofrio's Bobby Goren and turning them both loose. You have almost-comatose Horatio and almost-manic Goren. The irresistable force and the immovable object....

Quote of the day:
What a total douchebag. I hate this guy and hate him even more now.

David Caruso Blows!

David Caruso. Honestly, I've seen better acting in a junior high play. His lazy drawl and smug attitude makes me want to throw things at the screen.
I can't understand for the life of me how anyone finds that guy talented. He sucks big time. That is the worst show on tv. He doesn't even act. He just mumbles a few lines every now and then and then strikes a ridiculous pose.
At least the writers are smart enough to know this so they limit his screen time. I have never been able to watch that show for more than 5 minutes. The minute he appears I have to change the channel. HE BLOWS!!!


Quote of the day:
Do people actually consider David Caruso an actor? (

David Caruso - Redheaded prick

This cute little post caught our eye when we went online. We knew, we just had to add it to our collection.
Thank you for the first laugh of the day!

David Caruso, the redheaded prick from CSI Miami was reportedly handing out pre-made autographed photos of himself. I could understand if he was actually big these days but everyone thinks he’s a giant tool bag. At best Caruso is a C List celebrity so instead of handing out pictures of yourself that no one wants. Try working on your tan.

Quote of the day:
I'm fairly sure that david caruso is the least attractive man in the whole universe

David Caruso - The camera-whore

We are always more than amused if he read stupid little pieces like: "How do they tolerate?" "How can they live with cameras shoved into their faces?" Blah, Blah, Blah.
It is amusing to see the naivite behind this ignorant questions.

David Caruso (D-list actor, 10 years of failures) like most celebrities
, seeks the cameras.
He likes them.
He plays to them.
He uses them
whenever they see fit.

We are sure, David Caruso would "suffer" much more if nobody took a second glance at him.
If nobody was interested in the the pre-signed autographcards he ridiculously always carries with him.
A coincidence that paparazzi caught David Caruso and his lovely financee, actress Amina Islam, on LA airport? There are no such things as coincidences. Maybe Caruso called them himself to let them know he would be there. Stranger things than that happened.
We agree with the "Defamer". David Caruso posted only too willingly for the cameras which tells us that he sought them out. We think he could as well worn a sign around his neck. "I'm David Caruso and I' m hungry for some attention...LOL

Quote of the day: David Caruso :
"Whatever you guys do, don't take any shots of me pulling out the 8x10 color glossies and Sharpie I carry with me at all times. Everywhere. No matter what. Seriously."

Thursday, May 29, 2008

David Caruso didn't get the joke...

We always knew David Caruso is not the brightest puppy of the litter.
Especially when people make fun of him.
When Caruso is the butt of the joke.
The guy just don't get it.
It is alwas amusing to see how seriously David Caruso takes himself. Way too seriously...
On TMZ TV tonight the reporter asked a bunch of mock-questions.
Like, if Caruso printed those cards out at Costco. And if he really signed those cards himself....
We had to laugh out loud.
Dave babe, do you really think the guy cared? He thinks you are a nutcase. And many other people do too...

Quote of the day:
Conan's dad looks pretty good for his age.

Fan gets autograph-attacked by David Caruso!

Via Defamer we have learned about another weird event re David Caruso. It appears as if the red-haired egomaniac idiot thinks that everybody who as much glances at him wants an autograph.
Read and be amused:

Okay - my friend was working, and came out to see an exterior shoot for CSI: Miami. He thought, "Hey cool," and stood for like 30 seconds looking at the set, lights, etc. He looks to his right and sees David Caruso a foot away, staring at him. He smiles politely and David Caruso pulls a headshot out from nowhere, signs it, hands it to him silently and walks away.
(Posted by juniperjenny on


Quote of the day:
Someone should have asked him to autograph a can of Diet Pepsi!

