Ugly creatures

Cole

.....Crime Scene Investigation (Miami) revolves around 'Lieutenant Horatio Caine,' who is portrayed by David Caruso who is obviously extracting money by deception in as much as the man can't act.

Mr. Caruso is a joke and as an actor he would make a very good car park attendant, and a poor one at that. If the sun glasses were issued by National Car Parks the thing could not be more unbelievable.....

The man is devoid of talent. Without the sunglasses where would his character be? David Caruso is about as believable as Andy Pandy climbing into to the basket with Looby Loo and not copping feel, or doing the said deed and blaming it on Teddy!!!

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http://tvhforum.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=print&thread=1191457476

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David Caruso

Cole

David Caruso has to be the most annoying actor on tv. We have stopped watching CSI Miami here as we find him WAYYYY too annoying to make the show worth watching.

They could replace David Caruso with a crash test dummy and stick a pair of sunglasses on it and the performance would be about the same. The dummy would probably have a better sense of humour though!

David Caruso was apparently an arse in NYPD, thinking he was God. So you can imagine what he's like now. He must have something seriously big on the producers, cause it ain't his acting that's keeping him there. He is just .......so wooden and cringeworthy......

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Compiled and found on: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055232621

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Agreed...LOL!!!

David Caruso

Cole

CSI Miami is OK, if I could cut David Caruso out of every scene in his oh-so-smooth, all-knowing, smug-ass style of ass-hole.......

......His signature move is head tilt, part of a line, pause, sunglasses on, rest of the line, turns head, walks out of frame.

ALWAYS.

He's such a hack..........

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http://otrforum.proboards40.com/index.cgi?board=tv&action=display&thread=1123342930

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David Caruso

Cole

There is a funny game called "Time to lay some blame. And if you can't think of anyone blame David Caruso!"

We have chosen the top 7 answers because they are just too good to miss:

True Fact: David Caruso wallpapered his rec-room with the missing Ohio ballots in '04.

Caruso was on iceberg duty on the Titanic, but he was so busy fapping about with his sunglasses that he missed the big one. 1100 souls on his ginger head

Nigerian scam artists only want your money so they can buy pirated copies of Caruso bombs like "Jade," which are used units of exchange in a collapsing economy.

Caruso once told Paris Hilton, "You know, you should really throw yourself into the limelight. Don't just be some demure billionaire heiress"

David Caruso is the reason I didn't lose my virginity until I was 30.

Carbon monoxide is no longer the leading cause of fatal poisonings in North America. Carbon monotony is. Thanks a heap, Dave

Sounds like 2002 was a banner year for el doucharino.

For the rest of the funny and hilarious answers please go to - http://www.consumating.com/profiles/Combustible_Monkey/topics?id=141706!

Cole

David Caruso seems to have crossed Raymond Burr with Shatner with Rainman. ...:stares at floor, never meeting suspect's eyes:: "You know.... we do... have... yourrrrrrrr....... ....... prints on the murder weapon." ...

.....Caruso starts Rain Man, goes Captain Kirk, then whammo... Perry Mason. then back to Rain Man for a finish. :D........

...................and all the while, he's walking like a penguin with a stiff neck/back.... someone must have told him it was sexy somewhere... Bad, bad *BAD* acting (William Shattner is coming to get his line delivery back from David Caruso real soon now!!!!),

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Source: http://nytetyger.livejournal.com/268514.html

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David Caruso

Cole

We do know how hard it is for some fans to come to terms that David Caruso dumped Liza Marquez two weeks before she was due to give birth. But everyone who knows David Caruso and his bad track record with relationships/women knows it was only a matter of time.

Today David Caruso gave an interview for ET Tonight. Among other things, he was asked what he was up to during the forced hiatus from the show:

http://www.etonline.com/news/2008/02/59049/index.html.

@

Well, it is obvious, isn't it?

Caruso had plastic surgery.(http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/02/david-caruso-nice-eye-job.html)

Caruso promoted a start-up

Caruso has got a new girl-friend.

