Saturday, April 19, 2008

David Caruso's sappy soap hour

MySpace is a great place if you want to find entertaining stuff of all kind. People blog about themselves, their favourite past-times and actors the like or don't like. The following is a prime example of a person who MOST DEFINITELY DOESN'T like David Caruso (Who can blame her???)

I need a refund on 7 minutes of my life. (
I viewed a compilation of 7 minutes worth of horrid one-liners from Horatio Cane, aka David Caruso, aka the WORST ACTOR EVER TO GRACE THE EARTH! Honestly, how can one actor be so incredibly bad at acting and STILL have a signed contract with CBS!?!?
Let me run down the talent that Caruso so wonderfullly adds to each episode:

1) Cane arrives on scene. NO sunglasses on.

2) Cane asks typical "What happened" like question, gets response.

3) Places sunglasses ON, looks into air, puts hands on hips, and gives the most painfully aweful, brain-piercing, terribly written one-liner.

4) Exits the scene. Everyone left dumbfounded by moron nature of line

Some notes you may want to take while watching:
A) For the most part, Caruso doesn't believe in making eye contact with people. Why? Maybe because he is God, maybe he really is scared of people, maybe he's blind and is just THAT good with his other senses... Never-the-less, it is ANNOYING AS HELL!!!

B) There has got to be some weird love connection between Caruso and Linn, the lead detective. "Frank, what do we have." "Frank, get me up to speed." "Frank, I want your love." Come out and admit it already!

C) The scream that is heard after the one-liner is done is not actually that of the Who, but actually one of two other things: Me screaming at the top of my lungs from the pain my brain is experiencing from the horror I just witnessed, or 100 years of dead actors souls that are shrieking in disgust at what is being played over the airwaves.....

No comments: