Sunday, June 29, 2008

David Caruso - You've got mail!!!

Just imagine, somebody would have sent the above postcard to David Caruso....kinda mean, right?
However, if you look at David Caruso's latest arm-candy/tart/bed-bunny you can't shake a certain impression of ....

Well, we know that our readers/commenters are all very intelligent and witty fellas. Everybody has a healthy/good imagination. We leave it up to you to figure out what we mean...LOL

Quote of the day:
Actors gotta be fluid creatures– be able to take on a persona, squeeze it dry, then leave it behind. Not every actor is made of that ilk
David Caruso).

David Caruso - Freakin' annoying...

The thing that gets me is how David Caruso ALWAYS tilts his head when he talks. Freakin annoying,...
He was on NYPD blue for one season. Then he said he was too good for TV and was only going to do movies. He made a few that flopped and then decided maybe TV wasnt so bad after all!!!
What a moron!
That guy is deffinately over impressed with his own importance.
I don't watch the show,I can't stand him. So I refuse to watch the show
the dw watches a comedy show called "The Soup",- because they make fun of him!

Quote of the day:
David Caruso casts a long shadow. Years after the infamous splitter infamously split from NYPD Blue, his name is still a punch line...(

David Caruso - Cheesy to the max

bigwhack.gif The Miami one is even more laughable. David Caruso plays his cop character as though he is playing Hamlet at the Globe Theatre.
His overacting is supremely embarrassing and I don't understand why the director doesn't rein in his theatrics - the hands on hips, soulful gazes into the middle distance, etc.

nd what about when he repeats the same line twice for effect?
Soooo cheesy
tongue.gifthat faux intense line repeating trick is cheese to the max.
I loved him in his first season of NYPD Blue, but since then I have realised how incredibly badly he overacts. I wish someone would tell him that his character, Ichabod Crane, or whatever the hell his name is, is NOT Hamlet. He is playing a hack character in a bad TV cop drama, not the most tragic character in English literature....



Quote of the day:
...Yes I would disown my brother if he pulled something like what David Caruso has done, because I don't agree with anyone (man or woman) doing something like this. ... (

David Caruso - Failures pave his way...

We would like to use this opportunity and show our readers the difference between David Caruso fans and people who still haven't lost the ability to think clearly. In the following we compare the biased opinion of a David Caruso-fan and the unbiased intelligent opinion of someone who isn't smitten by the meadiocre talented blank-of-wood actor. The difference is startling. It shows that some fans obviously think the sun shines out of David Caruso's bony arse.
Rest assured folks, IT DOESN'T...


...I only state the facts.I might also add that he is a failed businessman and an alcoholic. Of course he is dissatisfied with his life.His every act is indicative of disillusionment and dissatisfaction....
COLE: You are right on the spot....
Caruso-Fan.....Failed businessman at what, exactly?Are you speaking of Lexicon? Well you've not been keeping up then, have you? Streaming Media dot com article from June 6, 2008
YOU MEAN THE PR-ARTICLE with a lot of undeserved praise for Caruso? Does a PR-article equate with success??
Caruso-Fan.....His product is due out by the end of the year.
:rofl: HIS? I thought there were 3 partners. Caruso is just a cardboard figure for the company. REMAINS TO BE SEEN . Besides ANOTHER VERY WITTY POSTER VOICED HIS DOUBTS ABOUT LEXICON DIGITAL - (
Caruso-fan: Are you speaking of "Steam?"They have three stores in or around the South Beach area..
Caruso is only a"Silent Partner" - collecting money at the end of the year. Success? The shop on Sunset doesn't stand out from other shops in South Beach. Their merchandise is nothing special. Caruso has no part in its alleged success ...
Caruso-fan: he took care of his alocholism years and years ago, so he's certainly not an alcoholic anymore these days.
Wrong.Once an alcoholic always an alcholic. You just can't "take care" of an addiction. It stays with you the rest of your life. So, Caruso can be deemed an ALCOHOLIC. Just look into his careworn his face. Another failure for a born loser...

Quote of the day: Let him stay dead. I watch the final were the dumb poop gets shot and I said to myself thank god now maybe they will hire someone that can act. (

Saturday, June 28, 2008

David Caruso - Greasy mome

I seriously cannot stand Diavid Caruso/Horatio Caine.
As a fan of the original CSI, at first I thought I didn't like him because he just wasn't Grissom, but now that I've given the show a chance, I've just decided he sucks.