David Caruso - ME and MY AUTOGRAPH-CARDS

CSI: Miami star David Caruso was more than willing to pose for photos with fans of the popular CBS series. Caruso even rattled off a few of his beloved one liners while taking his trademark sunglasses on and off.

One fan took the rather surreal experience to the next level by playing the series' theme song on their phone. Caruso laughed, then put on sunglasses and said, "That's the sound of me missing my flight," while the phone played the ringtone again.

My friend got randomly autograph attacked by Caruso. I need to tell him it was part of a larger spree...


Quote of the day: "Umm, excuse me Mr. Caruso, could you step over to your left for just on second? We're trying to get a shot of Jimmy Smits walking down the concourse."

David Caruso - NYPDouche and CSILoveMyself

Question: David Caruso carries autographed photos of himself in his jacket pocket wherever he goes. Who does that!?!?
Our answer: A total douchebag. He is a self-enamoured asshole!

Here are a few reactions of readers (Needless to say that we AGREE with ALL of them!):
  • What a total douchebag. Is he kiddin', I wouldn't want SH*T with his name or pic on it.....
  • What an A-Hole. With an ego as large as David' is amazing that the man is still working!
  • I wonder if he's ever considered having those sunglasses surgically removed........
  • I just can't imagine how NYPD Blue survived without him....that Howdy Doody looking Mf-er.
  • I think he's an arrogant jerk...
Video courtesy of TMZ!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

David Caruso - Master of awfulness

I can’t believe people watch CSI: Miami.
It's becoming a masterpiece of bizarre extremist melodrama.
David Caruso is one of the worst performers in any medium.
He's a master of awfulness!
David Caruso may have been a good actor at one time, but now he's fallen into a rut. He does the same things over and over again. I wonder if David Caruso is actually a Disney animatronic figure???

Quote of the day: I'll partially concede - it's true, it's not David Caruso's fault he's Ginger. It IS his fault he's an asshole.

David Caruso.....

David Caruso Leaving NYPD Blue...
I never liked this guy in anything he ever did. All of a sudden he believed he had some incredible clout in Hollywood. . .he'll be coming soon to a late-night TV movie near you. . .LOL!
NYPD Blue got much much better after this no talent louse left. He slipped out of his contract and was barred from the small screen for awhile because of it. Personally, I think his head just got so big they couldn't shoot scenes with him with one or more other actors.

Since his dreams of major stardom bombed, I see he's high tailed it back to the tube. I don't really know how this all affected his acting career
in the long run. However, I do think his acting is still pretty affected.
This was probably the best thing that did happen to NYPD Blue.

Caruso should do ALL of us a favor and leave television and entertainment all together...a talentless hack..

Quote of the day:
Caruso should've have been on 24 because he could have played Jack's retarded bro..(

David Caruso - Poseur du jour

David Caruso "CSI Miami". His over-emoting is almost comical.
*Poseur du jour*
Caruso made just one wrong move in his career: making room for Jimmy Smits. Clooney made one of the best, that is what Caruso was trying to do but failed in the worst way. I was just reflecting on the irony of him being too good for TV, walking out, failing at movies and returning to what is essentially the same show he walked out on, but a much, much worse version. Caruso's acting is downright Shatner-esque.

Quote of the day: For those of you interested in the chronology of the "David Caruso head-tilt," it's alive and well. He cocked his noggin' to the right about 29 minutes into the episode...... (

David Caruso is my bitch




That's it. No depth to the character at all.

David Caruso
is a terrible actor. He acts like Dev Alahan of Corrie would if he were Horatio! CSI: Miami is a N.A.R. show - "No Acting Required".
seems tame to describe Caruso's one note performance. I stopped watching CSI:Miami during season 2 when I could no longer stomach him. I wish CBS would shake up the show by replacing
Caruso with someone who has more acting range and charisma.
What's Benjamin Bratt doing these days?



