David Caruso - CSI Idiot

David Caruso - He has to be the absolute worst actor in the entire world. I hear he even revises his scripts because they are not to his standards? He has no standards. I wish HoCaine's head would tilt and fall off one time. I am so sick of his "move" remove the glasses, tilt the head, hands on hips and say the worst possible line ever!!

He also creeps me out when he is acting with children. Every other actor/actress on the show is terrific, they are believable and talented. I would rather see Mr. T as the Lieutenant than H! At least he can bring some emotion.

Sorry I had to vent I just hate David Caruso, it is not even about the role he portrays as Caine he is just horrible. He was awful at every role he has attempted to portray.

This show is going downhill fast! Get rid of him and you lose the weirdest TV character. David Caruso has no talent and the things he says are just plain stupid.....

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http://www.cbs.com/forum/posts/list/18863.page

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David Caruso

Quote of the day - David Caruso has taken the Shatner school of acting to a whole new level. (http://carriev.wordpress.com/2008/09/30/random-thoughts-2/)

David Caruso - But he's a creep...

One can find virtually everything on Google. Just but in a random string of terms, press enter and you are in.
On another blog someone thinks that "CREEP" by Radiohead is the most fitting song describing Icon of Idiocy David Caruso, (http://davidcarusorevealed.blogspot.com/2008/09/david-caruso-creep.html) we googled "David Caruso is a creep." We came up with staggering 7.210 entries/results...and among those the following hilarious comment:

Re: Celebs/Stars that Creep You Out ...

David Caruso...who....talks.......like...thissss...gives me the heebs. I change the channel whenever they're on anything. I don't really like redheaded guys. He has really weird looks and he constantly faces one way and looks abnormally the other. Maybe he thinks his profile shot is great, but it isn't.....
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http://boards.eonline.com/Insider/Boards/message.jspa?messageID=142801
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Quote of the day - "....Damn! I was so hoping he was dead. Can't stand Caruso, but like the CSI shows....(http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/09/csi-miami-premi.html?xid=rss-popwatch-20080923-'CSI%20Miami'%20season%20premiere:%20Realism%20not%20included!)

David Caruso - Man or Mole?

Not ours, but DELICIOUSLY funny:

CSI: Miami. It is a frightful show. Deliciously frightful.
I don't understand how a good actor like Emily Proctor, who had such mighty powers playing Ainsley Hayes in The West Wing, could sit happily on this show. Perhaps it's just a steady job for someone whose career never really took off? See Gary Sinise in CSI: New York or Anthony LaPaglia in the other American cop show.
But David Caruso aka HoCaine... man he is more mole than man.
David Caruso/HoCaine is unable to hold his neck upright for extended periods of time, he always speaks in a smooth, cool, drawl which sounds like something the hunky plumber in a cheap porno might use. He never looks people in the eye, but always over his shoulder and down his nose.
I feel like David Caruso really likes his role a little too much, like Kiefer Sutherland with Jack Bauer. I think he might be the only person in the show who takes it all seriously.
I hope that one day CSI will get a little postmodern and one of the suspects in an investigation will break out of character and laugh at one of Caruso's cheesy lines!

THAT WOULD BE REAL GREAT FUN!!!

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http://mikeylynch.blogspot.com/2008/09/more-mole-than-man.html

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Quote of the day -".... CSI: Is the one with David Caruso? He’s weird. I don’t like it." (http://savedbythetube.blogspot.com/2008/09/thursday.html)

David Caruso - It is ugly, very ugly!

Our Brazilian friends/readers/visitors are known for their fierce temper and their passion. If they dislike/love something they express it in a very colorful language.

Like the blogger who regaled us with the following post. He doesn't like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso. And it clearly shows in every word he writes. (The following is a Google-translaton. A bit funny to read but you will get the gist of it!)
@
ENJOY!

@

"....lets talk about a gentleman with the name of David Caruso (Horatio Caine on CSI Miami).

It is ugly, very ugly.

I do not know his age but he has the skin of an ill corpse, the pallor and skins flácidass. He is lousy actor. Certainly he is not what they say is understood as a good actor . This is my opinion.

He always sports the same expression, walks constantly with his hands on hips (or type fishmonger Catarina Furtado to present the Dancing With me, but without the smile), look to one side, lowers the head and eyes averted while talking to people.

