Monday, May 19, 2008

David Caruso - Rhymes with asshole...

I love my new TV very much for its ability to show every single pore on David Caruso’s bulbous snout. David Caruso (rhymes with asshole) makes me want to hack.
Caruso. He says his lines with such a damn over-dramatic serious tone I just want to slap him.

CSI: Miami's "big star", Caruso, isn't interesting enough to carry a single episode, let alone an entire show. The ridiculously named lead mumbles his way through a series of lines that'd make George Lucas blush, and begins and ends nearly every episode laughably glaring just off-camera through his oh-so-chic sunshades .
The writing is substandard and unoriginal. It’s not that I think that the writers are actively ripping off other, better shows, as much as I believe that they are so uninspired that they aren't questioning their originality, as a good writer probably should.
Caine precedes every cut with some remark so trivial, and so stereotyped to the detective genre that it will make even the most uncultured viewer wince. ‘Underneath all that make-up, she's just a little girl’...
....indeed, now excuse
me while I vomit.......

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