Quote of the day
: David Caruso:
"I wear my sunglasses at night. I wear my sunglasses at night.I wear my sunglasses at night
..." (

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Clownface David Caruso

...oh david clownface. you are so ....

That David Caruso!

He's been on my blechhhh list ever since he ditched NYPD Blue back in the day. Now he's playing that same low-talking mumbly guy, so boring.

Like many, once I stopped expecting anything from Caruso (acting wise), I was better able to appreciate the anomaly th
rat is CSI: Miami. The show has turned into a poster boy list of bad acting, bad scripts, and most of all, David Caruso thinking he's Lionel Barrymore.
I didn't mind David Caruso on NYPD Blue probably because he was surrounded by people who could actually act and it wasn't just about him. He is complete ham on Miami
. Caruso is a Hollywood cautionary tale!! He needs to go...


Quote of the day: ...Ahh, the glory days. When men were men, gas was cheap(er), and David Caruso wasn't aging like a raisin while patrolling the beaches of Miami. (

David Caruso - "Sorry, lost interest..."

We are sure, EVERYBODY remembers the funny/hilarious report by "onsetsnitch" on DEFAMER. Especially, the part where the insider talks about David Caruso's ridiculous shticks, habits.
Now we have the report of someone who was actually invited to the set (he won it in a charity auction) and what he reports is not only in accordance what has been reported by the Defamer/Onsetsnitch (Thank you for telling!!!), but it adds another piece to the ridiculous enigma David Caruso is - on and off camera. Enjoy....
Jim took this moment to tell me Caruso is very .... focused and that anything that takes away from that focus "will destroy us". But don't be nervous, he says. We were going to do a napkin thing but we nixed it so as to not break Caruso's focus. ....They shot the scene about 8 times. I liked when they were shooting and Caruso suddenly said "Sorry, lost interest" and they had to do another take...( )

What a freak!!!

David Caruso - A viewers verdict

We found the following comment while searching the net. We knew we just had to add it to our collection because it is a nice, true statement. LOL.
We like that.

Of all the
CSI shows though, I think CSI Mami annoys me the most, primarily because they're trying to pass David Caruso as a tough guy. I suppose with a name like Horatio Cane his character would no doubt have had to toughen up some or he would have spent all his formative years locked in his locker without lunch money, but still.
I mean, I bet even Hannah Montana could kick his skinny white ass...
Caruso should get a girlfriend that is his age--much younger girlfriends only make him look old and desperate......(We can't argue with that!)

Quote of the day: When "CSI: Miami" star David Caruso finds out that Neanderthals had red hair, he smiles enigmatically, puts on his sunglasses, and stares out at the coastline. (

David Caruso is the rub.

Caruso is the most uh...uh...uh...unappealing character on TV.
Uh...nothing worse than an ugly red head unless he's an ugly redhead named
David Caruso who uh...thinks he's
First time I saw him was in RAMBO. Never imagined him to be able to carry out leading man status.
Caruso play Caine is trying. I do not understand his style but it reminds me of Loyd Nolan trying to be the character Mike Shane back in the 50's.
show is OK but Caruso is a rub. What he does use to be called overacting and is usually done in comedy. It just does not fly in a crime drama.


Quote of the day: You don't need jaded stalkers in order to get the Caruso bashing going on a blog.Caruso gets it started by being Caruso.

Monday, May 26, 2008

David Caruso's bad dialouge massacre

Horatio Caine is the WORST character on TV...he is the Goober of crime dramas. And David Caruso is the Worst charicature of an actor since...well, I can't think of anyone worse! His very buffoonish appearance on the screen is cringe-inducing, and his monotone delivery is embarrassing to see and hear.

David Caruso's over-the-top intensity makes us watch CSI Miami for the same reason we used to catch
"Walker: Texas, Ranger" it's charicature of cartoon dimensions.
This show is overshadowed by David Caruso's horrible 'acting' style. No human actually speaks with so many strange inflections and pauses. Each episode would only be 20 minutes long if Caruso didn't take an eternity to utter every one of his lines.