I hate the stupid sunglasses gimmick at the beginning of EVERY episode, and his line-before-the-theme-song is always cheesy and ridiculous (At least Grissom quotes something most of the time).
His voice
sounds like he's trying WAY too hard to sound cool and edgy (I've heard that's just his normal voice, but still, it bugs me). He always stands the same way - hands on his hips on his shirt with the jacket behind his arms - and it makes him look simultaneously frumpy and like a greaser poseur.

I seems like every episode I watch is nothing but David Caruso's badly memorized dialogue (you know how WIlliam Shatner pauses funny and talks slowly? David Caruso is like him, but in reverse - dramatic pauses for no reason, but everything else delivered too quickly)


Quote of the day:
....1 Caruso being the amount of pain David Caruso feels when contemplating having voluntarily left NYPD Blue to pursue his "movie career". It's the basic metric of agony.....(

David Caruso goes Star-Trek

We search the net for noteworthy comments/articles/reviews on David Caruso daily.
More often than not we stumble across very interestng, insightful and accurate comments and critical reviews. The following post/review very clearky belongs to the group of the "must reads".


CSI: Miami has succumbed to full-fledged Star Trek Syndrome.

This disease consists of two parts.

First, the delusion that they, the HEROES, are righteous, incorruptible demigods, angels of justice, protecting the poor, helpless innocents from either the machinations of the BAD GUYS or from their own ignorant foolishness.

The second part of Star Trek Syndrome is the unshakeable belief that they, the HEROES, are the only ones who can accomplish this task. For Star Trek fans, does the phrase “the only ship in the quadrant” inspire any eyerolls? This is how Star Trek Syndrome gets its name.

Now, this ailment afflicts a huge number of Hollywood films and prime time dramas to varying degrees, but it has struck CSI: Miami particularly acutely, and David Caruso’s Horatio Caine has been its chief victim. How many BAD GUYS has he dispatched with his sidearm? How many times has he made a righteous, bold statement as he puts on his sunglasses? How many times has he gone out of his way to protect the innocent (even when they did not ask for it)? Thanks to Star Trek Syndrome, Caruso’s performance has devolved into self-parody. Anyone can imitate a “Shades of Justice” moment.

Does anyone remember when CSI: Miami actually involved some measure of science, ahead of Horatio’s trigger-happy action-heroism? Now, I know that this is one of the most popular TV shows in the world, but do they need to inspire quite so many eyerolls during the course of an hour?

I have long since given up watching CSI: Miami.

Quote of the day:
... You do have to put up with that shit head David Caruso but you'll deal...

Friday, June 27, 2008

RE: David Caruso......

re; David Caruso. Can anybody tell me....
What the appeal is?
He looks like a leprechaun and he's a pitiful actor. I might actually watch CSI MIami if it wasn't for him.


Episode "Manhattan Manhunt"
- That episode is great for many reasons but mostly because it is a crossover ep with CSI:Miami (which I LOATHE) and it PROOFES that David Caruso sucks even more when he has to act along side the great Gary Sinise.

I hate CSI:Miami. So stupid.
Regular CSI, sure. I enjoy. I don't watch it religiously like NY, but I like it...George Eads makes it worth watching. But Miami? I could care less about their characters. I've TRIED to watch it, but they just aren't likeable to me.


Quote of the day:
The charms and/or supposed acting virtuosity of Mr. Caruso has always been completely, totally, and utterly lost on me, from day one....(

Thursday, June 26, 2008

David Caruso the Troglodyte!

Today we have the pleasure of presenting you a post by a former David Caruso Fan. Sugar-daddy David Caruso is making a complete fool of himself with his latest Pakistani/Indian/AlQuida-tart Amina Islam. People shake their heads in disbelief and are disgusted.
Who can blame them?


I used to be a David Caruso fan, but now I hate him.

How could he dump Liza the mother of his two kids for a fugly troglodyte. She's not even a real acress, plus she's fat, I've seen them on the beach together, she looks like a bloated whale.
Poor Liza is now at home taking care of the two kids alone while the pig is off doing the troglodyte. Poor little Marquez has probably turned to Liza and said 'Where's daddy? Doesn't he love us anymore?' What can she tell him considering he'd rather spend his time with the troglodyte than his own kids. And now I've seen him sporting a ring, has he got engaged to the troglodyte? What was Liza a fill in gap after Margaret and he got her pregnant! He must've been thinking 'Oh s**t she's pregnant! Spose I'd better stay with her.' Then she fell pregnant with Paloma and he must've thought 'Oh f**k now I'm trapped.' Then he meets the troglodyte and see's an escape route, never mind the pain he causes to Liza and those poor kids. And then you lot defend him, what is he a bloody national treasure?! No his a sad old b**stard desperately trying to hold onto his non-existant youth. I hope Liza takes him to court for maintenance payments and screws him for everything his worth.