... And never, never even changing the expression on his face.That man is simply disgusting. I like the CSI series, but I can not watch CSI Miami because of disgust I feel for this player (David Caruso)."

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http://vida-continua.blogspot.com/2008/09/david-caruso.html

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David Caruso

Quote of the day -"...Of course, I never pass up a chance to mock CSI or David Caruso..."

(http://bellevillenewsdemocrat.typepad.com/culturegeek/news/ )

David Caruso - Autumn Season Disappointments

Somehow we knew we would find it sooner or later - the comment/blog-entry that would make our day.
And HERE it is! Refreshingly open and honest!

...CSI: Miami was a complete failure. There was an interview yesterday where they were talking about how David Caruso gets so much ish, and he doesn't do any interviews anymore. Well here's a piece of advice if he didn't suck at acting and make his character into a complete joke maybe more people would watch it, and actually think he was good at what he did. But then again it's hard to turn something that's been a joke for almost 5 years into something good....

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http://loopysbookshelf.blogspot.com/2008/09/nothing-new-on-tv.html

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Quote of the day - "...Trev,. David Caruso would like his copy of “Idiotic Career Moves” back…" (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/)

David Caruso - RED: Three thieves?

This is about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso (peripherally), an online newsletter and two people. One obviously had an idea that the other one stole only to present it as her own.
Sometimes certain ideas have two fathers - or so it seems.
We know neither one party nor the other. And we are not one of those bloggers who offer unasked advice or lecture people to death with endless sermons. However, we are more then ready to play the devil's advocate and give this matter the the room it deserves.

We have already stated that we don't think too highly of the online-newsletter called "RED". It is amateurish at best - something a pre-adolescent would produce. It is nothing to write home about. Every high-school newspaper is more exciting and informative than Emily Malones piece of bordeom.
This following e-mail/letter was received by another blogger. It is from the person that alerted her in the first place that Emily Malone might be playing a dirty game as far as "RED" is concerned.
This letter/e-mail is the way it was received. Draw your own conclusions. We already have:

"Well I found this other N/L and decided to find out more, and that is what the lady told me? She appears to be a lovely lady, and told me that Miss Malone had befriended her, and so she confided in her about her idea, and she loved it, and said she had wanted to be a part of it, but because she was only the 'Assistant Editor'wanted more, and after an argument, which appeared to be pre planned parted ways with it. She had had several apologies I am told - just to ease the situation, but refused and all of a sudden she was bringing one out, called the silly title.
I have seen hers and I think it is very amateur ish, but the other main thing is, I am told this other ladys has been in planning for a while, and when it was due out, several obstacles were put in her way to stop its launch, which I think is very unfair on the lady.
Miss Malone should realise that it is unfair to steal other people's ideas just because she never thought of it herself. She seemingly has no intention of mentioning her problem, (Giving credit) and has also SLATED the title of the original ladys project, which I think is incredibly unfair.
I for one, like I said, am looking forward to the Ladys one coming out, and the 'approved' one that Mr Caruso has given himself.
Like I also said I think calling someone by that name is incredibly disrespectful."

Whether there will be a da capo to this story or not remains to be seen. Either way, it shines a not too favourable light on a publication which turned out to be a huge disappointment for one or the other involved ...
David Caruso
Quote of the day -"...I can't stand David Caruso, and the stupid fast-paced dumbed-down, blinged-up miami version, but I keep watching because I feel sorry for them or something.."(http://www.flickr.com/photos/philatkin/2182613872/)

David Caruso - Flying in the face of logic!

A French TV blog has rendered its verdict about CSI Miami Season 7 opener "Resurrection" and its "star", Icon of Idiocy, David Caruso.

It mourns the shows' loss of logic and makes fun of the caricature David Caruso and the role he plays has become. Note (highlighted by us in BOLD GREEN) the reference to David Caruso's past stint with alcoholism and its possible aftermath!

For the whole article which was written in French please go to http://seriestv.blog.lemonde.fr/2008/09/25/csi-miami-saison-7-au-dela-de-la-logique/

Find a Google-translation of the article here:

CSI Miami (Season 7) - Beyond the logic

We talked in a previous note of mockery, partly justified and bring very little, including David Caruso was the subject, both the United States than in other countries where this is CSI Miami, second declension of the franchise created by Jerry Bruckheimer.