Quote of the day:
And boy does Caruso massacre the bad dialogue! You really don't think it can be as bad as it is......(

What is David Caruso thinking?

Look at the above picture and tell us what comes to your mind when you look at David Caruso's incredible stupid and goofy facial expression. What might the worst actor to ever grace the TV- screen have been thinking at just that moment?

...we have the answer...LOL..or at least a few SUGGESTIONS! LOL
  1. Damn! I just peed my pants!
  2. 3 Ex-wifes, three kids, alimony, palimony, do I get out of this mess?
  3. It is good to be ME - or so I tell myself everyday....
  4. I'm a GOOD actor, I'm a GOOD actor, I'm a GOOD actor...I just wan't those damn critics go away forever!
  5. The girl last night really sucked....
  6. Next season I 'll get an EMMY - or I'll quit!!! I swear!
  7. Mirror, mirror on the wall? Who is the coolest of them all? Meeeeeeee!!!!
  8. Ah shit, I shouldn't have eaten that darn Chilli last night!
  9. Where is my diet Coke, Berkley!
  10. What should I do? I'm a grown man with red hair!!!!

Quote of the day: David Caruso sucks balls. Always has. (

David Caruso - Bad acting weirdo!

Horatio Caine is just a ridiculous character, and David Caruso is such a weirdo.
I've seen two episodes of CSI: Miami and almost every line
David Caruso says is like the bad L&O one liners, but 25 times worse.
God he's horrible.
He's more wooden than the cast of Star Wars The Phantom Menace and Al Gore. David Caruso was a crappy pick for the lead of the show...he is such an over actor in this show its not even joke worthy.


Quote of the day: "Does he look orange when you watch that show? I think they use like weird filters. His face looks orange every time I go past that show." -- Mike the Associate Producer, trying to figure out David Caruso's odd hue on CSI:Miami (

Sunday, May 25, 2008

David Caruso - Ugly, ugly, fug face

CSI: Miami is a terrible show; it has some of the most terrible acting in the genre with incrediebly self-righteous moralizing non-believable story lines married to painfully expositional dialogue and the most inane computer interface fantasizing ever seen.
An actor who, if he were a woman, wouldn't be working in television, is
David Caruso. I can't watch CSI Miami because of him and his ugly face and stupid ass poses. Nobody comes comes close to his campy “what’s Darth Vader doing as a cop in Miami?” - portrayal of Horatio Caine.
Caruso's freakishly unemotional acting is laughable at best. He always speak to someone turned slightly to the side; why must he put his hands in his hips like a pudgy superhero?
I like C.S.I., but not C.S.I.: Miami, because
David Caruso fills me with a seething rage so extreme, it makes me want to beat up old ladies at the Jewel....
Caruso,....ugly,ugly fug face.

Quote of the day:
I don’t think all red-heads are vampires. That said, Carrot Top, David Caruso and Nicole Kidman clearly are. LOL! (

David Caruso, Google and a more than appropriate comment..

Just for fun we googled "David Caruso is a loser" and came up with staggering 21.600 entries!
Hence, there must be a few more more out there who are grossed out/annoyed by David Caruso and his ridiculous performance that some poor souls losely call "acting"...

Here is one of the countless amusing examples of what kind of feelings they expierence when they happen to watch David Caruso on TV! LOL:

A lot of you don't like David Caruso.
Caruso "shot himself in the foot" years ago. His limited career is more his own doing.
I fucking hate Caruso and the only time I've enjoyed his performance is when he was a panzy ass rookie cop in Rambo: First Blood. He played a little chicken shit cop and it is soo much funnier than the fart that comes out of his mouth on CSI: Miami.
I wanna shoot my TV everytime I see him on CSI Miami. No one better than David Spade to make fun of such a loser.....

Hear! Hear!