Tuesday, September 9, 2008

David Caruso - Icon of Idiocy

While nitwit/dojo rambles on incoherently causing people to yawn in frustration about another senseless rant by her we have found another piece that brought tears of laugther to our eyes.

Now people what do you prefer?

Someone who likes to hear herself talk and delivers one boring eulogy - they have next to nothing to do with reality whatsoever - after the other? Or highly entertaining David Caruso spoofs that show what an "icon of idiocy" David Caruso is! (Something the nitwit and butt-boy David Caruso obviously have in common!)
OUR choice (and most of our readers') is clear! We prefer the latter!!!

"...Though Jessie and I will watch almost anything with a dead body at the beginning of it, we both grimace and moan when CSI:Miami comes on. I’ll come up with THE TOP 5 REASONS CSI:MIAMI IS THE WORST ONE OF THEM ALL.

#1 The tech is impossible
My greatest problem with this show is the tech and gadgets. Being a bit of a
gadget-o-phile myself I get almost angry watching the CSI data analyzers tap around on these futuristic computers. Microsoft’s Surface just got produced this year and it is probably 10-15 years away from working it’s way into forensics departments. Honestly, with all this imaginary tech, it’s more like a cartoon or a comic book than a TV show.

#2 It’s sunny all the time
Building off the comic book thing… Ok. We get it. It’s sunny in Miami. The greens and oranges that saturate every scene make everything seem extremely fake. And don’t get me started on the sunglasses… the constant taking on and off of sunglasses drives me nuts. My greatest pet peeve is probably when people wear sunglasses inside. The Vegas series errs on the other side of the spectrum by shooting everything in a dimly lit closet. But the darkness creates suspense. The sunny day interrogation room in Miami makes me feel like I’m on vacation, not in a den of sin and despair.

#3 Waste of tax dollars
Have you seen their quadruple-billion dollar CSI lab? What a bunch of rich babies. I just watched Grissom use packing tape, a piece of window tint, a 9V battery to solve a crime. These folks have a ka-billion dollar complex to solve their crimes (probably yacht theft) that no one cares about… leading me to…

#4 Nobody cares about Miami
Vegas is Vegas. Filled with exotic intrigue and a seedy underbelly. New York is New York, the largest city in America. Miami is … well …. boring. There couldn’t be a more uninteresting city for crime to occur. CSI: Omaha sounds way more interesting.

#5 The One-Liners! Make them stop!
The thing that made Gil Grissom great on CSI: Crime Scene Investigators is the very thing that makes David Caruso bad. It’s like the writers couldn’t stop writing terrible dialog (occasionally there’s some terrible Spanish too!). Gil maybe drops 1-2 puns per episode. Caruso on the other hand feels compelled to punish the viewers every scene he has.

Hear! Hear! WE couldn't have said it better!
Quote of the day - "....A big shiny box set, just in case you can’t enough of a very constipated looking David Caruso saying “I’m the Fiber King.” Sure you are, Dave. Sure you are...." (http://bombmatt.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/notable-dvd-and-blu-ray-releases-for-9-09-08/)

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