Monday, July 28, 2008


....As for Horatio Caine, there are tribes in deepest, darkest Amazonia who, on seeing David Caruso, would, amidst giggling and in a language formed from clicks and whistles, pronounce him to be an arse.
Again, it's David Caruso that's the problem, even to ruining the aftermath of Speedle's shooting, which, given its importance in the show, ends up crippling CSI: Miami as a whole.
It's worth describing the moments after Speedle's shooting just to understand how woefully David Caruso plays it : At first, he objects to leaving, saying that Speedle's body is still warm. As a CSI, he really ought to know that the minutes immediately after a shooting is the perfect time to begin working the scene of a crime but it takes another character to remind him of this. Going outside, he approaches the owner of the premises on which Speedle was shot and killed and, giving him the kind of half-hearted shove you won't have seen since you were last in the playground, he says..."I'm going to put you in the car!"
Another actor might have lost control, either by drawing his weapon or simply by breaking down and crying but not Caruso. Caine keeps his word and he puts him in the car. The weeping of an audience of millions - directed more at David Caruso's hopeless acting than at Cochrane's death - could, I'm sure, he heard even in space..
I walked away from CSI: Miami and never returned, at least not until now. I can take the new Miss Ellie, I can even take the alien spaceship of The Colbys but Horatio Caine driving his enormous Hummer through a building as it collapses around him is either the punch line to a gag that was building for over two seasons or someone's very bad idea. I suspect it was the latter and that someone was probably David Caruso..
Why, then, they get CSI: Miami so wrong is bewildering, choosing to announce it at the end of a Tuesday night episode of the Las Vegas show with a grinning David Caruso. Whilst only slightly preferable to someone from Five visiting to tell you in person that CSI: Miami is up next before hitting you full in the face with a shovel, the sight of a very smug David Caruso taking up almost all of a 43" television can make one come over all queasy...
Quote of the day.... David Caruso is, without a doubt, the greatest thing to happen to robots since the Governator...(

No comments: