Monday, July 14, 2008

David Caruso - The resurrection of the Sunglass-idiot

We all know CSI Miami is David Caruso´s LAST CHANCE. Nobody in the industry would give the King of failures and temper-tantrums a job. So CSI Miami kind of resurrected David Caruos´s ailing career. We are not sure if the non-talent deserved a second chance at all.
Anyway , enclosed find a few CSI Miami Season 7 spoilers. But beware. If you thought that - after watching the train-wreck that was season 6 - it couldn´t get any worse -prepare yourself.
It can get a lot worse.
Season 7 looks like a big fat heap of shit....

....CSI: Miami episode 7.01, now called Resurrection, is sure to be another nailbiter. With Horatio dead –or so they want us to believe- and the episode title floating around, we’re sure to start ripping into the who’s and what’s of what happened on the tarmac. [Okay, it’s properly called the apron, and it’s really made of asphalt-concrete. I don’t know why we still call it tarmac. Tar-macadam hasn’t been used for decades. Why do we do this only for airports, especially when we could just call it by what it is and does, rather than what it was made of a hundred years ago? Okay, so I kind of understand the historical why, but… Lest we digress…]
The CSI: Miami Season Six finale left us with Horatio on the ground, and a host of suspicious secondary –and one supporting- characters.
We do know that Horatio does not die. It is left to us, and the team –assuming they don’t know about it- to discover who shot Horatio. And who the heck is going to spout off those little one-liners? And what kind of sunglasses are they going to remove when they spout them? And are they going to make me scratch my head after I hear them, sometimes wondering why they were any different from, or added anything to, the statement that they are answering?
So, we’ll begin the next episode with the big, bad, apparent Caruso-fixtion. That’s the killing of David Caruso’s character that devotees know must lead to his resurrection, three months –not days- later.
According to CSI Files’ sources, there will be a trace of foreign DNA in the pool of blood surrounding Horatio. That DNA will lead them back to one of Juan Ortega’s associates, Miguel Diaz. Diaz, of course, is a good suspect, since he has something against Horatio.
Of course, Diaz denies shooting Horatio, although he was present at the airport, and heard the gunshot. He merely photographed Horatio lying on the ground, with his camera-phone, so he could take credit for the murder. Thank you for playing, Miguel; he goes back to jail. Calleigh and Eric keep his phone.
The team also must look into a situation related to the investigation that led to Horatio’s shooting. Casualties in two gunfire attacks, one on an Marmored car, and another on a bulletproof celebrity car, indicate that the fused alloy bullets have made it into the hands of local gangs. Ryan is driving Ortega in his car when one of the attacks occurs. He’s forced to let Ortega get away, though, to help a woman who is in danger.
The gang members seen leaving the scenes are on motorcycles, making it seem that a gang other than Ortega’s is involved.
There is no mention, yet of Jake Berkeley, traffic lights, or how to replace Horatio’s sunglasses.
Quote of the day : ....I'm watching a CSI:Miami marathon on A&E... and David Caruso who plays Horatio Caine is a horrible actor. Thats why csi miami is garbage. (

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