The first episode of season 7, which was broadcast this week on CBS confirms the trend reported by the external. The series has come to its logical end and has probably expired, to the point it became a parody of parodies and inspires the best of indifference and at worst the irritation and repulsion. After seven years to track down drug traffickers, small and murderous criminals with flat feet, the only person that Caruso has managed to put in a cage, his character, Horatio Caine. The man with dark glasses has become a caricature.

• Not a scene where he is not held his legs apart, his head leaning slightly on its side, motionless in the midst of a crime scene, looking not the person to whom it is addressed, but a point somewhere on the horizon.
• Not a scene where Caruso does not withdraw its sunglasses with a slow any theater.
• Not a scene where he delivered a replica of more than five words: the more often a completely final sentence sounds like the end of a lesson in morality. At this stage, the dialogues are provided almost entirely by other actors, Caruso were glad to be there.

Worse, many look to the heroes of former NYPD Blue, it has a sincere sadness. He suddenly aged. We will not reverse its dark period where he was an alcoholic outcast in Hollywood but it has left its mark. On several occasions, we feel that it was difficult to stand, it is unsteady on his feet when he plays it pursues a criminal. This impression of unease is not even compensated by the parade of creatures, all perfect and more sophisticated one than the others. The season 6 was arrested leaving the plot open. The first episode, which is the chronological and fall, do not reward for having waited so long.

David Caruso

Quote of the day - "... That line was a heaping hunk of epic fail, rivaled in tastelessness only by the idea of David Caruso in a thong and pasties..." (http://laguera25.livejournal.com/409469.html)

David Caruso - LEXICON DIGITAL Quo Vadis?

A fellow blogger did an interesting update on celeb-powered start-ups. Among them, of course, the start-up of Icon of Idiocy David Caruso:

Celebrity: David Caruso

Site: LexiconDigital.tv

Lexicon Digital Communications may be most famous for its CSI-star founder and CEO David Caruso, who announced the company at the Consumer Electronics Show back in January. What made the announcement noteworthy is that nine months later we still have no idea what exactly the company does.
Status: Still yet-to-be-launched. But if you want to see a really amazing three-minute-plus promotional video that doesn't show you what a company does, you can find it here.

CNET - video http://news.cnet.com/1606-2-6225397.html

We like to close this entry with this highly interesting post from one commenter:

Caruso and his 'partner' sum up everything I hate about the technology industry. Caruso is clearly a Premier League a**hole - I can certainly see why nobody can't stand him. (Is CSI the show where everyone's had terrible eyelid lifts and they look like aliens?) The only thing I liked about the clip was that at first I thought his partner's surname was Lard. So I was bitterly disappointed when that turned out not to be the case...I do have to give the two of them credit, though, for managing to say absolutely nothing the whole time. (What the F is that 'company' about?!) But I noticed that Lahr used the word 'encapsulate' - someone should tell him that that's not in the approved marketing vocabulary... Caruso gets bonus points for speaking in that fake Hollywood voice the whole time. And double bonus points for coming on to the young female reporter (twice). Boy, did that creep me out...

It's bizarre they were 'launching' the company but could not say a single thing about what it was about. It does seem he can only think with his little ginger pecker. Ooh, was that mean?? (http://www.flickr.com/photos/philatkin/2182613872/)

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http://news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10050441-2.html?part=rss&tag=feed&subj=Webware

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David Caruso

Quote of the day - "..Then came CSI: Miami with David Caruso, the man who refuses to face someone when he speaks to them and who has his sunglasses permanently welded to his face. I like the others on the show but David just plain sucks. ..."(http://itsmichael.org/blog/2008/09/23/csi-miami-wins-michaels-lamest-fall-opener-in-all-of-tv-history/)

David Caruso - Vulgar

Lately on TMZ...