David your a pig and it's your poor kids that are suffering because of your selfish womanising ways, one day your gonna end up a sad, lonely, unloved old man and you'll have no-one to blame but yourself.

Quote of the day: ....
I don’t think this surprises anyone. Caruso’s bad reputation will outlive him....(

David Caruso's festival of bad acting

David Caruso CSI Miami, is the most mono tonal person of all times.......
The unintentional comedy caused by
David Caruso's horrendous acting makes the show unwatchable. I’m only tuning in to see just how much scenery David Caruso can chew in the course of 45 minutes.

I gave up “CSI: Miami” the former most-watched TV show in the world! — sometime around the third season.
Just wasn’t enjoying the bad-acting festival that is David Caruso, and also couldn’t get on board the evolution of the show from procedural to action melodrama, with Horatio Caine doing everything but leaping tall buildings in a single bound.
CSI Miami is a
festival of bad actors spouting monsyllabic expositions written by 100 monkeys sitting at 100 typewriters. How else to explain David Caruso’s signature sunglass-removing quip at each show’s cold opening? Besides...David Caruso is reportedly, er, difficult....


Quote of the day:
.....played by one of the worst actors in modern history,
David Caruso...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

David Caruso's unique beach fashion

We know it is summer.
We know it is hot.

And we know, that not everybody can be George Clooney and ALWAYS wear the right things at the right time. This time we our main topic is BEACHWEAR.

After we were presented yesterday with the latest David Caruso-plus-tart-on-Miami-Beach-show we decided to take a closer look at David Caruso's swim-wear du jour. To us it looks like that his leisure wear reflectes his choice of women - Cheap/Cheaper/Embarrassing.

Now, bear with us and take a very good look at the above pictures....

Do you notice a similarity (and we don't mean his cap)?
If yes, let us will win NOTHING except the realization that David Caruso seems to have NO STYLE at all - be it leisure wear or women...LOL

Picture 1: 2004

Picture 2: 2005

Picture 3: 2005

Picture 4: 2006

Picture 5: 2007
Picture 6: 2008

Quote of the day: ....
Not only that but David Caruso can't speak or make a point without whipping off his sunglasses. He must also have a vision problem as well.... (

David Caruso - Scrawny Butt

....And taking over this spot next week is none other that Mr. Macho, David Caruso and his bunch of CSI Misfits!
Don't get me wrong, I like CSI but somehow CSI Miami is not on my list of favourites. I watch it and all that but I'd much rather they show something else. David Caruso just gets on my nerves with his crooked neck look ... LOL!

CSI: Miami
- Caruso is painful and the rest of the cast delivers an unmemorable performace. By far the worst of the CSIs. Caruso's career ended the day after he left NYPD Blue.

Caruso playing a tough guy cop makes me laugh. Any real life pick pocket or shoplifter ‘criminal’ type would kick his scrawny butt all over Miami, while the rest of the crew laughs themselves silly
David soon as his name surfaced when the Miami version was new..My wife said watch the good actors get squeezed out and all they'll have left is Caruso. I love the original CSI and Miami is OK too if you kind of tune out David Caruso....


Quote of the day:
......Here’s hoping that they get good actors too.. Caruso is just not that great, really. (

David Caruso - Ditch the Dave!

I'm sorry I love all the C.S.I. Shows, Miami but I cannot stand to watch David Caruso.. ugh. I have to turn the channel when he even comes on.. I don't know who told that man he can act, but honestly I think he stinks.
All he does on the show is put on and take off those stupid sunglasses.. I swear he holds on to them like a security blanket. I guess I can blame the writers for his terribly lame lines.
But some actors make better use of lines than he does. ugh!! The rest of the cast on Miami.. I love em.
But I can't believe people can stomach "supercop" David Caruso. Doesn't anyone notice he always postures himself as the guy who does everything on the show?? Am I the only one who wonders how on earth David Caruso gets work?

Ditch the David!!



Quote of the day: .
..Why?.. First,
David Caruso is in it. He's the worst actor ever. ....

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

David Caruso the worst actor of all time...