AND Caruso spent quality time with his children.

@

Of course, Caruso didn't have this children by himself. Naturally, there is a woman who gave birth to them. Hence the word WE,

Caruso DOESN'T SAY "Me and Liza are happy together".

Caruso DOESN'T SAY "WE have a great relationship."

Caruso just says "WE have two little ones."

Nothing more or less.....

@

If this is HARD EVIDENCE (????) that Liza Marquez and David Caruso are still together than we are dealing here with a severe case of wishful thinking.....LOL.(http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/01/david-caruso-national-enquirer-article.html)

Cole

CSI Miami is irritating in the EXTREME, mostly (not solely, but mostly) thanks to David Caruso's character "H".

The boy Dave has annoyed me for many years, this has nothing to do with being a ginger, I myself have quite ridiculous hair (not red, just annoying) necessitating it's regular, near complete removal.

It's Caruso' s acting style that annoys me and is brought to a refined peak in "H", with his dramatic pauses and stony pronouncements.
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Thoughtfully left by: http://thriftcriminal.blogspot.com/2007/12/i-hate-h.html
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WE understand....we really do....LOL...
David Caruso

Cole

...........Horatio Cane (David Caruso from CSI Miami): We love the CSI series, but David Caruso almost makes it too hard to watch “Miami”. This guy made the biggest mistake of his life when he left NYPD Blue. It went downhill for him ever since. He will forever be the pussy that almost drowned in the pool in the movie “An Officer and a Gentleman”.

The script for "Horatio" and an episode of CSI Miami may be as follows:
Horatio - head tilted right, "I….think….its….a….gun."

Horatio - head tilted left, "Don’t ….let….him….bleed…out,"

Horatio - head tilted back, "Its….a….leaf….with…blood,"

Horatio - head tilted forward

Horatio - head tilted down, takes off sunglasses, "And….you….are…..under….arrest,"

Horatio - head tilted toward the sky, "I….can….see….a….plane, Callie!"

Horatio - head tilted toward the moon, "Speed….get….me….a….new…fingerprint!"

Horatio - head tilted like a dog

Horatio - head tilted to hear the train coming, "Is…that….the….four….o’……………….clock?"

Horatio -Try tilting your head and talking to someone, "…it……hurts!" Sunglasses back on.

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Found on: http://www.reezle.com/blogs/gryhnd45/?date=10/11/2007

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LOL!!!!

David Caruso

Cole

WORST VOICE FOR AN ACTOR.....

.......That dickhead thats in CSI with the red hair - David Caruso - I think is his name ...its not even a voice its a whisper crossed over with a slight phlegm. It sounds like something got caught in his throat....that guy sucks ass......

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http://www.tooktoo.cn/viewthread.php?action=printable&tid=188039

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NICELY PUT.....LOL!!!

David Caruso

Cole

We watched The King of New York this weekend, which leads me to one question:
WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY HAPPENED TO DAVID CARUSO?!
He was good in the King of New York! How do you go from a good Ray Liotta-ish intense actor, to the "Adam West without the intentional comedy, dramatic pausing" being he is today on CSI Miami?

It's been said many times before, but the real David Caruso vanished right after he left NYPD Blue.

We remember David Caruso before became a joke for the South Park kids. "Hey Ike, do your impression of David Caruso's career!"

It's a shame what box office failure can do............
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Source: http://www.razzies.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1436&PN=1&TPN=2
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David Caruso

Cole

David Caruso's chin-first performances on NYPD Blue were kind of bracing for the day (that and seeing his pasty Irish ass every-other episode), but he really takes a massive bite of the scenery these days.

David Caruso has become more and more irritating as his career has progressed/degraded. His campy approach to "CSI:Miami" has to be seen to be believed. David Caruso's performance on CSI really is vomit-inducing.