....David Caruso? ...Honestly the guy never interest me, his tv show is an old fashion one, like he saw the 1960's shows and for him to make them again in this new millenium year 2007 - 8..and he is nothing in the looks department, his horrible carrot hair, pasty complexion, and vulgar face features, he problably become famous for being the only one who by not having good looks and he still dare to make it into television..(Posted at by Anne Marie)

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http://www.tmz.com/2008/05/29/david-caruso-csi-love-myself/4#comments
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David Caruso

Quote of the day - "...and could someone please tell David Caruso that acting is more than standing sideways with your head tilted!!!! Sheesh! " (http://ranavansjourney.blogspot.com/2008/09/things-to-look-forward-to.html)

David Caruso - Dear CSI Miami Writers....

Yesterdays underwhelming CSI Miami Season 7 premier garnered a lot of reactions. Most of the viewers can't decide if they should either be annoyed, amused or simply embarrassed about what we were offered on CBS primtime yesterday. The following "letter" reflects the mindset of a lot of viewers!

Dear Miami Writers,

...HoCaine is not a saint, and even if he were, not everyone adores saints. In fact, humanity has a nasty habit of beating saints to death and recognizing their greatness only after they have destroyed it. And not everyone who opposes a self-appointed saint like HoCaine is a soulless, homicidal asshole.Sometimes, people just dislike or disagree with someone, even people whom others adore.

Deal with it. Stop warping even supremely malleable TV reality to further fellate and encourage Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's mammoth ego.!

No love,La Guera

Needless to say we agree!

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http://laguera25.livejournal.com/408692.html

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David Caruso

Quote of the day - "...I watched CSI: Miami and realized that there is no reason I can't be in Hollywood if David Caruso can spend seven years on that show.... " (http://goldbergstrashcan.blogspot.com/2008/09/dvr.html)

David Caruso - Is "RED" a ripped-off idea?

Normally, we don't waste time on Newsletters. Often they are made by fans who are highly biased and thus not able to think clearly when it comes to the object of their desire.
More often than not those newsletters are not worth the time it takes to read them. Such an example is "RED" - published a few days ago by a David Caruso fan. A very insightful review about it is available on http://davidcarusoandme.blogspot.com/2008/09/david-caruso-red-redder-boring.html

Now it appears that the idea for the newsletter is not so new after all. A poster on Showhype claims that the idea has been stolen from her. Which would make the author of the newsletter, Emily Malone a plagiarist. Interesting story.
Even if we don't know the players nor the background story we find it interesting enough to post the comment in question:

...Whats been failed to mention is I understand that Miss Malone has stolen the idea from another lady, who helped with his previous Newsletter and is also currently about to lauch his NEW Newsletter with his FULL approval. When Miss Malone found this out I am told, she wanted the credit herself, and so Red was born, but I understand the soon to be released Newsletter is THE first and only approved one, and had it not been for this one she would never had the idea.Red, as well, I would have thought, is rather like being bullied because of his hair colour and not suitable for a title? (http://showhype.com/story/david_caruso_red_redder_boring/#cid7265)

For those who are interested there is also an article available on:
http://davidcarusoandme.blogspot.com/2008/09/david-caruso-red-only-cheap-rip-off.html
David Caruso
Quote of the day - "..David Caruso makes me want to hunt him down and give a big alligator a snack.."(http://blog.liedel.org/?p=2368)

David Caruso - Episode "Resurrection" disappoints!

Long awaited, a lot speculated about and after some premature praise from a handful of fans tonight was the night: CSI Miami Season 7 premiered with episode "Resurrection" .And it turned out as BAD as expected. However, we can't decide what was worse : the acting or the editing. Or maybe BOTH.

So on with it!

*Ryan Wolfe/J. Togo - Wolfe releases the body without an ME present? Sure. Calleigh and Eric smell a rat. Wolfe is a bad liar who can't keep a secret for long and very soon it is clear that it is a set-up. HoCaine alive and well. During the whole time he was on screen Wolfe looked like he was chewing on a lemon.

*Ron Saris/Kim Coates - Everybody in Miami knows that HoCaine is alive and well but him. And he doesn't even know WHO Yelina is? What about basic research? Looks like the writers of CSI Miami has a fable for stupid criminals...

*Yelina Salas/Sofia Milos - Nice to see her back. However, Yelina walking out of the mist like the lady of the sea looked a tad too cheesy for us.

*Eric/Tripp - They drive around in Miami with one of the most dangerous criminals in the passenger seat and nobody gets the idea to cuff Ortega to the car? Tweedledum and Tweedledee at work!

