Thursday, July 24, 2008

We HATE David Caruso!

The Internet is full of funny and witty people. One of those great individuals is responsible for the following post. Thank you, whoever you are for providing us with the laugh of the week!!! Needless to say we agree with everything you said....

There are certain beings who, upon observing them, make others wonder at their purpose. Platypuses, for example. Why on earth would God stick a duck bill on a fuzzy critter, and make it swim? To amuse us, or perhaps annoy us, are the only two reasons I can come up with.
Similarly, the Almighty hath thrust David Caruso upon us. He and others call him an actor–my guess is because ‘no-talent ass clown’ isn’t a recognized career designation.

There are plenty of talented performers that either are completely underutilized (I would like to see more of Rosario Dawson, please, if you’re a casting director and happen to be reading this), misused (Jane Lynch is a wonderful comedic and character actor, but she needs a meatier role to showcase her awesome chops), or don’t get any work at all. They’d make a perfectly good CSI: Miami star.
Instead, we are forced to watched this red-headed monotonal weaseldick stink up the airwaves.
I hate him because he has three lazy moves that I think he believes are grand gestures that can pass as actual thespianism:
1. Takes off/puts on sunglasses. What, is he playing peekabo?
2. Looks away as he says something dramatic. Is his character shy? I don’t get it.
3. Keeps his eyes directly on someone as he talks to them, but turns his body away. It’s odd and unnatural, almost as weird as the scene in the Exorcist when Linda Blair’s head turns 180 degrees. Oooh.

William Petersen rocks as the CSI Las Vegas skipper. Both of those guys are Chicago-grown thespians. Maybe Caruso should step aside and make room for another Windy City type guy.


Quote of the day - ...Then there's this letdown as David Caruso slides his sun glasses on with yet again some quippy line of "I told you so." (

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