He is more Captain Kirk-ee than William Shatner. It's embarrassing.........
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Found on http://www.yelp.com/topic/seattle-most-annoying-tv-movie-character
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David Caruso

Cole

David Caruso is so hateable I think he even has his own thread of hate (At least on MORE THAN TWO DOZEN web-pages, blogs etc. !) , which actually sounds really awful, put that way, but my God...he CANNOT act, he doesn't have more than one expression or one voice tone...and he does seem to have an UN-healthy opinion of his talent...that smirk....aggghhhhhh!!!!

.............the Sunglasses of Justice agree. They've been trying to escape for years.....LOL
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http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=2828258&st=5925
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David Caruso

Cole

We see our blog as first port of call for all those who are fed up with David Caruso, with his sub-par acting, his hamming and for he daily growing number of people who ask themselves why Caruso is still allowed to "grace" the TV-screen.

Now peoples' discontentedness doesn't even stop of short the "holy" CBS Miami Message Board:

David Caruso (Horatio) Miami
From: kbaxhen
Posts: 2
We have stopped watching CSI Miami only because of Caruso. He is top of the line HAM. He speaks as tho' he were the only one in the room and is watching himself in a mirror. Other actors on that show are great, and should be given credit for making it ALMOST worth watching. Caruso was good on NYPD Blue, but his "lead" role has truly gone to his head and egomania has taken over.

(http://boards.cbs.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=cbscsimiamb&tid=2832)

David Caruso

Cole

Just TOO GOOD to miss!!!

There are a lot of celebrities that we would love to see get into a brawl......

David Caruso vs David Caruso

This moron is the worst actor on the face of the planet.

YES... worse than Carrottop!

Words fail us to describe how much this twat annoys us.

Winner: US

He would have to try to out act himself during the fight, leading to cardiac arrest and death. It would probably go the whole 12 rounds, and you know the death scene would be drawn out and over dramatic!!!

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Source: http://www.onmylist.com/category/celebrity/Celebrity_fights_I_want_to_see_1

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LOL!!!

Cole

David Caruso - putting his hands on his hips, tilting his head, and delivering some of the corny lines in every scene.

It looks like he 's trying to be like Columbo.

If you watch Hawaii 5-0 you'll see a mirror image of Jack Lord doing Steve Mcgarrett in David Caruso's CSI Miami character.
.......... if he keeps bent over like that his next role will probably be the Hunchback Of Notre Dame!!!

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http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/history/topic/61904-1.html

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HOW TRUE......

David Caruso

Cole

David Caruso is a useless waste of air that I might someday need that, by all things right and just in the world, should never have been allowed on the set of ANYTHING ever again after his slick move to leave NYPD Blue after the first season in order to pursue that stellar friggin' movie career he had. As if.

David Caruso - This guy really irks me for some reason and I feel the intense need to slap the sunglasses off his face every time that I watch the show. ... plus the fact that Mike (from Drew & Mike) felt compelled to speculate that the man, being red-haired, probably has an abnormally pink weiner ...

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http://www.detroitboard.com/lofiversion/index.php?t47-2150.html

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David Caruso

Cole

CSI sucks, David Caruso blows - I know that Law & Order (how many are there btw?) and other cop shows have gotten a lot of recognition and awards .......but I haven't been too impressed with what I've seen on tv.

If you wanna portray a cool cop, don't cast some fucking tool - DAVID CARUSO - who spent his whole career portraying cops on TV. They always turn out as flat, cheesy, unlikeable characters like Caruso's in CSI: Miami.

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Source: http://www.xanga.com/HerryHaller/584648739/csi-sucks-david-caruso-blows.html

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David Caruso

Cole

CSI Miami........ This is a sad product of an overactive ego. Namely the ego of David Caruso.

It was said that William Shatner overacted in the original Star Trek series. David Caruso makes Shatner look like a Shakespearian artist. Carusos' character was removed from NYPD Blue after two seasons.

CSI: Miami was created as a spin off of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, the number one show on TV for several years, so that Caruso could have a TV show.

CSI: Miami gets most of its popularity from the rest of the cast because Caruso is simply pathetic.......