*Caleigh/Jake - interesting scenes. There is a lot room for development. More of it, please!

*HoCaine/David Caruso - Didn't stay dead long, didn't he? Caruso's acting in season 7 is just as bad as it was in season 6. No big change here. Caruso looks more wrinkled and tired than he looked in season 6.The one-liner HoCaine says at the end after he blew up the gas-tank and the yacht is one of the cheesiest ever heard on this show.

Can it get any more ridiculous? Since the whole show solely revolves around David Caruso's bad acting we fear it can!

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http://community.tvguide.com/thread/Csi-Miami/Csi-Miami-Quotresurrectionquot/800047233

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David

Quote of the day - ..."Celebrate David Caruso Day by watching a semi-coherent episode of "CSI: Miami"

(http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2008/09/celebrate-david-caruso-day-by.html)

David Caruso - Mind Games

Looks like David Caruso/HoCaine will finally get some in CSI Miami's 7th season - and it is Julia Winston/Elizabeth Berkely!
Look at the picture! Have we ever seen David Caruso/HoCaine show SOOOO MUCH EMOTION - LOL? That is more than the unlucky late Marisol ever got...

Look at the picture again...
WHAT might Icon of Idiocy David Caruso have been thinking while shooting this scene
*Nice boobs!
*Oh no, she has dandruff!
*Smells good!

Why don't you visit our latest poll on ZIMBIO and tell us what YOU think HE might be thinking!

(http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/14/Look+picture+might+David+Caruso+thinking)

David Caruso
Quote of the day - ..The CSI sans David Caruso - that man drives me crazy..ick!"(http://harmonystables.blogspot.com/2008/09/fall-tv-after-last-seasons-writers.html)

David Caruso - Any Given Monday...

...There is a CSI: NY marathon on today. I really do like the REAL CSI show, the one based in Vegas that was the first of the trio starring William Petersen, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
Then came CSI: Miami with David Caruso, the man who refuses to face someone when he speaks to them and who has his sunglasses permanently welded to his face. I like the others on the show but David just plain sucks. No personality at all.
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http://itsmichael.org/blog/2008/09/22/each-and-every-week-has-a-monday/
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David Caruso
Quote of the day - "...And we chose Gary Dourdan entirely at random. Good job we didn’t pick David Caruso, really - just look what being in CSI has done to his hair..."
(http://www.hecklerspray.com/some-csi-bloke-in-more-exciting-than-csi-drug-bust/200813912.php)

David Caruso - Will the season premier live up to the expectations?

Tomorrow is Septmber 22, 2008.

So what?

Will the world stop tomorrow?

Will there be an eclispe of the sun?

Will the stock markets crash?
Or will a comet destroy the earth?
*

NO.

*

Tomorrow CSI Miami Season 7 will air its first episode - ironically titled "Resurrection". Nothing special, really. Just the beginning of a new season of a more or less mediocre show.

However, if you read various fan boards and the CSI Miami Message Board in particular you can't shake the impression that it is the second comming of Christ.

People counting hours. Getting more and more excited with every passing hour...Laughable, we know. One has to wonder about the mental age of those people- 6, 10, 14?

(http://jerichoboard.cbs.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&nav=messages&webtag=cbscsimiamb&tid=5143)

Expectations of fans and viewers are high. However, it is a known fact that the higher the expectations the more disappointing the "product/event" can be.

Will HoCaine survive? OF course he will.

Our predictions....HoCaine fakes his death, goes undercover for three months (HoCaine...undercover...riiiiiiiiight), and the only person who knows--based on that parting text message from last season--is Ryan Wolfe, while Calleigh will run the lab...

If the writers play it completely straight, it miiiiiiight work...

An animated (more grown-up) discussion about CSI Miami spoilers can be found on:

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3136971&pid=10822180&st=555&#entry10822180

David Caruso

Quote of the day - "....David Caruso broke a barrier when he exposed his white, pasty and not terribly attractive derriere on prime time TV in NYPD Blue....."(http://www.crescentblues.com/6_2issue/com_kathybates.shtml)

David Caruso's nipples

No, sorry we aren't going to talk about Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's nipples -even if he sports a fine pair of MOOBS (man-boobs) . However, we thought this title was funny enough! (Thank you http://moonsinleo.blogspot.com/2008/09/david-carusos-nipples.html - A blogger who wouldn't watch CSI Miami/David Caruso even if his life would depend on it!)