...because - and how can we POSSIBLY NOT AGREE to all those good reasons mentioned below???? - they are spot on....and hilariously funny....
  • hes nasty ginger uggs
  • he is really good at taking off his sunglasses, though
  • I hate hate hate him. How the ugly non-talented troll ever broke into Hollywood is beyond me.
  • I can't stand to even look at him much less watch any show he's on.
  • why can't he hold his damn head up straight?
  • Hudson Hawk gave him the perfect dialogue
  • ::removes sunglasses slowly:: Why yes he is.
  • I think I'm gonna take up acting, I could not be any worse than this guy
  • David Caruso is the reason I never got into NYPD Blue. He's horrendous
  • I attach to cop shows immediately but not NYPD Blue soley because I couldn't stand Caruso
  • I think caruso is worse than all of these. Maybe not by much but still worse. The only way csi miami is even watchable is as a mst3k kind of format where you just laugh at all the badness.
  • "What should I do? I am a grown man with red hair."Does no one but me find this Caruso quote fucking hilarious? What a socially retarded freak.

Quote of the day:
I bet if you were to ask Caruso what exactly the company he does he would say the same thing over, it’s making things “generally easier.” I think the other two founders have made him a note card with what to say. (

David Caruso - So effing terrible

....David Caruso is the number one reason to avoid CSI: Miami.

For me the real motivating factor when selecting a favorite show, is (my personal frustration) with
David Caruso. An award should be given to Mr. Caruso for the worst melodramatic actor or the most stupid one liners given in a single episode.
I’d like to blame the writers for CSI Miami for only writing
stupid dialog for this character, but I’d be surprised if Mr. Caruso could deliver anything more complicated.
I tried watching it/HIM during its first season. I couldn't stand it/him.
So effing terrible....


Quote of the day: ...CSI: Miami - Crass and trashier than the other CSIs, with a mediocre cast and stupid David Caruso glowering behind his stupid yellow sunglasses and mumbling "witty" quips.. (

David Caruso - WTF? Lexicon Digital?

We found another critical blog-entry about Caruso's start-up "Lexicon-Digital" which is worth mentioning.
In the beautiful Seattle airport last weekend and I decided to purchase the most current issue of WIRED. Browsing through the countless hard liquor ads I found a celebrity startup section about half way through. To my surprise, the beloved David Caruso of CSI: Miami fame has a startup called Lexicon Digital.
Now if you watch CSI: Miami you’ll know David Caruso plays a total cheesebag investigator who has difficulty keeping his shades on. From what I’ve come to know of Caruso, I was expecting Lexicon Digital to be very interesting.
Since I’m having trouble trying to figure out what the company actually does so I went directly to the source (Lexicon Digital) to clear things up....
From the description it sounds like a video distribution service that will work on multiple platforms with some sort of real-time editing. It doesn’t sound like anything new; hello Revision3, Hulu, YouTube.....
To further clear up the confusion, the co-founders did multiple CES interviews promoting the company.
Wow! After listening to Caruso I totally get it.
It’s going to make things “generally easier.”
What’s going to be “generally easier?”
I don’t know because it’s a “secret,” but it sounds like the founders don’t even know what’s going on. I have a feeling Caruso is only there to help put attention on the company.

It’s not over! Lexicon Digital even made this really pointless video that make ZERO sense. The video’s like watching an episode of CSI: Miami after taking a little too much NyQuil.
After going through all of the information, Lexicon Digital wants to be the bullet that kills TV. Sadly, I think that bullet will ricochet and kill Lexicon Digital.


Quote of the day:
I smell a Ray Ban ad with David Caruso on it. God, no. (

Monday, June 23, 2008

David Caruso - F**K You, David Caruso! LOL!

Sorry but CSI:Miami is unwatchable.
David Caruso...I hope a speed boat lands on his ass. I think CSI MIAMI is the worst...I can not stand Dave NYPD blue I had him & his stupid sunglasses...Enough with yer damn sunglasses!
I bet
David Caruso's character will stare at the floor while talking to the suspect, then glance at the suspect menacingly, stare at the floor some more while talking to the suspect, the stare into dark space while talking to the suspect, then stare at a distant horizon while talking to the suspect, then rip his sunglasses off and get superangry while talking to the suspect, ie..... He's cinematic cumshot.

DAVID CARUSO and the slick deal you made with the devil. It is stunning to me that anybody seriously likes watching David Caruso......

Another treasure by Joel & The Soup:

Quote of the day:
Say what you will, I give
Caruso points for endeavoring to stretch out his acting chops. Like that one shot where he exited screen right instead of screen left........