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http://www.lapcopaintball.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=188842&sid=62b887e793d892a4f8817e6fb30dca7d

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NICELY PUT.....

David Caruso

Cole

I love to watch CSI Miami but every time I see David Caruso I just laugh. He is so terrible its like watching a train wreck. I think Shattner and Caruso should get together and teach a class on how not to act.

What Andrew McCarthy is for movies David Caruso is for TV. Awful actor......

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http://www.fftodayforums.com/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t309390.html

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David Caruso

Cole

This supposedly happened long ago - 1994 - is just hearsay, may be true or not - however we decided to post it anyway.
Read it .
Draw your own conclusion...WE already have!

"..This is hear-say, but the cinematographer from NYPD Blue came to my film school to speak and somebody asked him about working with David Caruso. His response was pretty hilarious. He said that David got into an arguement with the director about his lines and ended by physically hitting the director and storming off set. The next day, he bought him a Pontiac Firebird as an apology......."
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Source: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000325/board/thread/98185156
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We all have heard about Caruso's temper tantrums.
We all have heard that he kicked a waste-basket after Dennis Franz .
Is David Caruso a bully and a thug?
Would an incident like the above be out of character?

We think NOT...
David Caruso

Cole

.....I don't like the guy's manner. I think he's an arrogant asshole. And while David Caruso once was a watchable actor-prospect, he burnt out before he could make it in the majors and is coasting in AAA franchise on name recognition alone.......

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Source: http://ace.mu.nu/archives/255222.php
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REFRESHING point of view!!!!
David Caruso

Cole

Many people make fun of David Caruso.
Comedians.
Show-Hosts
Fans.
Haters.

Caruso is the butt of the jokes and that is well-deserved (we think).

Now, even one of his CSI executive producers - Mr. Anthony ZUICKER - makes fun of David Caruso too. And he does it in a very entertaining way.

Take a look and ENJOY! WE did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvtxDhPjUqs

David Caruso

Cole

David Caruso - His acting is beyond epic, and his one -liners will drop you dead IRL. (And by "epic" I mean God damn awful)

I don't like him at all...... It kills me how he's such a try hard in it though - his slow monotone speach is him trying too hard to be intense that it's not fooling anybody. Those shades make him look more like a try hard too.

He just doesn't look cool wearing them.

Plus he's always posing.

Also see him walk, stop, and he'd be standing sideways and would only turn his head and talk to the person, with one or both arms on his waist. What a poser.... I can always see a big "L" (for Loser) on his forehead everytime he does this......

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Thank you! http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/showthread.php?t=370666&page=2

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David Caruso

Cole

Yesterday, a blog-entry caught our interest.

It was funny, witty and a pleasure to read. We liked the way it was written. As a matter of fact it intrigued us so much, that we decided to "borrow" it and post it on our blog. Of course, not without mentioning our source.

http://uglycreatures.blogspot.com/2008/02/david-caruso-sojs-qualify-as-torture.html
http://morenotesfromunderground.blogspot.com/2008/02/following-takes-place-between-antonin.html

We SPICED it up with a comment of our own. Added a word or two here or there. Nothing unusual. We ALWAYS do that.

Is it against the law? NO.

Is it wrong? NO.

We don't feel we are guilty of anything, left alone plagiarization. We only borrowed something note-worthy to offer it our vast audience. If people feel different - so be it. We won't lose a minute of sleep over it. ......

CASE DISMISSED!!!

David Caruso

Cole

Which is worse? The one-liners, or David Caruso taking off his sunglasses, striking his "hand on hip" pose, and over-emoting?

David Caruso makes one feel all, err, icky inside. There's just something about him that seems indefinably.... smarmy. [shudder] We can hardly look upon his visage without having some kind of skin-crawling-type attack.

Caruso gives redheads, and Miami, a bad name. Smirky, smarmy and squicky only begin to describe him.

Fucktard.

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Source: Unknown

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David Caruso