...David Caruso stars as Horatio Caine. It's amazing this guy could even get a job after he left "NYPD Blue." As you might recall, he thought he was going on to bigger and better things after that TV drama. I have never watched this show, and would not, even at gun point. The most I have seen of it are clips on YouTube wherein Mr. Caruso makes a pithy remark and then either puts on his sunglasses, takes off his sunglasses or walks off camera....

A collection of interesting David Caruso articles can be found on:
http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED
http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+In+Print

And not to forget our fun-polls...
http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls
David Caruso

Quote of the day - "I think someone shot Horatio, can anyone really stand David Caruso?..." (http://procrastinationchronicles.com/2008/09/20/next-week-922/)

David Caruso - Results of Fuck, Marry or Kill

The verdict is in.

The people - fans/readers/visitors - have spoken again.

The competition was stiff.

The talent set up against Icon of Idiocy David Caruso was over-whelming.

His competitors have charisma, talent and looks. Everything David Caruso obviously is lacking.

The more surprising it was for us that old Dave WON in HIS CATEGORY. Even a habitual loser like David Caruso has some luck now or then, right?

POLL: Fuck, Marry or Kill? The CSI Edition!

(http://www.zimbio.com/David+Caruso+REVEALED/polls/3/results/F+k+marry+kill+CSI+edition+suggestions)

Poll opened: July 21, 2008

Poll ended: September 20, 2008

Votes: 37

Results:

F - GARY SINISE as MacTaylor 35%

M - WILLIAM PETERSEN as Gil Grissom 19%

K - DAVID CARUSO as HoCaine 46%

Congrats, Dave!

David Caruso

Quote of the day - "....David Caruso stars as Horatio Caine. It's amazing this guy could even get a job after he left "NYPD Blue...." (http://moonsinleo.blogspot.com/2008/09/david-carusos-nipples.html)

Celebrating the ("Icon of Idiocy") David Caruso Day!

Fans, readers and visitors!
While nitwit/dojo bores the Internet with her toothless little rants ( Where does she get her retarded ideas from
anyway??) WE have something REALLY funny/entertaining to offer!
Prepare your sunglasses!
The GREAT LISA DE MORAES, the renowed Washington Post and WE have decides to dedicate a whole day to ICON OF IDIOCY DAVID CARUSO.....What better way to start a day than with THE FOLLOWING???

Lisa de Moraes: Monday, the start of the seventh glorious season of "CSI: Miami," we have declared David Caruso Day -� a 24-hour tribute to the most underappreciated thespian in the primetime firmament. It's something like that National Talk Like a Pirate Day -- which, in one of those incredible coincidences that makes covering TV such a paranormal experience, is today! On David Caruso Day you don't have wear an eye patch or say "Aargh!" all day long. Instead, you get to hiss pithy, mockable one-liners while leering over the top of your Maui Jim's, and generally muck about like an actor who, early in his career may have gotten to fill in for the lead role of Jean Valjean in "Les Miserables" on Broadway for six months, but who is coming to the realization the defining role of his career is a vocabulary-challenged cop saddled with the name Horatio. Additionally, we invite you to send an essay "What David Caruso Day Means to Me" to the TV Column's invaluable colleague Emily Yahr. And, we encourage you to send photos and video of you participating in David Caruso Day, which should also be sent to poor Emily's e-mail address. We will share the submissions with you on the chat next Friday. So here, with thanks to the many TV Column chatters who have contributed their suggestions, are the OFFICIAL DAVID CARUSO DAY RULES:
Maui Jim sunglasses must be worn all day. Outfit should ideally also include a dark expensive suit (Armani for verisimilitude), dress shirt, no tie, badge, and a Hummer for transportation. When speaking, head must be cocked to one side, hands on hips (aka Caruso Handles).
If you are using more than 10 words in a sentence while speaking, you are doing it wrong.
The more the mundane the spoken sentence, the more it must be delivered with the slit-eyed intensity of a man who has just cornered John Dillinger -- or, if you prefer, the slit-eyed intensity of Laurence Olivier as Heathcliff. The goal here is to make William Shatner look well-modulated. Less mundane sentences spoken in the course of the day (example: "Boss, you can take this job and shove it.") may be delivered with only a pseudo-grim look.
When calling someone by name in a conversation, participants must follow that person's name with an extremely pregnant pause. Example: "Frank (pause, pause, pause) it looks like the Xerox machine is broken again." When the topic of conversation is very serious, the person must be addressed by their full name ("Francis" instead of Frank). Address women you work with as "Ms" followed by last name, never by their first name.
At least 75 percent of statements made in the course of the day by participants must be delivered as a question. Example: "It's ... cold outside?"
At least once per hour, you must open your cell phone abruptly, dial a number, tensely whisper terse instructions into the phone and slap the phone shut -- before the call could possibly have connected to the person you dialed.
When speaking to someone at length, you must first address the person's feet, then slowly look up and, before making eye contact, look away, then walk out of the frame. Exception: It is acceptable to look a small child in the eye.
Appear in places when you are least expected, especially to confront your nemesis, who is hopefully from another country, like Brazil. When your nemesis finally spots you, smirk, call out his/her name, say you are coming to get him or her, then immediately disappear. Here are two more clips for inspiration: David Caruso Day-worthy takes by Jim Carrey and the "Sesame Street" team. For advanced instruction, attend the David Caruso School of Acting. Good luck!

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Former "CSI" fan: Yo, I used to watch all three "CSI" shows. Now I hate them with a passion. I love this David Caruso Day idea! Can we also vote for the best David Caruso moments in "CSI: Miami"? ?

Lisa de Moraes: Glad you like David Caruso Day and I like the idea of voting for best David Caruso Moments. I will see if we can get a poll set up. And, in re "Grey's Anatomy" and "Lost" -- maybe we need term limits?
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?: How can someone be so briliant as to write those fabulous rules for David Caruso Day and not appreciate "Swingtown" or "Friday Night Lights"? Not that I'm suggesting the former had the quality of the latter ... but still, it was pretty good, and the only thing I've watched on CBS in years!

Lisa de Moraes: "Swingtown" wasn't swingy enough for me -- wish it had been on pay cable. And "Friday Night Lights" is just too glutinous for me. But thanks in re the David Caruso Rules but, to be honest, chatters and some of my sources contributed mightily to the list....
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2008/09/15/DI2008091502800.html
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David Caruso
LET THE SNARKING BEGIN!!!!!

David Caruso - Tour d’embarrasment

.....What is Jeremy Bruckheimer thinking with Miami? How can he even put his name under Executive Producer without crying from shame?

Let's talk about Icon of Idiocy, David Caruso:

I CANNOT see Caruso as a badass, no matter how hard he tries. Grissom is s bad ass, Horatio is more like Bill Gates cousin. If I have to watch him cock his head to the side and whisper some ridiculous one liner under his breath in that annoying, monotone, "I'm an Agent from The Matrix" voice one more time, I'm going start sending him hate mail (Not really! Don't sue me!)

David Caruso. Leave those sunglasses alone PA-LEASE!

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http://www.tvscoop.tv/2008/01/why_was_the_csi_1.html

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David Caruso

Quote of the day - ....My vote goes to David Caruso. I mean who else can get away with his rhythm. I mean c'mon, say a few words pause then say a few more continued ad nauseum I'd have to agree. He makes CSI Miami unwatchable...(http://archive2.avsforum.com/avs-vb/archive/index.php/t-490250.html.)

David Caruso - Puurrrrr!!!

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso : Mmmm,...*sad sigh*
No, he couldn't act his way out of a wet paper sack. I think he's only got two moods: Angry and Pissed.
Caruso is terribly painful to watch. My sister and I laugh at the idiocy/crack that is Miami.
Either David Caruso or the director of CSI Miami, preferably both, must go away. Soon.


On the set:
Caruso: "Aaaaaaaaaah. But theey didn't teell yooou about the caaaandlestick hooolder."
Director: "David, put more purr in your lines! Puuuuurrrrrrrrrr them, I say!"
LOL
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http://bibliophile1887.livejournal.com/113208.html
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David Caruso
Quote of the day - ......The issue is David Caruso is overacting. Everytime he rips off those glasses in dramatic flare I want to hit him in the head. (http://www.simplystating.com/2008/too-much-csimiami/)